Sunday, August 2, 2009

Settling back down

I've been back two days now and trying to settle back into some type of routine. When I was in NY everything was shot to hell, my eating schedule and especially my sleep. It's like the bigger your belly gets during pregnancy the harder it is to sleep. Im normally a stomach sleeper but of course thats out the window. It's like sleeping on a big watermelon now. I've been kept up by night by heartburn, which I never had before in my life until and now I know why its called heartburn. What also drives me a little nuts are these crazy hunger pangs I get early in the morning. Ive been up many of times at 5 in the morning fixing something to eat just to wake up 2 hours later and be hungry again. I don't think Ive ever ate so much in my life. But hey whatever the little one needs I don't hesitate no matter how annoying it may be.
So far I've been having a pretty good pregnancy. It's been a very ttextbook pregnancy nothing out of the ordinary. The baby moves around a lot, I dont have any preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, no swelling at all, no anemia, no serious issue. Ive only been plagued with from time to time bad backaches and fatigue but alhamdulillah its getting better.
The only thing which I found to be odd was that I was a bit depressed from time to time. I had days where all I wanted to do was sleep. I would get irritated and annoyed very easily and for the silliest things. Crying became almost an everyday habit. At times I felt like I wasn't gonna be a good mother or I was in someway hurting my baby and kept apologizing for it. Sometimes I wouldn't wanna talk to anyone and just wanted to be left alone. It got so bad where I couldn't sleep at night and where I would lose my appetite but would force myself to eat. I really thought I was going crazy. I always heard of postpartum depression but never being depressed while you are pregnant. But my doctor said its more normal than I thought, that it happens to a good amount of women. I was a bit relieved by it but the only things is that women who suffer with depression during pregnancy are more likely to develop postpartum depression.
Alhamdulillah Im doing so much better. Fortunately I didn't have to take any anti-depression medication. I just really started to take it easy and spend more time just relaxing and taking things easy. Lots and lots of du'a has helped also. I still cry very easily but what pregnant women doesn't? Im happy and excited and I feel truly blessed and can't wait to meet my little one. Insha'Allah all will be well.

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