Here's My Story

I had went to the doctor on Thursday Oct 8th @, after hearing conflicting views on whether I was gonna be induced or not, to get a second opinion from one of the other doctors. I was lucky to get an appointment so fast and didn't have to wait til the following week. So the did the NST again and for the second time Mr. baby didn't really cooperate. The doctor had checked me and I had dilated to 2 cm and was 70% effaced. A big difference a couple of days make. So my doctor told me that she was gonna go ahead and induce me since I was past 41 weeks. I wanted to jump up and hug her (but didn't). I was excited and nervous at the same time.

So I made my way over to the hospital. around 12 pm. Good thing the hospital and the doctor's office are connected, so I didn't have to walk far. I just smoothly made my way to L&D, they told me what room I was in, came in the room, met my nurse (who was oh so sweet), changed, took my vitals, answered a million and one question, had my IV put in (which was nearly painless), and was started on pitocin to start my contractions.

For awhile I was absolutely fine. I wasn't in any pain, which surprised my nurse because on the monitor my contractions where jumping off the chart. It was that way for a few hours. Around 7pm that's when they started to pick up just a little bit. The pain wasn't bad just a bit uncomfortable. Nothing I couldn't breathe thru. My nurse was the sweetest woman ever always asking me if I needed anything and making sure I was comfortable. I really couldn't eat anything. I was put on a clear liquid diet in where I can only drink water, juice and eat light things like crackers, Popsicles, broth. I think I fell in love with the Popsicles because that's what I kept asking for and they helped with the hunger pangs. I was just enjoying my time, peaceful, quiet relaxed, just watching TV. Everything was smooth sailing.

That didn't last long. Somewhere around 11pm was when the contractions where starting to become horrible. I never felt pain like that in my life. I tried moving around to see if it helped, it did a little bit. The nurse had given me something for the pain and I don't remember what it was but it made me feel really drowsy and light-headed but fortunately I was able to get some sleep. When I woke up about an hour or two later, I had reached my breaking point, my contractions were so painful. I was in tears because the pain was so unbearable. Its like I didn't even get a break to breathe between contractions because they where about a minute apart. The doctor didn't wanna give me an epidural then because it would slow down my labor and was making slow progress as it was. That's when it was really hard for me and not having someone there. Yes I was by myself throughout my labor, which wasn't bad in the beginning but I felt like I really needed someone there then just to hold my hand or just to lean on. It probably would have made me feel a lot better.

Around 4:30-5am, my hero (anesthesiologist) came to my rescue. I'm not gonna lie, the epidural did hurt a bit. I guess when you're not used to any needle going into your back yea its gonna hurt. Plus having to sit thru a painful contractions while they are doing doesn't make it any better but boy did I feel so much better afterwards. My legs felt like bricks, but thats better than the pain I was feeling. After that I had a really good sleep.

Around 7 am, my doctor (one who I haven't met before since she was on maternity leave when I first came to the office and wish I would have met her sooner) checked me. I was about 5 cm dilated. She broke my water to see if it would help dilate me faster. She came back about 2 hours later to see how I was doing, and I only dilated less than a centimeter and told me that the baby wasn't handling the contractions very well, that his heart dropped a little every time I had a contraction. Also that his head was more on one side instead of centered which was causind me to thin out more on one side than the other. So she said the best way to dleiver the baby was by c-section. I was a bit excited because I knew i didn't have long til I saw my baby's face but then I was nervous at the time and started crying because I really didn't wanna have a c-section but it was gonna happen whether I wanted it to or not. He wasn't coming out the natural way.

