tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13195057539483095502024-03-14T01:09:40.429-04:00Through My Muslim EyesThe world as I see it...Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-30916170218158016772011-05-21T12:06:00.002-04:002011-05-23T15:55:51.551-04:00<div>Life has been a bit crazy as of late. I've been running around so much that time escapes me. I've just been putting a lot of energy into me and my son so I haven't had much time to blog. As of late things are pretty good. My son is starting daycare next week, inshaAllah. I decided to put him there because I thought it would be beneficial for him to be around other kids and learn new things. Of course I went through a list a mile long trying to find the right facility and alhamdulillah the one I found is perfect. The provider as I see it has passion for what she does and truly enjoys being with the children. A lot of the kids have been with her since they were infants and are still there. I'm just excited for my little one and still a bit nervous. Thig is going to be his first time around someone without me or my family. I know he is going to scream and cry but inshaAllah he will be fine. When he gets around other kids he tends to forget about me like mama who? SO I'll keep you updated on how that goes.</div><div> </div><div> I've been taking up more sewing as well. I've started to wear niqab again since March, I think. And we know how hard it is to find niqabs other than black, black, a weird brown, olive green, navy blue, maybe plum, and more black. My solution to that is make your own. It really isn't that hard. The one layer tie back niqabs are my style and I don't really like the layered ones since it tends to one wanna blow in my face if I don't pin it. Plus you can find the fabric you like in whatever color you want and you don't have to have that horrble poly cotton backing that a lot of those niqabs have which I really can't stand. They tend to make me hotter and it sticks to my lips. Also I've made a few abaayat for myslef as well, just basic styles since its mostly what I wear everyday. A sister suggested I should make it into a business, since she technically my first customer who wanted to khimaar. InshaAllah maybe one day, I don't mind accepting custom orders. </div><div>AS for everything else, I'm just taking things day by day. I was suppose to be getting married back in April but things didn't work out as planned, so Im taking a back seat to it right now. Of course I want to be married and have a family but it isn't the priority and that was the problem I had before thinking that I needed to be married and desperatley wanting it but Im fi</div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-18546516784191516522011-03-21T23:37:00.009-04:002011-03-27T10:18:37.683-04:00To Take or Not to Take?<div><div>I've been debating the issue of whether or not to take birth control. I am to be married soon, inshaAllah and Ive discussed it with my future husband(actually ex-husband) and we decided that we do not want children right away and if it is the will of Allah.And no I'm not being pessimisstic in anyway. I don't go into a marriage thinking it isn't going to work. If I have my doubts in the beginning I just don't do it. Anyway, the reason being to really establish our relationship and that of out son's and our whole family dynamic. I have an appointment coming up with my doctor and I am going to discuss my options with her. It is a bit confusing all the birth control mumbo jumbo and so many different kinds, you have the combination pill, mini pill, the patch, pills with low estrogen, etc, etc, that its kind of hard to choose. I guess you just choose the one that is best for you and your situation. Like I plan, inshaAllah to have another child in the near future, I don't really like taking pills and have a habit of forgetting to take them, but considering the other options I think the pill be best(I'm not getting an IUD insert,and noway am I going to insert something up there and then have to fish out later). Now the next thing is which pill:combo or mini. Just in short and without having to go into so much detail(you can look it up for yourself)the combination pill contains estrogen and progesterone and.The mini pill has just progesterone in it and very small amounts of estrogen.</div><div>As for the Islamic viewpoint on it, its a bit controversial. Some ulema say its not allowed at all, that the purpose of marriage is to have children. According to others, it isn't allowed just to be a convienience but there has to be some need for it like the mother's health might be jeopardized by another pregnancy and just out of plain necessity. For the full fatwa <a href="http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/21169/birth%20control">click here</a> . </div><div> Now to me the best spacing for kids is two years for this gives your body enough time to somewhat "heal" from the last pregnancy, especially if you've had a c-section. Trust me it really throws your body out of whack. I still feel like Im recooperating in someway. Anyway what are your thoughts?</div><div> </div></div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-45849175459527511072011-03-11T11:11:00.003-05:002011-03-27T10:22:57.498-04:00If You Had 24 Hours<div><div align="center"><em>****This was from a couple of weeks ago and I just realized I didn't post it.***********</em></div><div> </div><div> My mother had turned on the radio early this morning and they were talking about the tsunami that hit Japan. They were discussing what they would do if they only had 24 hours to live. Some the responses were I would all my favorite food, throw the party of my life and go out with a bang. One was really appalling saying if I was still a virgin I would lose my virginity. SubhanAllah. Really? If you knew that you were going to die in 24 hours, that is what you would do?</div><div> Wouldn't you want to be supplicated asking Allah for forgiveness, to praise Him, to ask Him to have mercy on you? This comes to show how people are so blinded by the life of this world and all its charms. They have become so wrapped up in the materialistic things of this dunya and forget about their creator</div><div> The time and place of our death are known to none except Allah (SWT). This is part of the wisdom of Allah. If we knew when we were gonna die, we would be more focused on or worship to Allah. But this life is a test and knowing that would make things too easy. This is why we need to make sure that we make dhikr, du'a and more ibadah each and everyday for we never know when Allah will call us back to Him. So remind yourself everyday, what have I done to secure my akhira?