Saturday, December 27, 2008
On My Way To The Big Apple
Salaam Alaikum everyone. Im be away for about a week, visiting my family in NYC. I will try to post about how things are going, but I doubt Ima get a chance to. Insha'Allah I'll see you when I get back next week. Keep me in your du'as. Im gonna need them.
Friday, December 26, 2008
A little visit
Well Im apparently going back to NY for a little visit. It was a bit unplanned but I guess it'll be a good thing. Its like I want to visit but then I dont want to. Ima bit stressed about it. I talked to my mom about it earlier this morning and it was the weirdest thing. You think she would of been jumping for joy since she hasn't seen me in 4 months. But it wasn't like that at all. She was 'Oh Really?!! Why?' What do you mean why? Im your daughter and your my mom, that's why and I haven't seen you in awhile. She was like okay, so I'll just see you when you get here. Then she went on saying happy belated birthday and asked what I did. I told her I don't celebrate birthdays. When I said there was some awkward silence on the phone, she was probably thinking what is wrong with this girl? She was even surprised that I didnt have a cake or any presents. Then what really thru me for a loop was when my mom said Merry Christmas. I'm like wait a minute, what made her say that. Mind you my mother is Muslim and knows we never ever celebrated Christmas, so why say something like that? I was a bit shocked like what the hell is going on? My husband was really shocked by it too. I just didn't understand it.
Now Im a bit uneasy about going. I love my mom to death, but I know how she is. Yes she knows Im remarried and all that and she's good about it. But I could almost hear the comments already about the whole birthday thing, the way Im dressing (boy can't wait to hear what she says when she sees I wear niqab), and that Im becoming extreme. I can hear it 400 miles away. I guess my best bet is to stay outta the house for as long as possible. It's only a week right?! But its gonna seem like a lifetime. I just don't like dealing with my family. Its one of the reasons I left in the first place. Im happy to see my mom but I know there's gonna be a lot of tension and the endless cycle of why you are doing this and why you are doing that, that I just don't wanna deal with right now. We love are parents but sometimes they can give you a headache to. WE are suppose to love them and respect them, which I do, but I don't agree with a lot the things she says and does. May Allah bless her and guide her to what is right.
Now Im a bit uneasy about going. I love my mom to death, but I know how she is. Yes she knows Im remarried and all that and she's good about it. But I could almost hear the comments already about the whole birthday thing, the way Im dressing (boy can't wait to hear what she says when she sees I wear niqab), and that Im becoming extreme. I can hear it 400 miles away. I guess my best bet is to stay outta the house for as long as possible. It's only a week right?! But its gonna seem like a lifetime. I just don't like dealing with my family. Its one of the reasons I left in the first place. Im happy to see my mom but I know there's gonna be a lot of tension and the endless cycle of why you are doing this and why you are doing that, that I just don't wanna deal with right now. We love are parents but sometimes they can give you a headache to. WE are suppose to love them and respect them, which I do, but I don't agree with a lot the things she says and does. May Allah bless her and guide her to what is right.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Let It Rain
I actually like the rain, when Im indoors. But right now I feel like just standing in the rain and letting the raindrops wash away all the negativity, all the hurt, all the pain of yesteryears and come back refreshed, revived, and anew.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I'm Feeling Teal
I'm loving this abaya. I love black abayas with a touch of color. I wouldn't wear those shoes unless I was going to a wedding or get together but they are still pretty Enjoy!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
What's for dinner tonight
I'm proud of myself. I actually made a good dinner, make that great dinner. I was a bit nervous since this is my first time ever cooking a Jamaican dish. I need to stop doubting myself because I know I can cook. That's what recipes are for. So what did I make....Brown Stew Chicken and boy was Oh so good. My husband loves Jamaican food, and he really enjoyed it, so did I. It was really, really good, if only you can smell a picture. Here's the recipe if anyone wants to try it: http://www.jamaicatravelandculture.com/food_and_drink/brown-stew-chicken.htm. Happy cooking. What's next on the menu....Curry Lamb.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wearing Niqab Again
Alhamdulillah, Ive made the decision to wear niqab again. And I feel great about it. Since I moved, I'm in a bigger Muslim community so I don't have to worry about scaring anyone or being the only one. I think most of the sisters here do wear it, so I'll fit in just perfectly. I went to the masjid this Friday here and 9 outta the 10 sisters wore it. Masha'Allah, Ive never really seen that. Usually its just one or two here and there.