They started to prep me around 11:30am-12pm. They had to up the strength of my epidural where I wouldn't feel anything from my neck down. I had the funniest anesthesiologist ever. He was hilarious but it was comforting at that time since I was a bit scared. It helped calm my nerves. i was rolled into the OR at 12:30pm, and I felt that I was gonna have a panic attack. One it was REALLY cold in the room and I was shivering. And before I knew it they started my c-section. It wasn't that bad. I didnt feel anything except a lot of pressure when they where pulling him out. That was a bit uncomfortable. But all that pain went away when I heard him crying and I saw his face. The doctor said that he was looking straight up at the ceiling when he came out. So it was good that I had a c-section because it would of been really dificult to push him out if he was faced up like that. I started crying. It was such a relief to finally know it was all over. The nurse brought my baby over so I can see him up close and give him a kiss. He was so handsome and look just like his mom.

I finally got to hold him once I was back in my room and it was the most amazing feeling ever. Looking down at this little guy and not believing that he is actually mine. I was the happiest woman in the world. I don't think it really has sunken in yet still. That I'm actually a mom. Even though it can be rough at time, I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. I thank Allah each and everday for my little boy. He is truly a remarkable gift and blessing from Allah SWT.

He is Finally Here

After all the waiting, the little one has finally arrived, even though he had to be forced out. I was induced Thursday afternoon around 1 pm. and didnt deliver until the Friday afternoon. I was basically in labor for 24 hours and ended up having a c-section, which actually wasn't as bad as I thought. Reason why: baby wasn't handling the contractions very well. Everytime I had one his heart rate would drop a little. Then when he was born the doctor found he was face up, which makes it harder for them to come out. Plus he had a big head lol, just like his mom.
Anyway here are his stats:

Zayd Ahmad
Born Friday Oct 9, 2009
Weight: 8 lbs (big baby)
Length: 21 inches
Looks just like his mommy

I couldn't be an happier.

More details to come.

I'm Still Pregnant

Lets see...I'm 6 days past my due date and no baby yet. It's getting a little tiring but I know majority of babies come later than expected. They don't call it an estimated due date (EDD) for nothing. Waiting is just the worse part. But insha'Allah he'll come when he is ready, even though it seems like he doesn't. I guess my little boy is too attached to his mother.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday since I missed my appointment last Thursday. I had to do a nonstress test (NST) since Im past my due date. They hook you up to a fetal monitor to check the baby's heartbeat and movement. His heartbeat was good but he decided he didn't wanna move. I was there for an hour and I think he moved once, which really wasn't good. Then the doctor had checked me and still no change, still I cm dialated then he said that my cervix is pitiful. What a way to make a pregnant woman feel better. Then I got kinda nnoyed because he started to say things like my actual due date was Oct. 2 and that it would be cynical to induce me. Now the last doctor who saw me said that they didn't want me to go past 41 weeks and wanted to induce me by today. So its like Im hearing to different stories and its confusing the hell outta me. Everyone is saying something different. Thats the part I hate about seeing doctors in a group practice. You never see the same doctor and everyone seems to think a different way.

Well anyway, after the NST, the doctor sent me over to the hospital since the test was inconclusive, so they can continue the test, which he said can sometimes take a few hours and to do a biophysical profile, which basically is a sonogram to make sure the baby is okay. Once I got to the hospital, the little one started to move around and was more active than before. Im guessing that he didnt like the doctor, just like I didn't. Smart boy. So we both have a clean bill of health alhamdulillah. At least its reassuring to know that he is still thriving. I was kinda hoping that they would of kept me and induced my labor but for know its best if mr. baby stays put. He'll come when he is ready (insha'Allah Im hoping its this week), even though it is a bit stressful because Im still in the same situation as I wrote about a few post ago. It's just the Qadr of Allah SWT.

Just An Update

Alhamdulillah, Ive been doing well. Baby still hasn't come yet. It seems like he is gonna turn into an October baby. My due date is 5 days away and Im trying patiently to wait. I really wanna get this over with. I know people say its easier to take of a baby while its still in the womb than outside but I rather be able to see and hold my baby.

