To Take or Not to Take?

I've been debating the issue of whether or not to take birth control. I am to be married soon, inshaAllah and Ive discussed it with my future husband(actually ex-husband) and we decided that we do not want children right away and if it is the will of Allah.And no I'm not being pessimisstic in anyway. I don't go into a marriage thinking it isn't going to work. If I have my doubts in the beginning I just don't do it. Anyway, the reason being to really establish our relationship and that of out son's and our whole family dynamic. I have an appointment coming up with my doctor and I am going to discuss my options with her. It is a bit confusing all the birth control mumbo jumbo and so many different kinds, you have the combination pill, mini pill, the patch, pills with low estrogen, etc, etc, that its kind of hard to choose. I guess you just choose the one that is best for you and your situation. Like I plan, inshaAllah to have another child in the near future, I don't really like taking pills and have a habit of forgetting to take them, but considering the other options I think the pill be best(I'm not getting an IUD insert,and noway am I going to insert something up there and then have to fish out later). Now the next thing is which pill:combo or mini. Just in short and without having to go into so much detail(you can look it up for yourself)the combination pill contains estrogen and progesterone and.The mini pill has just progesterone in it and very small amounts of estrogen.

As for the Islamic viewpoint on it, its a bit controversial. Some ulema say its not allowed at all, that the purpose of marriage is to have children. According to others, it isn't allowed just to be a convienience but there has to be some need for it like the mother's health might be jeopardized by another pregnancy and just out of plain necessity. For the full fatwa click here .

Now to me the best spacing for kids is two years for this gives your body enough time to somewhat "heal" from the last pregnancy, especially if you've had a c-section. Trust me it really throws your body out of whack. I still feel like Im recooperating in someway. Anyway what are your thoughts?

If You Had 24 Hours

****This was from a couple of weeks ago and I just realized I didn't post it.***********

My mother had turned on the radio early this morning and they were talking about the tsunami that hit Japan. They were discussing what they would do if they only had 24 hours to live. Some the responses were I would all my favorite food, throw the party of my life and go out with a bang. One was really appalling saying if I was still a virgin I would lose my virginity. SubhanAllah. Really? If you knew that you were going to die in 24 hours, that is what you would do?

Wouldn't you want to be supplicated asking Allah for forgiveness, to praise Him, to ask Him to have mercy on you? This comes to show how people are so blinded by the life of this world and all its charms. They have become so wrapped up in the materialistic things of this dunya and forget about their creator

The time and place of our death are known to none except Allah (SWT). This is part of the wisdom of Allah. If we knew when we were gonna die, we would be more focused on or worship to Allah. But this life is a test and knowing that would make things too easy. This is why we need to make sure that we make dhikr, du'a and more ibadah each and everyday for we never know when Allah will call us back to Him. So remind yourself everyday, what have I done to secure my akhira?

My Latest Obsession

The past few months Ive been very much into henna. I have had it done a few times throughout the years but this time around I wanted to learn how to do it myself. One website which really gives you the basics is hennapage.com. They have a lot of resources and breaking down all that pertains to henna, applying it, how to mix it, aftercare, designs, etc.

Right now it is just a hobby that I enjoy. It really helps me to be creative and definitely relaxing as I can have some me time away from everyone else. I want to inshaAllah one day to take classes. One sister has online classes she teaches which aren't expensive at all and I love her work. MashaAllah she just opened her new store in Portland Oregan. Check her out at freehandmehndhi.com. She also has a youtube channel as well.

Another artist I really admire is Jamilah Zebarth of Jamailah Henna Creations. From my knowledge she has been doing henna for a long time and has her own design book. Her style is more floral designs, which are beautiful and girly. She is also a niqabi :)

This design is inspired by Jamilah, done by Henna by Heather, whose designs I also love.

Not Every Muslimah Who Wears An Abaya is Arab

I was asked this question the other day by a Yemeni sister-Min Maghrebi?. It roughly means are you Moroccan/from Morocco? I replied no, I am American (La, Amreeki). She had a surprised look on her face like you are American yet you wear abaya and can speak Arabic? Alhamdulillah I've been blessed to have study Arabic from when I was very young til my teen years. I can't fully speak Arabic. I can understand way more than I can speak it and I can't understand certain dialects. From what some people tell me Yemeni Arabic is the hardest to understand. I had to get used to Khaleeji Arabic with -ich like kayf 7alaich? I learned fusha or proper Arabic if you can call it and every Arab country has their own dialect.

Anyway, I've been asked many times if I am either Moroccan or Egyptian. To myself I don't really look it. To give a bit of a background on my ethnicity, from my mother's side, both of her parents are from the South. My grandmother is half native American and African American. My grandfather is African American and ancestry is from West Africa. Also there is some Irish mixed in there. On the paternal side, my grandfather is 100% Native American, while my grandmother, well all I can tell you she is from Oklahoma. From that I just consider myself basically American with African roots.

I see that a lot of people, not only Arabs, would think a woman who wears an abaya is assumed from the Middle East or North Africa. They think she knows Arabic and her whole family is from there. I guess this more or less goes for the sisters who they can't really tell where they come from or look a little more "exotic" if I may say. When you tell them otherwise, some of them won't believe you like you are trying to hide that you are. From other experiences with people who are from Western countries who go to Arab countries, who aren't of Arab descent and dress like the locals, its hard for the locals to fathom that woman outside of that country, mainly in the US, Canada, wear abaya.

The abaya is considered to be something that is cultural to those of Middle East, so a lot of people wonder why a lot of Muslim women who aren't from that region wear it. The reason I wear an abaya, no I am not trying to Arab or anything like that, is because to me and many other sisters, it is the easiest option that fulfills the requirement of proper hijab. It is loose and covers the body without showing your adornements or the shape of your body. Honestly what modern form of dress really does that in this day and age of the skinny jeans and body hugging clothes. I'm not saying that a long shirt. tunic with a skirt aren't proper hijab, but my opinion is that of the abaya and Allah knows knows best.

As for the lesson, not every woman who wears an abaya is Arab or speaks Arabic nor does every Arab wear abaya (as is seemed to believe)-actually most of the Arabs that I know don't even wear hijab and are Muslim.