</div><div> </div></div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-60190076364801733412011-03-06T11:07:00.006-05:002011-03-09T14:11:14.672-05:00My Latest Obsession<div><div><div>The past few months Ive been very much into henna. I have had it done a few times throughout the years but this time around I wanted to learn how to do it myself. One website which really gives you the basics is hennapage.com. They have a lot of resources and breaking down all that pertains to henna, applying it, how to mix it, aftercare, designs, etc.</div><div> Right now it is just a hobby that I enjoy. It really helps me to be creative and definitely relaxing as I can have some me time away from everyone else. I want to inshaAllah one day to take classes. One sister has online classes she teaches which aren't expensive at all and I love her work. MashaAllah she just opened her new store in Portland Oregan. Check her out at <a href="http://freehandmehndhi.com">freehandmehndhi.com</a>. She also has a youtube channel as well.</div><div> Another artist I really admire is Jamilah Zebarth of <a href="http://www.jamilahhennacreations.com/">Jamailah Henna Creations</a>. From my knowledge she has been doing henna for a long time and has her own design book. Her style is more floral designs, which are beautiful and girly. She is also a niqabi :)</div></div><br /><br /><a title="DSC_0198 by Henna by Heather - Mehndi in Boston / Providence M, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/7394880@N04/4116814996/"></a><br /><br /><a title="Fishnet glove w/ flowers - Jamilah's pattern by Henna by Heather - Mehndi in Boston / Providence M, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/7394880@N04/3883053418/"><img alt="Fishnet glove w/ flowers - Jamilah's pattern" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3456/3883053418_2c20dc1081.jpg" width="500" height="393" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />This design is inspired by Jamilah, done by Henna by Heather, whose designs I also love.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a title="Henna inspired by Jamilah by Henna by Heather - Mehndi in Boston / Providence M, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/7394880@N04/5486780054/"><img alt="Henna inspired by Jamilah" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5256/5486780054_7293009105.jpg" width="500" height="267" /></a></div><div> </div><div> </div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-11611756246791572522011-03-02T13:16:00.005-05:002011-03-02T13:54:08.130-05:00Not Every Muslimah Who Wears An Abaya is Arab<div><div>I was asked this question the other day by a Yemeni sister-Min Maghrebi?. It roughly means are you Moroccan/from Morocco? I replied no, I am American (La, Amreeki). She had a surprised look on her face like you are American yet you wear abaya and can speak Arabic? Alhamdulillah I've been blessed to have study Arabic from when I was very young til my teen years. I can't fully speak Arabic. I can understand way more than I can speak it and I can't understand certain dialects. From what some people tell me Yemeni Arabic is the hardest to understand. I had to get used to Khaleeji Arabic with -ich like kayf 7alaich? I learned fusha or proper Arabic if you can call it and every Arab country has their own dialect. </div><div> Anyway, I've been asked many times if I am either Moroccan or Egyptian. To myself I don't really look it. To give a bit of a background on my ethnicity, from my mother's side, both of her parents are from the South. My grandmother is half native American and African American. My grandfather is African American and ancestry is from West Africa. Also there is some Irish mixed in there. On the paternal side, my grandfather is 100% Native American, while my grandmother, well all I can tell you she is from Oklahoma. From that I just consider myself basically American with African roots. </div><div> I see that a lot of people, not only Arabs, would think a woman who wears an abaya is assumed from the Middle East or North Africa. They think she knows Arabic and her whole family is from there. I guess this more or less goes for the sisters who they can't really tell where they come from or look a little more "exotic" if I may say. When you tell them otherwise, some of them won't believe you like you are trying to hide that you are. From other experiences with people who are from Western countries who go to Arab countries, who aren't of Arab descent and dress like the locals, its hard for the locals to fathom that woman outside of that country, mainly in the US, Canada, wear abaya. </div><div> The abaya is considered to be something that is cultural to those of Middle East, so a lot of people wonder why a lot of Muslim women who aren't from that region wear it. The reason I wear an abaya, no I am not trying to Arab or anything like that, is because to me and many other sisters, it is the easiest option that fulfills the requirement of proper hijab. It is loose and covers the body without showing your adornements or the shape of your body. Honestly what modern form of dress really does that in this day and age of the skinny jeans and body hugging clothes. I'm not saying that a long shirt. tunic with a skirt aren't proper hijab, but my opinion is that of the abaya and Allah knows knows best. </div><div> As for the lesson, not every woman who wears an abaya is Arab or speaks Arabic nor does every Arab wear abaya (as is seemed to believe)-actually most of the Arabs that I know don't even wear hijab and are Muslim. </div><div> </div></div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-1481415061944049912011-01-22T19:32:00.004-05:002011-01-22T19:49:51.317-05:00Putting My Last Post into Practice<div>A few days ago the very thing I posted about last time was really put to the test. My brother and I had gotten into a huge argument over stupidity and started to say things about me that were really disrespectful. I ignored it at first but what really pushed me over the edge when he said something about my son and even went far to cursing Islam. I became so angry. </div><div> </div><div> When it comes to me people can say