Its not like Im getting any sleep as it is. I get like 4 hours of sleep a day if Im lucky. Every way I try to lay is really uncomfortable and then I get really hot even with the air on. Also waking up 10 times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom isn't fun either. I still try to do things like cook and clean to keep myself busy but I can only do so much but I hate seeing dishes in the sink too. Like the other morning I woke up for fajr couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up made breakfast, watched a little tv and thought I could fall back asleep.

WRONG.

I ended up washing dishes, cleaning out drawers reorganizing my dresser, refolded baby clothes for the umpteenth time, cleaned mirrors, tried to sweep. I looked like a crazy woman at 8 in the morning. But hey what can you do?

My 39th week check-up was yesterday and it was a bit disappointing. Last week when they checked me I was 1cm dialated and 40% effaced (thinned out). This nothing has changed. I was hoping to be further along. I wanted to cry when I got home. My doctor said it seems like my little guy is being stubborn and he likes it a bit too much inside. He is already growing so big. They estimate that he is over 7 pounds now and who knows if he's not born anytime soon he might be 8.

So, the doctor said if I dont into labor by my due date: September 30, that they are going to induce me that Monday October 5th. I kinda don't wanna be induced, I've heard it to be a bit more painful since they stimulate contractions and they tend to come a bit faster (my answer to that: Epidural please!!) but because of a certain situation the earlier I have the baby the more time I'll have to recover before I travel. We'll see what happens. Keep me in your duas.

Eid Mubarak

Wishing you and your family Eid Mubarak. May Allah bless all of you on this day and make this day a joyous day. Taqabbal Allahu minna wa minkum (May Allah SWT accept our good deeds) Ameen.

8**Sorry I haven't been around much lately, just preparing for the arrival of the little one which is any day now. Insha'Allah he'll come today, which would be good alhamdulillah.***

Just When Everything Seemed to Be Going Smoothly

I've been so stressed lately. 9 months pregnant and stress, not a really good combination. Things have just been really hard. I'm really looking forward to the birth of my son but now it seems like everything is becoming an inconvenience or might I say how I really feel, I'm the one being an inconvenience.

You think I would have a grasp of expect the unexpected, especially being pregnant you never know what could happen. Alhamdulillah the baby and I couldn't be any healthier but once the baby is born my life is gonna be one roller coaster ride. The person that Im with right now (lets call them A) has to leave out of the country on October 12th for a really important family situation, we're talking court dates and all that lovely legal stuff., for 2 months. Now my due date is September 30th but how many women really give birth on their actual due date, like 2 percent? I could have the baby anytime from now til a week after my due date. Once A leaves Im gonna be here all by myself for 2 months which is gonna be impossible just after giving birth. I don't know anyone here where I live at and none of my family is close by at all. Then the harder part is that I don't drive yet, I only have my permit so I wouldn't be able to get around.

So here's where the diffuculty beings: I would go to NY and have the baby there, where my family is at but my insurance won't cover me while Im in NY. Major problem. I could apply for insurance in NY but it would take too long for it to be approved and I would most likely have the baby waaaay before then and that wouldn't help. It's too much of a risk not having insurance and something happening to me or the baby, Allah forbids.

Second option would be to wait til I have the baby, then go to NY and stay there for the 2 months. Problem: I have no idea when the baby is gonna be born and I can't be induced before my due date so it's cutting it close. Plus how am I gonna travel after giving birht and with a newborn baby. How do I know if I'm gonna have a normal vaginal birth or a c-section? If I have a c-section, there's no way I can travel right afterwards. Plus it puts the baby's health at risk.

Third option, is to find someone here to stay with or someone who could help me out here. I do have a friend who lives here but she's over an hour away and she's become extremely unreliable and our friendship has kinda strayed somewhat. Also, could I really trust anyone who is here? I'm not saying that Muslim sisters here can't be trusted but we all have somewhat of a trust issue, especially me. I try to keep a bit of distance until I can trust someone. I would have to fully rely on this person to make sure I can take my son to the doctor and get the things I need. If they fail on me, I would be in a serious predicament and I can't let that happen especially with my son.

