Saturday, January 22, 2011

Putting My Last Post into Practice

A few days ago the very thing I posted about last time was really put to the test. My brother and I had gotten into a huge argument over stupidity and started to say things about me that were really disrespectful. I ignored it at first but what really pushed me over the edge when he said something about my son and even went far to cursing Islam. I became so angry.
When it comes to me people can say what they want to say. Ive heard the whole terrorist thing, muslim women are oppressed, or as according to my brother you are just part of a cult and you sit on the floor with your little friends chanting, I've heard it all. I usually ignore the people who are completely ignorant of Islam. I will usually take that as an excuse. But someone who was raised upon Islam and knows good well what it is about and says something an ignorant person might say, then I get angry and mostly upset.
Something else happened that was dumbfounding but I just don't have the heart to repeat. It makes me take a long good look at my family and really wonder what in the world has happened. I feel like I am not from them, like I came from somewhere else or Im the convert. I was raised in a pretty good Muslim household that followed the Qur'an and Sunnah. Now when the Qur'An or Sunnah is mentioned peoples desires take over and what Islam says is tossed out the window. But the funny thing is that someone is trying to reprimand the other with what the Qur'an says but you yourself isn't adhering to that. Does that say hypocrisy?
I haven't spoken to my brother since it happened. I'm just tired of talking sometimes because I know I'm talking to the wall. I haven't openly forgiving him because Im just not ready to.Every time I see him it just upsets me. I guess have to reread my last post. I love and care about my family and I pray that Allah forgives them for what they do and forgives for anything I might have done.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Never Give Up on People

The past 2 years have been such a roller coaster for me. I have come a long way and learned a lot of things about myself and others. I learned who my real friends are, who to trust, who to let go, how not to be to hard on myself, to give things time and most importantly how to forgive.
Sometimes forgiveness is the hardest things to do, especially when someone has done something so wrong to you and hurt you down to your core. Most of us hold onto the things that happen and it starts to consume us and it becomes you. Forgiveness isn't easy but it is important in order to live a normal and sane life.
I know I have a habit of forgiving someone and just removing them from my life forever without any explanation and calling it a day and not giving them a chance. This time around in my life I took the other way. I forgave a long time ago and just see what time will tell and alhamdulillah everything and everyone is coming around. Sometimes we go through hard times in our life and can't see things clearly, we act in certain ways that is out of character and it takes a while before we realized what we done. To be more specific without going into too much detail is the situation with me and my son's father. We have been to hell and back but now we are starting to see things in a different light and starting to understand each other and things are so much better. I guess what we had to do was to really forgive each other and forget about the past (that's the key, not holding on to the past) and try to move forward. I never really gave up on us even after all the things we have gone through. You give them time and see if they will change for the better. And we both changed for the better. InshaAllah the second time around might work.
So the lesson for today is: Allah SWT is forgiving, so we should be forgiving to others as well no matter what it is.

Friday, January 7, 2011

A New Me

AsSalaamu Alaikum fellow bloggers, I am still around and I haven't forgotten about you. Life can take a hold of you to the point where you can't find the time to do anything. Alhamdulillah I have the time now so I decided why not blog.
My son and I have been doing well. He is a normal toddler running around, getting into anything possible, and Im enjoying every minute for it. Life is still the same. Still trying to find the right direction to take with Allah's guidance. InshaAllah I'll get there. I trying to take a fresh and clear approach to things. Im taking the time to take more me time whenever I can. I know many moms feel guilty when they aren't always there with their children but in order to the best for them you have to take care of yourself. So Ive been trying to get healthier, eating a little better than I have been, taking longer walks, things like that and alhamdulillah Im starting to see the difference. I'm less moody and anxious, I have more energy and don't feel too lazy throughout the day. I have also
taken the time to work on my ibaada, to make more du'a, read more Qur'an in such, basically working on my relationship with Allah SWT because without that we are all lost. Im also making it a goal to memorize Juz Amma (Part 30 od the Qur'an). Im ten surahs short. Ive just fully memorized Surah Buruj and I feel pretty proud. One thing I also learned is to read Qur'an to your children. The other day I was reading to my son and then later in the day he was sitting in the floor and he was like mumbling to himself and it was like he was trying to recite. Then the next day he was holding my Qur'an and doing the same mumbling voice. Mash'Allah how kids learn. They mimic what we see, so we have to be good examples for them. That's how I learned many surahs from my father reciting. Insha'Allah my son will follow in my footsteps.