what they want to say. Ive heard the whole terrorist thing, muslim women are oppressed, or as according to my brother you are just part of a cult and you sit on the floor with your little friends chanting, I've heard it all. I usually ignore the people who are completely ignorant of Islam. I will usually take that as an excuse. But someone who was raised upon Islam and knows good well what it is about and says something an ignorant person might say, then I get angry and mostly upset. </div><div> </div><div>Something else happened that was dumbfounding but I just don't have the heart to repeat. It makes me take a long good look at my family and really wonder what in the world has happened. I feel like I am not from them, like I came from somewhere else or Im the convert. I was raised in a pretty good Muslim household that followed the Qur'an and Sunnah. Now when the Qur'An or Sunnah is mentioned peoples desires take over and what Islam says is tossed out the window. But the funny thing is that someone is trying to reprimand the other with what the Qur'an says but you yourself isn't adhering to that. Does that say hypocrisy? </div><div> </div><div>I haven't spoken to my brother since it happened. I'm just tired of talking sometimes because I know I'm talking to the wall. I haven't openly forgiving him because Im just not ready to.Every time I see him it just upsets me. I guess have to reread my last post. I love and care about my family and I pray that Allah forgives them for what they do and forgives for anything I might have done.</div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-61244097183442084212011-01-16T21:20:00.003-05:002011-01-16T21:32:27.779-05:00Never Give Up on People<div>The past 2 years have been such a roller coaster for me. I have come a long way and learned a lot of things about myself and others. I learned who my real friends are, who to trust, who to let go, how not to be to hard on myself, to give things time and most importantly how to forgive.</div><div> Sometimes forgiveness is the hardest things to do, especially when someone has done something so wrong to you and hurt you down to your core. Most of us hold onto the things that happen and it starts to consume us and it becomes you. Forgiveness isn't easy but it is important in order to live a normal and sane life. </div><div> I know I have a habit of forgiving someone and just removing them from my life forever without any explanation and calling it a day and not giving them a chance. This time around in my life I took the other way. I forgave a long time ago and just see what time will tell and alhamdulillah everything and everyone is coming around. Sometimes we go through hard times in our life and can't see things clearly, we act in certain ways that is out of character and it takes a while before we realized what we done. To be more specific without going into too much detail is the situation with me and my son's father. We have been to hell and back but now we are starting to see things in a different light and starting to understand each other and things are so much better. I guess what we had to do was to really forgive each other and forget about the past (that's the key, not holding on to the past) and try to move forward. I never really gave up on us even after all the things we have gone through. You give them time and see if they will change for the better. And we both changed for the better. InshaAllah the second time around might work.</div><div> So the lesson for today is: Allah SWT is forgiving, so we should be forgiving to others as well no matter what it is.</div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-70733928443629939332011-01-07T21:44:00.005-05:002011-01-07T21:59:36.195-05:00A New Me<div><div>AsSalaamu Alaikum fellow bloggers, I am still around and I haven't forgotten about you. Life can take a hold of you to the point where you can't find the time to do anything. Alhamdulillah I have the time now so I decided why not blog.</div><div> My son and I have been doing well. He is a normal toddler running around, getting into anything possible, and Im enjoying every minute for it. Life is still the same. Still trying to find the right direction to take with Allah's guidance. InshaAllah I'll get there. I trying to take a fresh and clear approach to things. Im taking the time to take more me time whenever I can. I know many moms feel guilty when they aren't always there with their children but in order to the best for them you have to take care of yourself. So Ive been trying to get healthier, eating a little better than I have been, taking longer walks, things like that and alhamdulillah Im starting to see the difference. I'm less moody and anxious, I have more energy and don't feel too lazy throughout the day. I have also</div><div>taken the time to work on my ibaada, to make more du'a, read more Qur'an in such, basically working on my relationship with Allah SWT because without that we are all lost. Im also making it a goal to memorize Juz Amma (Part 30 od the Qur'an). Im ten surahs short. Ive just fully memorized Surah Buruj and I feel pretty proud. One thing I also learned is to read Qur'an to your children. The other day I was reading to my son and then later in the day he was sitting in the floor and he was like mumbling to himself and it was like he was trying to recite. Then the next day he was holding my Qur'an and doing the same mumbling voice. Mash'Allah how kids learn. They mimic what we see, so we have to be good examples for them. That's how I learned many surahs from my father reciting. Insha'Allah my son will follow in my footsteps.</div></div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-75292542325731848502010-10-29T20:21:00.001-04:002010-10-29T20:38:49.012-04:00At a Crossroad<div>AsSalaamu alaikum my dear readers. I know I am so infrequent with my blog post. Please forgive me. Many times I have the intention to blog but either time escapes me or I just have a serious case of writers block.