I feel like Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's like what do I do? Which option would be less risky, all of them are risky. I just wanted the last month of my pregnancy to be stress free and uncomplicated but now Im faced with some difficult choices. I just don't know what to do except make dua, hope for the best, and stay positive. Everything happens by the will of Allah and he never puts us through anything we can't bear, even though it feels a bit unbearable at times but Im trying to remain strong. Insha'Allah, Allah will guide me to what is best. I just ask to keep me in your duas that this situation works out for the best.

If I Only Knew

I wish they would tell you before you get pregnant that sleeping comfortable in the last trimester is impossible. I don't think I've had a good night's rest in weeks. The only real sleep I get is any naps that I might get during the day. Its frustrating. Its making me moody, depressed, and everything in between. And they say rest up before the baby comes because they'll be no such thing as sleep. If only I could. I guess by the time I give birth Im gonna be a complete zombie. So if you see me blogging nonesense just know that I may be sleepwalking.

Day 2 of Ramadan

Alhamdulillah Ramadan is going pretty good. Yesterday it really didn't feel like it to me. I guess Im really used to being at the masjid around this time or having iftar with a lot of people. For nos its been peaceful and quiet since Im home mostly by myself. I guess also since Im not fasting, the reality hasn't really set in.
I know of few pregnant women who do fast but being a little over 34 weeks Ive opted out. For one if I dont eat on a regular basis, I get severe headaches and nausea. Even if I don't drink water, I feel my body really slowing down. I wish I could fast but right now the health of me and my baby are important. Plus my doctor has advised me not too especially since Ive already lost a pound within a week and thats with barely moving and eating. Its too risky. In all honesty, Im not looking to make up the whole month, but I know I have to. In due time I will and insha'Allah Allah will make it easy for me.
Insha'Allah, I pray that Allah(SWT) make all of your fast easy on you and accept all of them. Keep me in your duas.

Ramadan Mubarak

Wishing you all a very blessed Ramadan. May Allah (SWT) accept our fast and duas.

You Wouldn't Believe What Happened

Well yesterday started off as a normal, regular day. I had a doctor's appointment in the morning, everything was well. I came home and relaxed. Around 7 I had went on a hospital tour of the maternity ward. Pretty interesting huh?! After I was home, prayed my salaat. I wasn't feeling too good so I was laying down in my room until I got hungry and went downstairs in the kitchen to eat.
It was a pretty bad thunderstorm. You can hear the lightining striking every few seconds. So I was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating my dinner. Right when I finished, I started to take sip of my apple juice and outta no wear you hear this big boom, see this flash of light and the next thing I knew I felt a big shock go up my right foot into my leg. The cup dropped from my hands and I screamed. At first I really didn't no what happened. I was kinda in a state of shock (no pun intended). It took a while to register what had happened. My foot and my leg were hurting pretty bad at first then I just shook it off. I thought I was fine. Then I was checking to see if the baby was moving since he was moving right before it happened. I monitored his movement for about an hour and didn't feel anything so it had me really worried. I called the doctor and she told me to go to the ER to be checked out.

So at 12 mid, I made my way to the ER. They had me hooked up to fetal monitors, making sure I didn't have any burns. Alhamdulillah, the baby and I are ok. The baby is healthier than ever and I couldn't be happier. I didn't get home til almost 5 in the morning but at least Im ok.

Right now Im just kinda laughing at what happened, even though it really isn't a laughing matter. It's more like did I really get shocked by lightining?! I mean how many people do you know that has happened too. Also what's funny is that I just toured the labor and delivery floor and now I got a personal tour. This time instead of looking at everything from afar I got to test it out. Can't beat that huh?

Well now I know when its a really bad thunderstorm dont eat your dinner at a rod iron table on a tiled floor barefoot that just makes you the perfect conductor. Boy do I have a story to tell my son when he gets older, insha'Allah. Maybe he might come out with a mohawk or a lightining bolt scar on his forehead like Harry Potter lol. But its definitely something to remember.