Also since I bought a few more to add to the one I had. I have 2 flip styles, one single layer, and a 2-layer flip style. I actually like the 1-layer style. I think it suits me best. I'm actually surprise that I bought a Velcro band niqab and it fits my big head-lol. The only thing I don't like about it is that you need to be careful when your putting it on because the Velcro can stick to your hijab and could mess it up, depending on the material.
I went out yesterday and I actually didn't get any weird stares. People were actually friendly. The cashier at the supermarket smiled at me and said have a good day. Maybe people are just used to seeing it nowadays. They weren't fearful at all. Thats a good thing I guess. We'll see what happens, but regardless, Im not taking it off this time around. My niqab is here to stay lol. I never knew why I took it off to begin with. I guess I cared more of what other people thought than what I wanted. Now screw what anyone thinks. If you don't like it you can kick rocks.
Also since I bought a few more to add to the one I had. I have 2 flip styles, one single layer, and a 2-layer flip style. I actually like the 1-layer style. I think it suits me best. I'm actually surprise that I bought a Velcro band niqab and it fits my big head-lol. The only thing I don't like about it is that you need to be careful when your putting it on because the Velcro can stick to your hijab and could mess it up, depending on the material.
I went out yesterday and I actually didn't get any weird stares. People were actually friendly. The cashier at the supermarket smiled at me and said have a good day. Maybe people are just used to seeing it nowadays. They weren't fearful at all. Thats a good thing I guess. We'll see what happens, but regardless, Im not taking it off this time around. My niqab is here to stay lol. I never knew why I took it off to begin with. I guess I cared more of what other people thought than what I wanted. Now screw what anyone thinks. If you don't like it you can kick rocks.
Another Year
Alhamdulillah, I turn 22 today. Im not a birthday person and I don't celebrate it. Please don't jump on me like your being extreme. But the hadith goes, "If you imitate a people, then you are of them." And celebrating birthdays is an imitation of the disbelievers, so I try to avoid it at all cost. Now whoever celebrates it, Im never gonna point my finger and say oh that's haraam!! To each his own and if thats what you wanna do, Im okay with it. There isnt too much harm in it. But thats besides the point. Everyone has their own opinion and I respect it.
Twenty-two years sounds like a long time, but time has flew by so quickly. A lot has changed within the past year. This day last year I was married to my first husband, 2 months pregnant, couldn't stand anything lol, and learning more about my deen. I was a bit naive back then, but I guess we all go thru it. Im just grateful that Im able to see another year and to be who I am. The year before last on this day, I remember clearly. I had to be to wrok at 6am. Talk about early. Then afterwards I went shopping because I was going out later that night with a few friends to have fun on my birthday. Of course, I was wearing something I shouldn't have. I was one of those hijabis who had on the skinny jeans short shirts, and hijab. What the hell was I thinking. I was so into my looks. I always had to have a nails done, i didnt really wear make-up, but my clothes had to be up to par. Looking back, Im just grateful Allah SWT saved me from myself and saved me from the life I was living. That's the greatest gift I have ever received. Im a completely different person now and I wouldn't go back to who I was for nothing. You'd probably have to kill me before that I ever happened.
And the older you get the wiser you become. Im also learning that no matter how many years of preparation you may have, you are still never ready when a certain situation arises. ts why Ive learned to live in the moment and just take everything as it comes. Im not a planner and never really been. I like things of the spontaneous kind. I know I still I have a lot to learn, insha'Allah with each passing year, I can take one step closer to being closer to Allah.
Twenty-two years sounds like a long time, but time has flew by so quickly. A lot has changed within the past year. This day last year I was married to my first husband, 2 months pregnant, couldn't stand anything lol, and learning more about my deen. I was a bit naive back then, but I guess we all go thru it. Im just grateful that Im able to see another year and to be who I am. The year before last on this day, I remember clearly. I had to be to wrok at 6am. Talk about early. Then afterwards I went shopping because I was going out later that night with a few friends to have fun on my birthday. Of course, I was wearing something I shouldn't have. I was one of those hijabis who had on the skinny jeans short shirts, and hijab. What the hell was I thinking. I was so into my looks. I always had to have a nails done, i didnt really wear make-up, but my clothes had to be up to par. Looking back, Im just grateful Allah SWT saved me from myself and saved me from the life I was living. That's the greatest gift I have ever received. Im a completely different person now and I wouldn't go back to who I was for nothing. You'd probably have to kill me before that I ever happened.