</div><div> Alhamdulillah I have been doing well. THe little one is good as well. He just turned 1 a few weeks ago. Can you believe its been a whole year? The things that can happen in that amount of time. How children grow so much. They start out as these little helpless beings, that depend on you for everything. Then they start to grow and develop into independent beings, still very much dependent but more of a mind of their own. My son just amazes me everyday. He is this little ball of energy, full of life, and a great personality. He thinks he is grown and does what he wants to do and throws and serious tantrum at times if you try to tell him otherwise. But most of the time he is the sweetest little thing ever who loves hugs and kisses and cuddling. He is just filled with love. Every morning I look forward to seeing his face and just talking with him. He is so conversational. Of course a lot of it you can't understand, but I love his little babbling. </div><div> Being a mom is a wonderful feeling, but it is also a bit challenging at times. You want the best for your children and hope that you are doing whatever you can to make sure they have a good life. Sometimes people can get in the way of that. My family and I don't really see eye to eye on certain things. I'm the only one who really practices in my family, only Allah knows what they have in their hearts. Alhamdulillah they help me whenever they can and I am highly grateful but certain things I can't stand nor tolerate. The constant swearing, aggressiveness, not praying, etc..that I do not want my son around. Yes he is young now but he is at the age where he starts to mimic the things he sees and hears.</div><div> Now here is the dilemma do I stay or do I go? </div><div> He has been around my family since day one and he is really attached to my mom and brothers. Alhamdulillah he has a great relationship with them. This is basically home to him, but Im just concerned about what he is learning and is it going to affect him. I want my son to have stability and to be around those who love him but at what cost. DO I have him around </div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-59999838431655544452010-09-07T17:00:00.002-04:002010-09-07T17:05:10.885-04:00UpdateI know I haven't really been updating like I have intended to do. My life has just been a whirlwind. With Ramadan, motherhood, and other issues Im lucky if I can remember my name at the end of the day. There are soooo many things I wanna blog about yet time won't allow me too. InshaAllah when things settle down a little bit, I'll be more free to share more. Thank you to the sisters who still keep in contact. As for the little one, alhamdulillah he will be 11 months old in a couple of days. It is amazing how time flies. He is already walking (has been for 3 weeks now). I guess he tells himself he has to keep up with his crazy uncles. I swear he went to standing up on his own for 2 days to taking a couple of steps for a week, to walking distances for a day to running everywhere. He just puts a huge smile on my face.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-3881402195613466892010-08-18T19:36:00.001-04:002010-08-18T19:36:11.479-04:00What’s going on<span xmlns=''><p><br /> <span style='font-size:12pt'>Alhamdulillah, Ramadan is going pretty well. It was just what I needed for a long time. I've been up and down, round and round with everything. I felt like I needed to be centered and this month has managed to do that. The last time I was around I had just had my son. My life has been turned upside ever since. Motherhood surely changes your life. I guess the secret to it is to accept the change as it comes and don't try to be perfect. Routine is nice but doesn't always work. I just roll with the punches as they come. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'> As for everything else, I am just trying to do my best to find balance, trying to put the pieces to my life. I've been on my own before my son was born. My son's father, even before I knew I was pregnant, decided he didn't want to be around. So it's just been Zayd and I, which I really don't mind. I think we are better off that way. I guess I never talked about it before while I was pregnant, some people knew, just to avoid the negativity which seems to fly around the blog world. But I'm no longer concerned of the negative comments. Even in my absence on my blog, I have gotten a lot of e-mails from sisters who needed advice on certain situations they were going through that I had been through and relayed through my blog. That is the number one reason I started blogging and stated in my first post that I wanted to be able to connect with others. Most of the time we feel we are the only ones going through something when matter fact there are so many others who are going through the same exact thing. That is what matters to me, being able to share my stories and experiences and being relatable to others. Yes everyone has their opinion and you aren't always going to agree but the key is to respect what the other one has to say. There were so many times where I felt like I desperately needed to blog but due to lack of internet access, I couldn't. Now there are a million and one things I want to talk about but it's not summing out like it should. I guess it'll all come out slowly but surely. I need to just take my time. I discuss a lot more things later on. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'> As for my son, he is 10 months old now and just a little ball of energy. He is crawling everywhere and getting into anything he can. He should start walking soon. He already stands up on his own and takes a step then drop to the ground. It's amazing to watch him grow up, even though he is growing up a little too fast for me. It's like you blink and then a year has passed by. He was already trying to look at everything and hold his head up when he was born. That should have told me what to expect. He is the one of the best things in my life and even though it hasn't been easy, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. Yes I know that sounds so cliché, it is absolutely true. There are times where I want to pull my hair out my head and scream, but just seeing him hay and smiling makes it all worth it. <br /></span></p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'> Insha'Allah, there will be more to come and I'll try to post as often as I can.