Friday, December 26, 2008

A little visit

Well Im apparently going back to NY for a little visit. It was a bit unplanned but I guess it'll be a good thing. Its like I want to visit but then I dont want to. Ima bit stressed about it. I talked to my mom about it earlier this morning and it was the weirdest thing. You think she would of been jumping for joy since she hasn't seen me in 4 months. But it wasn't like that at all. She was 'Oh Really?!! Why?' What do you mean why? Im your daughter and your my mom, that's why and I haven't seen you in awhile. She was like okay, so I'll just see you when you get here. Then she went on saying happy belated birthday and asked what I did. I told her I don't celebrate birthdays. When I said there was some awkward silence on the phone, she was probably thinking what is wrong with this girl? She was even surprised that I didnt have a cake or any presents. Then what really thru me for a loop was when my mom said Merry Christmas. I'm like wait a minute, what made her say that. Mind you my mother is Muslim and knows we never ever celebrated Christmas, so why say something like that? I was a bit shocked like what the hell is going on? My husband was really shocked by it too. I just didn't understand it.
Now Im a bit uneasy about going. I love my mom to death, but I know how she is. Yes she knows Im remarried and all that and she's good about it. But I could almost hear the comments already about the whole birthday thing, the way Im dressing (boy can't wait to hear what she says when she sees I wear niqab), and that Im becoming extreme. I can hear it 400 miles away. I guess my best bet is to stay outta the house for as long as possible. It's only a week right?! But its gonna seem like a lifetime. I just don't like dealing with my family. Its one of the reasons I left in the first place. Im happy to see my mom but I know there's gonna be a lot of tension and the endless cycle of why you are doing this and why you are doing that, that I just don't wanna deal with right now. We love are parents but sometimes they can give you a headache to. WE are suppose to love them and respect them, which I do, but I don't agree with a lot the things she says and does. May Allah bless her and guide her to what is right.

13 comments:

Empress Anisa said...

InshaAllah, Yasmin, I hope your visit is as smooth as possible. Maybe, just a thought, of trying to aviod her, maybe have a sit down conversation, just you and her and address whatever might be on her mind... that way you clear the air and you won't have any future tension looming in the background. Oh, and address the whole birthday and X-mas thingy as well. You know Moms, maybe she just didn't know WHAT to say to you- of course, I doubt if she meant any disrespect.

And yes, bring your thermals.... Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr lol

Yasmin said...

Yea thats another thing, the weather. When I left NY it was still in the 70s, now I know its freezing and I left all my winter clothes there. Im too used to the warmer weather here. I dont like the cold :(

Inspired Muslimah said...

Yasmin, I wish you luck sis in your upcoming visit to nyc. Insha'allah things will be better for you.

Yasmin said...

Insha'Allah it'll be okay. Im just a bit worried. Ima come to visit you Anisa lol, ur in NYC right? My mom lives in Queens.

erin said...

Same thing happened to me re my mom and xmas... and I am nervous about her reaction if I start wearing niqab... that she would think "Islam is extreme!" but all these topics is a good way to make dawah right? "Argue with them in ways that are best" ~ like, if we approach it from "aha this is my chance!" rather than "Ya Allah I dont wanna deal with this now.." and prepare a very lovely little explanation in a way she can appreciate/understand insha'Allah we would get ajr for it... and the BEST thing ever we could do for our parents is dawah and that Allah would enter them to Islam bithnillah... But I know its not always that easy, but still we need to struggle even when ppl reject our dawah over n over.. never give up n make lots of dua! ~ n I'll make dua for your and your family, hope everything goes smoothly on your trip :)

Yasmin said...

Well Erin, my mother is Muslim and she understands all these things. You think it would be easier, but its not. Ive tried explaining it and she thinks Im taking things too serious. I guess she's too used to the old Yaasmin and figures Ive changed too much. And she doesnt like it. She just doesn't take her deen seriously. It hurts, but insha'Allah she'll learn to accept it and Ill try to talk to her as much as possible without ehr thinking that my husband forced me to do the things I do. Cuz thats what all my family thought when I got married. But I did it for me.

erin said...

Oh sorry I guess the "merry christmas" thing threw me off n I made a wrong assumption! May Allah make it easy for you uhkti ~

*~Ange~* said...

i had to deal with this last year. you just have to be brave and expect all that stuff to come your way. once you get over that hurdle it is easy

Anonymous said...

Does your mum not pray, fast, does she not have good manners? So what do you mean by she doesnt take her religion seriously. We should be careful how we address our parents. Many people could interpret badly thay you have been married 3 times within a year even though your intention might be good.

Yasmin said...

To answer ur question anonymous, actually my mom doesnt do any of those things, she doesnt cover properly, but really thats between her and Allah. I still love my mom and respect her. Thats my guty to her.
And what does me having to be married 3 times have anything to do with it? If u are meaning that my mother is acting that way towards me cuz Ive been married 3 times, sorry I know thats not the case cuz this started years before. So please be a bit clear on what you say

Noor said...

woah . that was harsh. Please be tactful anon.

Empress Anisa said...

Yasmin-

I didn't see you were coming to Queens... give me a holla if u can!Email me cococherokeegirl@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

I was not referring to the way your mother is treating you because of your marriages. You said she is not serious about the deen because she does not cover up, the same could be said about your behaviour towards marriage. The point is only Allah is the judge of who is serious because he knows are our intentions. We all have weak points and we are all sinners.