And the older you get the wiser you become. Im also learning that no matter how many years of preparation you may have, you are still never ready when a certain situation arises. ts why Ive learned to live in the moment and just take everything as it comes. Im not a planner and never really been. I like things of the spontaneous kind. I know I still I have a lot to learn, insha'Allah with each passing year, I can take one step closer to being closer to Allah.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
5 Things
Tagged by Umm Travis
5 Things I was doing 10 years ago
And anyone else who wants to do it. Have fun!!
5 Things I was doing 10 years ago
- I was 12 years old, God that was a long time ago, does a 12 year old really do that much?
- I was in 7th grade behaving badly with my friends. Those were crazy good times
- Just started taking the train by myself to and from school.
- Rebelling against my mom for moving away from my dad
- Thinking I was grown since I was no longer in elementary school
- Clean, that'll forever be on my list
- Read Qur'an
- SLEEP!!!!
- Eat
- Put away my clothes that have been sitting in my suitcase for the past week.
- Ice Cream, especially Strawberry
- Applesauce, the one with cinnamon
- Chocolate Chip Cookies fresh from the oven
- Cupcakes
- Yogurt
- Build my own house with an enclosed courtyard and indoor swimming pool
- Donate to the masjids and Islamic schools
- Save some money
- Take several vacations a year
- Give money to those who need it
- Brooklyn, NY
- Queens, NY
- North Carolina
- Virginia
- 5th place yet to be occupied
- Sales Specialist, Victoria's Secret
- Volunteer Office Assistant
- Sales Associate, Macy's
- Day Care Assistant
- Tutor
And anyone else who wants to do it. Have fun!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bare with me
Salaams everyone. I know I haven't really posted much. Alhamdulillah I'm fine and if you don't know from my last post but Im actually married right now. Yea thats the big secret. So Im trying to adjust to a new routine and realizing that kids are hardwork, even when they aren't home. Insha'Allah, I'll adjust within the week. Just have to get the swing of things and try to remember that the broom is in the other closet and which cabinet the dishes go in lol. God there's so much to learn. But I couldn't ask for a better life. At least Im constantly busy, which I can't complain about. Hope you all haven't missed me too much. I'll give more details later insha'Allah.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Islamic Survey
Name: Yasmin
Age: 21, bout to be 22 in a couple of days
Location: Some state between NY and VA, USA
Background: African American, Native American, and European
Spouse (if so, name and background): My teddy bear, African American
How long have you been married? Not very long say 72 hours
Kids? None right now, but I have a stepdaughter
Are you a revert? No, but somedays I feel like one.
Have you been to Hajj or Umrah? No, but one day Insha'Allah
How many masaajid have you been to? Way too many to count.
Have you ever been involved with a masjid? Not recently because I keep bouncing around too much.
Who are some of your favorite lectures by? Khalid Yasin, Yasir Birjas, Siraj Wahhaj, Yasir Qadhi
Who are some of your favorite recitors? Mishary Al-`Afasy
Some of your favorite Islamic books? The Wives of the Prophet (SAW), The Sealed Nectar, Stories of the Prophets, and of course The Qur'an.
Describe your most memorable Eid: My most memorable Eids were when I was a child. My parents would by us new clothes and we'd go to the masjid for the Eid prayer and then go out somewhere afterwards. But my favorite Eid was when they had Eid prayer in Prospect Park. To see all those Muslims praying out in the open was a sight to see. SubhanAllah. And then afterwards everyone had a picnic in the park and we got to run around and have a great time with good food and good people.
When did you first start fasting? I think when I was 11, thats when it became wajib on me
When did you start hijab? Since I was 3 years old. I would always wear a hat outisde and in the house, so my mom thought why not put a hijab on her. And Ive been wearing it ever since.
What's your usual outift like when you go out? Abaya, shayla and niqab, the basics.
What do you like about blogging? I love having a place where I can express my thoughts and feelings and reading about other people's lives and experiences. Its crazy how we all can relate to each other one way or another. I also love connecting with sisters all around the world and celebrating in that diversity.
Describe your first feelings wearing hijab
Hijab: Umm...Ive been wearing it since 3 so its become apart of me. I'd feel naked without it. I een sometimes to take it off in the house. Its stuck to me like glue.