<br /></span></p><p><br /> </p><p> <br /> </p><p><span style='font-size:12pt'><br /> </span> </p></span>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-59207179026805767072010-08-16T22:07:00.002-04:002010-08-16T22:11:16.479-04:00Ramadan Mubarak,..from a strangerAsSalaamu Alaikum everyone. I know its been so long since Ive blogged and I have really really missed it. So much has happened in the past months and I guess I just wasnt up to blogging, especially with having a little one. They definitely do change your life. I had to really adjust to that and being in a new place. Also I didnt really have reliable internet access so thats another reason. But alhamdulillah Im back now and inshaAllah I wont be going anywhere soon. So many new things to discuss, so many new adventures to talk back. I'll get to them in time. Just wanted to let everyone know I am still here.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-54058399921872497862009-10-17T15:50:00.004-04:002009-10-17T16:32:36.573-04:00Here's My Story<div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> I had went to the doctor on Thursday Oct 8th @, after hearing conflicting views on whether I was gonna be induced or not, to get a second opinion from one of the other doctors. I was lucky to get an appointment so fast and didn't have to wait til the following week. So the did the NST again and for the second time Mr. baby didn't really cooperate. The doctor had checked me and I had dilated to 2 cm and was 70% effaced. A big difference a couple of days make. So my doctor told me that she was gonna go ahead and induce me since I was past 41 weeks. I wanted to jump up and hug her (but didn't). I was excited and nervous at the same time.</div><div align="justify"> So I made my way over to the hospital. around 12 pm. Good thing the hospital and the doctor's office are connected, so I didn't have to walk far. I just smoothly made my way to L&D, they told me what room I was in, came in the room, met my nurse (who was oh so sweet), changed, took my vitals, answered a million and one question, had my IV put in (which was nearly painless), and was started on pitocin to start my contractions.</div><div align="justify"> For awhile I was absolutely fine. I wasn't in any pain, which surprised my nurse because on the monitor my contractions where jumping off the chart. It was that way for a few hours. Around 7pm that's when they started to pick up just a little bit. The pain wasn't bad just a bit uncomfortable. Nothing I couldn't breathe thru. My nurse was the sweetest woman ever always asking me if I needed anything and making sure I was comfortable. I really couldn't eat anything. I was put on a clear liquid diet in where I can only drink water, juice and eat light things like crackers, Popsicles, broth. I think I fell in love with the Popsicles because that's what I kept asking for and they helped with the hunger pangs. I was just enjoying my time, peaceful, quiet relaxed, just watching TV. Everything was smooth sailing.</div><div align="justify"> That didn't last long. Somewhere around 11pm was when the contractions where starting to become horrible. I never felt pain like that in my life. I tried moving around to see if it helped, it did a little bit. The nurse had given me something for the pain and I don't remember what it was but it made me feel really drowsy and light-headed but fortunately I was able to get some sleep. When I woke up about an hour or two later, I had reached my breaking point, my contractions were so painful. I was in tears because the pain was so unbearable. Its like I didn't even get a break to breathe between contractions because they where about a minute apart. The doctor didn't wanna give me an epidural then because it would slow down my labor and was making slow progress as it was. That's when it was really hard for me and not having someone there. Yes I was by myself throughout my labor, which wasn't bad in the beginning but I felt like I really needed someone there then just to hold my hand or just to lean on. It probably would have made me feel a lot better.</div><div align="justify"> Around 4:30-5am, my hero (anesthesiologist) came to my rescue. I'm not gonna lie, the epidural did hurt a bit. I guess when you're not used to any needle going into your back yea its gonna hurt. Plus having to sit thru a painful contractions while they are doing doesn't make it any better but boy did I feel so much better afterwards. My legs felt like bricks, but thats better than the pain I was feeling. After that I had a really good sleep. </div><div align="justify"> Around 7 am, my doctor (one who I haven't met before since she was on maternity leave when I first came to the office and wish I would have met her sooner) checked me. I was about 5 cm dilated. She broke my water to see if it would help dilate me faster. She came back about 2 hours later to see how I was doing, and I only dilated less than a centimeter and told me that the baby wasn't handling the contractions very well, that his heart dropped a little every time I had a contraction. Also that his head was more on one side instead of centered which was causind me to thin out more on one side than the other. So she said the best way to dleiver the baby was by c-section. I was a bit excited because I knew i didn't have long til I saw my baby's face but then I was nervous at the time and started crying because I really didn't wanna have a c-section but it was gonna happen whether I wanted it to or not. He wasn't coming out the natural way. </div><div align="justify"> They started to prep me around 11:30am-12pm. They had to up the strength of my epidural where I wouldn't feel anything from my neck down. I had the funniest anesthesiologist ever. He was hilarious but it was comforting at that time since I was a bit scared. It helped calm my nerves. i was rolled into the OR at 12:30pm, and I felt that I was gonna have a panic attack. One it was REALLY cold in the room and I was shivering. And before I knew it they started my c-section. It wasn't that bad. I didnt feel anything except a lot of pressure when they where pulling him out. That was a bit uncomfortable. But all that pain went away when I heard him crying and I saw his face. The doctor said that he was looking straight up at the ceiling when he came out. So it was good that I had a c-section because it would of been really dificult to push him out if he was faced up like that. I started crying. It was such a relief to finally know it was all over. The nurse brought my baby over so I can see him up close and give him a kiss. He was so handsome and look just like his mom. </div><div align="justify"> I finally got to hold him once I was back in my room and it was the most amazing feeling ever. Looking down at this little guy and not believing that he is actually mine. I was the happiest woman in the world. I don't think it really has sunken in yet still. That I'm actually a mom. Even though it can be rough at time, I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. I thank Allah each and everday for my little boy. He is truly a remarkable gift and blessing from Allah SWT.