Tuesday, December 2, 2008

So How Long Is My Iddah?

This has been a question I had since I got divorced. Okay just to make things clear, I was divorced by khula, meaning Im the one who initiated the divorce, why you may ask? Its very complicated. So, I know the iddah of a woman who was divorced by talaaq (when the husband ask for the divorce) is three menstrual cycles.

Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what God Hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in God and the Last Day. ... 2:228

So now what about a woman who was divorce by khula?

From what I read and researched and from asking the Imam, the iddah is one menstrual cycle. Even though the scholars differ on this point, majority of them say its only one month.

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim.

Here's a fatwa from islamqa.com and that I also read in Fataawa Islamiyyah give by Shaykh Ibn Baaz:
If a wife asks her husband for a khula and he accepts, how long is the waiting period?Is it irrevocable i.e can they ever re-marry?

Praise be to Allaah.

If the woman who has been divorced by khula’ is pregnant then her ‘iddah lasts until she gives birth, according to scholarly consensus. Al-Mughni, 11/227.

But if she is not pregnant, the scholars differed concerning her ‘iddah. Most of the scholars said that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, because of the general meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

But the correct view is that it is sufficient for a woman divorced by khula’ to wait for one menstrual cycle, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays, when she divorced him by khula’, to wait out the ‘iddah for one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 946). This hadeeth refers specifically to khula’ divorce whereas the aayah quoted above speaks of divorce in general. But if she waits out an ‘iddah of three menstrual cycles that will be more complete and will be on the safe side, and will avoid an area of scholarly dispute, as some scholars say that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, based on the aayah quoted.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/286.
There is nothing wrong with them remarrying with a new marriage contract.

And here is another one:

Does iddah imply when it is the woman who is seeking the divorce (khula).

Praise be to Allaah.

1 – Khula’ – in principle – can only occur at the request of the wife, and with the husband’s subsequent agreement to end the marriage.
2 – ‘Iddah is obligatory upon every woman who leaves her husband, or whose husband leaves her, whether the cause is talaaq (divorce), annulment of the marriage or the death of the husband, except when the divorce occurs before the marriage has been consummated, in which case the woman does not have to observe ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘Iddah [divorce prescribed period] have you to count in respect of them”[al-Ahzaab 33:49]

3 – With regard to the ‘iddah following khula’, the correct scholarly view is that it is one menstrual cycle, as is indicated by the Sunnah.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim, as we shall see below).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

In the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the woman who ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle, there is evidence for two rulings:

The first is that she does not have to wait for three menstrual cycles, rather one menstrual cycle is sufficient. Just as this is clearly the Sunnah, it was also the view of Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh and her paternal uncle, who was one of the greatest Sahaabah. We do not know of anyone who held a different opinion, as al-Layth ibn Sa’d narrated that Naafi’ the freed slave of Ibn ‘Umar heard al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh ibn ‘Afra’ telling ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that she had ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ at the time of ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, and her paternal uncle had come to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan and said, The daughter of Mu’awwadh ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ today, so should she move (from the marital home)? ‘Uthmaan said, She should move, and there is no inheritance between them, and she does not have to observe any ‘iddah, but she should not remarry until one menstrual cycle has passed, lest she be pregnant. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: and ‘Uthmaan was the best of us and the most knowledgeable.

This view was also shared by Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh and Imaam Ahmad, according to one report narrated from him. It was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
Those who supported this view said: this is in accordance with the principles of sharee’ah. The ‘iddah (in the case of talaaq) was made three menstrual cycles in order to lengthen the time during which the husband may take back his wife, so that the husband will have enough time to rethink the matter and to be able to take his wife back during this time. But in the case of khula’ the wife is not going to go back and the purpose is simply to establish whether she is pregnant or not, so one menstrual cycle is sufficient. They said: this does not contradict the ruling that the ‘iddah for a woman divorced by talaaq is three months. In the case of divorce the ‘iddah is the same whether it is a final talaaq or a revocable talaaq.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/196, 197

Some scholars said that the ‘iddah for a woman who ends her marriage to her husband by khula’ is three menstrual cycles, as in the case of one who is divorced by talaaq, but this was expertly refuted by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, who said:

What indicates that khula’ is not the same as talaaq is the fact that in the case of a revocable talaaq after consummation of the marriage, there are specific rulings which are not applicable in the case of khula’.
1. That the husband has more right to take her back.
2. When the husband issues a talaaq, is it counted as one of three, and after the third it is not permissible for the wife to go back to him until she has been married to another man and that marriage has been consummated.
3. ‘Iddah in the case of talaaq is three menstrual cycles.
So the ‘iddah in the case of khula’ is what is indicated by the Sunnah, namely one menstrual cycle.

And Allaah knows best.

So from my understanding, my iddah is only one month/ menstrual cycle. And Allah SWT knows best. At least that means I can move on sooner than expected. Insha'Allah, may Allah make it easy for me.

*****Edit: I spoke to my Imam and a student of knowledge, and they both said my iddah is only one menstrual cycle. That makes things a bit clearer*******


The Muslim Kid said...

Im sorry, I dont quit understand this idea, system.