</div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-13428472638851554752009-10-12T20:54:00.002-04:002009-10-12T21:08:44.879-04:00He is Finally HereAfter all the waiting, the little one has finally arrived, even though he had to be forced out. I was induced Thursday afternoon around 1 pm. and didnt deliver until the Friday afternoon. I was basically in labor for 24 hours and ended up having a c-section, which actually wasn't as bad as I thought. Reason why: baby wasn't handling the contractions very well. Everytime I had one his heart rate would drop a little. Then when he was born the doctor found he was face up, which makes it harder for them to come out. Plus he had a big head lol, just like his mom.<br /> Anyway here are his stats:<br /><br />Zayd Ahmad<br />Born Friday Oct 9, 2009<br />Weight: 8 lbs (big baby)<br />Length: 21 inches<br />Looks just like his mommy<br /><br />I couldn't be an happier.<br /><br />More details to come.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-4454193153333364522009-10-06T14:11:00.003-04:002009-10-06T14:27:22.584-04:00I'm Still PregnantLets see...I'm 6 days past my due date and no baby yet. It's getting a little tiring but I know majority of babies come later than expected. They don't call it an estimated due date (EDD) for nothing. Waiting is just the worse part. But insha'Allah he'll come when he is ready, even though it seems like he doesn't. I guess my little boy is too attached to his mother.<br /><br /> I had a doctor's appointment yesterday since I missed my appointment last Thursday. I had to do a nonstress test (NST) since Im past my due date. They hook you up to a fetal monitor to check the baby's heartbeat and movement. His heartbeat was good but he decided he didn't wanna move. I was there for an hour and I think he moved once, which really wasn't good. Then the doctor had checked me and still no change, still I cm dialated then he said that my cervix is pitiful. What a way to make a pregnant woman feel better. Then I got kinda nnoyed because he started to say things like my actual due date was Oct. 2 and that it would be cynical to induce me. Now the last doctor who saw me said that they didn't want me to go past 41 weeks and wanted to induce me by today. So its like Im hearing to different stories and its confusing the hell outta me. Everyone is saying something different. Thats the part I hate about seeing doctors in a group practice. You never see the same doctor and everyone seems to think a different way.<br /><br /> Well anyway, after the NST, the doctor sent me over to the hospital since the test was inconclusive, so they can continue the test, which he said can sometimes take a few hours and to do a biophysical profile, which basically is a sonogram to make sure the baby is okay. Once I got to the hospital, the little one started to move around and was more active than before. Im guessing that he didnt like the doctor, just like I didn't. Smart boy. So we both have a clean bill of health alhamdulillah. At least its reassuring to know that he is still thriving. I was kinda hoping that they would of kept me and induced my labor but for know its best if mr. baby stays put. He'll come when he is ready (insha'Allah Im hoping its this week), even though it is a bit stressful because Im still in the same situation as I wrote about a few post ago. It's just the Qadr of Allah SWT.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-34634632391832454842009-09-25T14:36:00.002-04:002009-09-25T14:50:14.352-04:00Just An UpdateAlhamdulillah, Ive been doing well. Baby still hasn't come yet. It seems like he is gonna turn into an October baby. My due date is 5 days away and Im trying patiently to wait. I really wanna get this over with. I know people say its easier to take of a baby while its still in the womb than outside but I rather be able to see and hold my baby.<br /> <br /> Its not like Im getting any sleep as it is. I get like 4 hours of sleep a day if Im lucky. Every way I try to lay is really uncomfortable and then I get really hot even with the air on. Also waking up 10 times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom isn't fun either. I still try to do things like cook and clean to keep myself busy but I can only do so much but I hate seeing dishes in the sink too. Like the other morning I woke up for fajr couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up made breakfast, watched a little tv and thought I could fall back asleep.<br /><br />WRONG.<br /> <br /> I ended up washing dishes, cleaning out drawers reorganizing my dresser, refolded baby clothes for the umpteenth time, cleaned mirrors, tried to sweep. I looked like a crazy woman at 8 in the morning. But hey what can you do?<br /><br /> My 39th week check-up was yesterday and it was a bit disappointing. Last week when they checked me I was 1cm dialated and 40% effaced (thinned out). This nothing has changed. I was hoping to be further along. I wanted to cry when I got home. My doctor said it seems like my little guy is being stubborn and he likes it a bit too much inside. He is already growing so big. They estimate that he is over 7 pounds now and who knows if he's not born anytime soon he might be 8.<br /><br /> So, the doctor said if I dont into labor by my due date: September 30, that they are going to induce me that Monday October 5th. I kinda don't wanna be induced, I've heard it to be a bit more painful since they stimulate contractions and they tend to come a bit faster (my answer to that: Epidural please!!) but because of a certain situation the earlier I have the baby the more time I'll have to recover before I travel. We'll see what happens. Keep me in your duas.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-49189847165126643122009-09-20T08:00:00.002-04:002009-09-20T08:04:31.664-04:00Eid MubarakWishing you and your family Eid Mubarak. May Allah bless all of you on this day and make this day a joyous day. Taqabbal Allahu minna wa minkum (May Allah SWT accept our good deeds) Ameen.<br /><br />8**Sorry I haven't been around much lately, just preparing for the arrival of the little one which is any day now. Insha'Allah he'll come today, which would be good alhamdulillah.***Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-75422819500477706482009-09-04T23:56:00.005-04:002009-09-05T00:20:50.636-04:00Just When Everything Seemed to Be Going Smoothly<div align="left"> I've been so stressed lately. 9 months pregnant and stress, not a really good combination. Things have just been really hard. I'm really looking forward to the birth of my son but now it seems like everything is becoming an inconvenience or might I say how I really feel, I'm the one being an inconvenience. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> You think I would have a grasp of expect the unexpected, especially being pregnant you never know what could happen. Alhamdulillah the baby and I couldn't be any healthier but once the baby is born my life is gonna be one roller coaster ride. The person that Im with right now (lets call them A) has to leave out of the country on October 12th for a really important family situation, we're talking court dates and all that lovely legal stuff., for 2 months. Now my due date is September 30th but how many women really give birth on their actual due date, like 2 percent? I could have the baby anytime from now til a week after my due date. Once A leaves Im gonna be here all by myself for 2 months which is gonna be impossible just after giving birth. I don't know anyone here where I live at and none of my family is close by at all. Then the harder part is that I don't drive yet, I only have my permit so I wouldn't be able to get around. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> So here's where the diffuculty beings: I would go to NY and have the baby there, where my family is at but my insurance won't cover me while Im in NY. Major problem. I could apply for insurance in NY but it would take too long for it to be approved and I would most likely have the baby waaaay before then and that wouldn't help. It's too much of a risk not having insurance and something happening to me or the baby, Allah forbids.</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> Second option would be to wait til I have the baby, then go to NY and stay there for the 2 months. Problem: I have no idea when the baby is gonna be born and I can't be induced before my due date so it's cutting it close. Plus how am I gonna travel after giving birht and with a newborn baby. How do I know if I'm gonna have a normal vaginal birth or a c-section? If I have a c-section, there's no way I can travel right afterwards. Plus it puts the baby's health at risk. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> Third option, is to find someone here to stay with or someone who could help me out here. I do have a friend who lives here but she's over an hour away and she's become extremely unreliable and our friendship has kinda strayed somewhat. Also, could I really trust anyone who is here? I'm not saying that Muslim sisters here can't be trusted but we all have somewhat of a trust issue, especially me. I try to keep a bit of distance until I can trust someone. I would have to fully rely on this person to make sure I can take my son to the doctor and get the things I need. If they fail on me, I would be in a serious predicament and I can't let that happen especially with my son. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> I feel like Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's like what do I do? Which option would be less risky, all of them are risky. I just wanted the last month of my pregnancy to be stress free and uncomplicated but now Im faced with some difficult choices. I just don't know what to do except make dua, hope for the best, and stay positive. Everything happens by the will of Allah and he never puts us through anything we can't bear, even though it feels a bit unbearable at times but Im trying to remain strong. Insha'Allah, Allah will guide me to what is best. I just ask to keep me in your duas that this situation works out for the best.</div>Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-51876836313292036842009-08-31T14:39:00.002-04:002009-08-31T14:43:02.395-04:00If I Only KnewI wish they would tell you before you get pregnant that sleeping comfortable in the last trimester is impossible. I don't think I've had a good night's rest in weeks. The only real sleep I get is any naps that I might get during the day. Its frustrating. Its making me moody, depressed, and everything in between. And they say rest up before the baby comes because they'll be no such thing as sleep. If only I could. I guess by the time I give birth Im gonna be a complete zombie. So if you see me blogging nonesense just know that I may be sleepwalking.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-3858881321970996312009-08-23T20:43:00.002-04:002009-08-23T20:52:48.749-04:00Day 2 of RamadanAlhamdulillah Ramadan is going pretty good. Yesterday it really didn't feel like it to me. I guess Im really used to being at the masjid around this time or having iftar with a lot of people. For nos its been peaceful and quiet since Im home mostly by myself. I guess also since Im not fasting, the reality hasn't really set in.<br /> I know of few pregnant women who do fast but being a little over 34 weeks Ive opted out. For one if I dont eat on a regular basis, I get severe headaches and nausea. Even if I don't drink water, I feel my body really slowing down. I wish I could fast but right now the health of me and my baby are important. Plus my doctor has advised me not too especially since Ive already lost a pound within a week and thats with barely moving and eating. Its too risky. In all honesty, Im not looking to make up the whole month, but I know I have to. In due time I will and insha'Allah Allah will make it easy for me.<br /> Insha'Allah, I pray that Allah(SWT) make all of your fast easy on you and accept all of them. Keep me in your duas.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-80611768926370954712009-08-22T13:26:00.001-04:002009-08-22T13:27:25.400-04:00Ramadan MubarakWishing you all a very blessed Ramadan. May Allah (SWT) accept our fast and duas.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-41586428973160428872009-08-21T14:18:00.003-04:002009-08-21T14:37:22.499-04:00You Wouldn't Believe What HappenedWell yesterday started off as a normal, regular day. I had a doctor's appointment in the morning, everything was well. I came home and relaxed. Around 7 I had went on a hospital tour of the maternity ward. Pretty interesting huh?! After I was home, prayed my salaat. I wasn't feeling too good so I was laying down in my room until I got hungry and went downstairs in the kitchen to eat.