Why must you wait,a nd what are you waiting for really, for the divorce to end officially?

-The Muslim kid-

M.J. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Umm Travis said...

I think its best to wait for 3 periods sis, better safe right? Allahu alim.

Also for the MK, generally it is to make sure the women is not pregnant b4 taking on another husband, I think, Allahu alim

Yasmin said...

YEa I guess its best to wait 3 months. I just wanna be outta this situation like now. I mean I dont think you can be wrong either way, whether its a month or 3 months. I believe the hadith that I mentioned is evidence enough to wait one month and Allah knows best.

To answer your question Muslim Kid, the waiting period is prescribed on woman for one, like Umm Travis said, to make sure the woman isn't pregnant before remarrying again since her husband has a right over the child and also so there wouldnt be any confusion to the paternity of the child. Secondly, its a time to see if there can be reconciliation between the spouses and to see if they made a mistake. That way the husband could take his wife back without having to do another marriage contract. Because once her iddah is over, and they wanted to remarry, they would have to do a new mariage contract. Insha'Allah I hope this answers your question. Feel free to ask if you have any other questions and I'll answer it to the best of my ability.

Yasmin said...

Oh yeah, MJ, of course you are allowed to read. Why wouldn't you be :) You should of gotten the invite by now

S. E. Jihad Levine "Sister Safiyyah" said...

As Salaamu Alaikum Dear Sister:

Wait. Take a breath.

Sister, please go to your imam and speak with him. Then follow his advice. Just like there are procedures for the nikah, there are also ones for the divorce - talaq or khula.

Please don't listen to anyone here. Every Muslim's situation is unique. Talk to your imam.

Yasmin said...

Wa alaikum assalaam sis, I have talked to my imam and he said that I only have to wait a month. I even got a second opinion on it and he said the same thing.

hijabee said...

Interesting! I never knew that the waiting period was just one month for khulah subhanallah!

Diali said...

Yasmin, I just discovered your blog and my prayers are with you. May Allah (swt) do what is best for you.
But why don't you make the iddah 3 months...you and your ex might change ur minds and 3 months you will be sure you are not pregnant.
Again, may Allah(swt) do what is best for you

Yasmin said...

Salaam Diali, ameen to your du'a. Well I already know for certain that Im not pregnant and I already feel that we aren't changing our minds. Like I said before, how would I be guarenteed that he wouldn't do this again, whether tomorrow, a year from now, or 2 years. Too many ifs for me and I dont wanna go thru it. Ive given all I can to it and I have no more to give, so its just time to move on. The sooner the better.

Moon said...

Salaams Yasmin,

I also went thru khula and although it was supposed to be just one month i did three months, just to be on the safe side,and i now realize how important it was for me to go thru those three months to completely get over what had happened, and to be internally happy with my decision.

How long you want to do your Iddat is upto you,but emotionally it is better to wait 3months. May Allah guide you as to what is best for you.


Diali said...

Ok Yasmin,
May Allah be with you

Anonymous said...

21 and divorced already? wow.

Umm Ismail said...

Masha allah Yes the Talaq is 3 Menstrual Cycles. I have read the Khula is by the request of the women and Who looses her right to Maintaince were as 3 months the husband has to. any way i thought is 1 Menstrual Cycle for th Khula.

Sunnah is best followed in any action....
the best Speech is that of Allaag Azz wa jal and the best Example is that of the prophet Sallallah alyhi wa salaam.
if there is error in my speech May Allah for give me and let be guided upon what is correct. Ameen

Allahu allim


Anonymous said...

actually,i'm going through the same situation now which is im not pretty sure wether i gotta wait 1month or 3months after my divorce has been carried out.well,the divorce i'm in now is talaq,but i have no more physical contact with him for quiet awhile already and i dont have any boyfriend as well...so,im sure im not pregnant after my divorce...well,im just curious as to which Iddah i should follow...fyi im a moslem convert...

Shabs said...

I have been separated from my husband for 12 months now. I was applying for khula but he agreed that he will give me talaq to speed up the process. He has now 12 months later given me talaq. Can you advise am I still obliged to do 3 months iddat or can I do one month as we have not been together for a year now?

Yasmin (Umm Zayd) said...

It will really depend. If you haven't been together for a year, a one month ocean should suffice but if you want to be on the safe side, the. You can do 3 months. In my opinion, a one month ocean woould probably be easier on you, given the circumstances.And Allah (SWT) knows best. I hope it helps

Shabs said...

Thank you for quick reply. That has helped.

Anonymous said...

As Salamu alaikum, shabs, i know this is old, but i just want to clarify for the sake of anyone else reading it now as i did.
your iddah would have been 3 menstruations,,,not one. it is the method of divorce that will dictate what time length/type of iddah you are following NOT how long ago you and him separated.

Anonymous said...

I jus had my khulla done i hav been seperated from my husband for a year do i hav to do 3 months or 1 month iddat as i want to marry some one else i do not want to liv in sin

Anonymous said...

Khula u can do one month but save side u can do it 3month as Allah pak wrote on chwpter 2 surha Baquara verse. 2.228. Its has to be three month..