<br /> It was a pretty bad thunderstorm. You can hear the lightining striking every few seconds. So I was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating my dinner. Right when I finished, I started to take sip of my apple juice and outta no wear you hear this big boom, see this flash of light and the next thing I knew I felt a big shock go up my right foot into my leg. The cup dropped from my hands and I screamed. At first I really didn't no what happened. I was kinda in a state of shock (no pun intended). It took a while to register what had happened. My foot and my leg were hurting pretty bad at first then I just shook it off. I thought I was fine. Then I was checking to see if the baby was moving since he was moving right before it happened. I monitored his movement for about an hour and didn't feel anything so it had me really worried. I called the doctor and she told me to go to the ER to be checked out.<br /><br />So at 12 mid, I made my way to the ER. They had me hooked up to fetal monitors, making sure I didn't have any burns. Alhamdulillah, the baby and I are ok. The baby is healthier than ever and I couldn't be happier. I didn't get home til almost 5 in the morning but at least Im ok.<br /><br /> Right now Im just kinda laughing at what happened, even though it really isn't a laughing matter. It's more like did I really get shocked by lightining?! I mean how many people do you know that has happened too. Also what's funny is that I just toured the labor and delivery floor and now I got a personal tour. This time instead of looking at everything from afar I got to test it out. Can't beat that huh?<br /><br /> Well now I know when its a really bad thunderstorm dont eat your dinner at a rod iron table on a tiled floor barefoot that just makes you the perfect conductor. Boy do I have a story to tell my son when he gets older, insha'Allah. Maybe he might come out with a mohawk or a lightining bolt scar on his forehead like Harry Potter lol. But its definitely something to remember.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-52841163276027896802009-08-20T14:20:00.002-04:002009-08-20T14:25:36.069-04:00Baby UpdateI had my 34 week check-up today and alhamdulillah my little munchkin and I are doing well. I also passed my glucose test YAY!! That was good news to hear. Baby's heartbeat is nice and strong, it should be with all the moving he does. He is already head down just waiting til the big day and breaking my pelvis in two at the same time. One funny thing is that I lost one pound. The doctor said its completely normal to lose a few pounds at this stage. So that's one less pound to carry around, not like it makes a big difference just one down 25 more to go.<br /> I keep having this weird dream where my water breaks while at Eid prayer. Maybe Im just being paranoid but that would be a great story to tell if it did. Allahu alim.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-88015932218162787622009-08-19T13:58:00.002-04:002009-08-19T14:14:50.140-04:00Ramadan is approachingTime is flying by so fast. Last Ramadan seems like it was only yesterday and now its here again. In all honesty I don't know if Im really prepared for it. I guess this year will be a lot different than last year.<br /> Last Ramadan was pretty good alhamdulillah. I was single and working, which didn't interfere with my fasting. The great part about my job was that I only worked about 3 days a week so I was still able to be in the masjid on my days off and had a lot of time to read and pray. I always loved being in the masjid. At the time, it was so much better than being home. It felt great being around other Muslim sisters. I definitely made a lot of new friends and was able to see old friends. That sisterhood and togetherness is what I loved so much and I guess that's what I love about every Ramadan.<br /> This Ramadan most likely is gonna be a bit different. For one, Im 8 1/2 months pregnant, so I wont be able to fast. It's kinda a bummer, some might say Im lucky, but I'd still have to make up all those days afterwards. At least now I can focus on doing more optional salaat, du'a, reading Qur'an. Another thing that kinda bothers me is that I just moved to a complete new state so I don't really know anyone besides one person. I haven't been to the masjid at all, mostly because everytime I had the intention on going I ended not feeling well. Also the masjid closest to my house is pretty small so only the brothers go there. The other masjid is about 30 mins. away and at this time I don't like traveling too far from home unless I necessarily have to.<br /> I've always wanted to have one big iftaar every week and invite a lot of sisters over. Especially now since I have a lot of space in my new home it would be absolutely perfectI always have the intention to cook but my body really limits me nowadays from doing any hardwork. So really my intentions for this Ramadan is just too take it easy and just focus on my deen. What better way could you spend Ramadan?Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1319505753948309550.post-47540301160355378222009-08-13T14:13:00.002-04:002009-08-13T14:19:52.889-04:00All is Well For NowI had my glucose screening test today. Wasn't too bad I suppose. Well having to drink that nasty stuff was the worse part for me. And to my surprise the nurse asked me which flavor I wanted, fruit punch or orange? Im like wow I get to pick my poison, fun. Like one was suppose to taste better than the other?! I stuck with orange which tasted like flat orange soda mixed with something that I can't even describe. All I know is that my baby got a good sugar rush from it. He was kicking and squirming the entire 3 hours I was there at the office. He is usually quiet that time of morning but I guess you give a high dosage of sugar to anyone and they'll be up and moving too.<br /><br />Anyway I'll find out Monday if I have GD or not. If I do I'll get a call around 12 noon, if I don't no call. Kinda weird isn't it but oh well. Insha'Allah I won't receive a phone call, but if I do I'll be prepared for it.Yasmin (Umm Zayd)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12025820364516679321noreply@blogger.com0