Abayah: So this is what Ive been missing?lol. It was so comfortable and chic. Before I started wearing it, I thought you should only wear an abaya to Jumuah. But then it started to become hard to find modest clothes that would cover up certain parts. It made life so much easier. An instant outfit, throw on a matching shayla and shoes, and you're ready to go. I'll never leave home without it
Niqaab: Alhamdulillah, Ive made the decision to wear it again (well I havent really been out the house, so next time I definitely will). I had started wearing it during my first marriage because I got sick and tired of all the little comments like..hey sexy and people staring into my face. I always found niqab to be beautiful, so when I put it on I felt so good. I was in my own little world and I never felt out of place. I thought everyone else around me were the weird ones.
How do you pin your hijab? Basic shayla style. I really hate to pin my hijab under my chin because I feel like its going to choke me. The only time I pin it is if my hijab keeps coming loose or Im wearing a square style hijab, but even then I pin that on the top of my head to because my head looks funny if I leave it down.
What was on the last prayer mat you made salah on? Hmm...it was brown and I cant remember the design. I think it had two columns on it.
What's your ideal iftar? A cold glass of water and dates.
What type of adhaan really gets to you? I can still hear my dad calling the adhaan in my head, even though its been years. It use to give me the shivers. I miss it sooo much.
What's something that annoys you at Jummah: When people start talking during the khutbah or yelling at their kids. Don't you know your not suppose to talk while the khatib is speaking??
What was the last surah you read? (not recited in salah) Surah Yusuf
Do you dry yourself after wudu? Yea I always due, but then I need lotion because my face feels dry afterwards.
Do you brush your teeth for fajr salah? Sometimes.
Whats the last Islamic thing you've been involved with? I cant think of anything right now.
What was the last convention you went to? YEARS ago and I dont even remember what it was about. Thats how long its been.
Have you ever been part of an Islamic matrimonial site? Actually yes. Thats how I met my last husband. Maybe I should have stayed away. But everything happens for a reason.
What color is the rug in the masjid you usually attend? I believe it to be green or was it red. I've only been to the masjid here once.
Is the masjid you usually attend separated? It's one building where the men pray in one room and the women pray in another. And they have separate entrances which I like a lot.
Have you ever stood in a minbar? Yea when I was younger in Islamic school. They had the masjid downstairs and my friends and I were playing around and acting like we were the shaykh giving the khutbah. SubhanAllah I know we were making fun of him. May Allah forgive us.
Have you ever washed a dead body before? No, I dont plan on it. I know I'd be too scared.
What's the last thing you ate in the masjid? Candy lol.
Where's the strangest place you've seen a Muslim working? At a restaurant behind the bar. A Muslim serving alcohol, lovely.
Have you ever posted a flier in the masjid? Never did.
Rate your masjid's bathroom: Haven't seen it yet.
Have you ever used a bidet for istinja?: IS a bidet one of those spray hose things? If so yeah. In school we used them as water guns and sprayed each other with them.
What's the weirdest thing that happened to you in salah? When I was coming up from sujood, my abaya got caught under my feet and ended up ripping my abaya. Luckily it wasn't a big rip, but it sure sounded like one.
Isn't it annoying when the imam tells everyone to shut off their cell phones and someone's phone rings in the middle of salah? Yea. I actually forgot to turn my phone off last jumuah, since I came late and luckily it didnt ring until after prayer was over. Whew!!
What's some of the best halal food you've had (from a non Muslim country)? Oh God, could I name just one. There are so many in NY. Where Im at now, I havent had any yet.
What was it like when you found out skittles were haram? I couldnt let go of the bag because skittles were my favorite candy. I just ended up giving it away to someone.
What's something haram that you think most people don't know? Hmm good question. When I think of one, I'll get back on it.
What's the craziest hijabi fashion you've seen? Oh I just love the super skinny jeans with the tank top and a headscarf. So chic lol (im being sarcastic just in case it didn't come across)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
I've Found the New Me
Salaam Alaikum everyone. I hope that all you had a wonderful Eid. Sorry I've been away for awhile. Ive been soo busy trying to get things done, and kinda vacationing lol. I went to ATL last weeik and I had soo much fun. IT was great to see my friend that I havent seen in such along time. I didnt wanna leave but insha'Allah next time she'll visit me.
Alhamdulillah, Im feeling good and have made a lot of progress. A lot has happened this weekend, but I cant yet share it with you, but I can say it was a big transition. In time I'll say. Im finally away from my ex-husband and it feels oh so good. Im not back in NY, but somewhere else, location undisclosed. Im happy, healthy, and very positive. Surely Allah SWT has answered my du'as. Patience does pay off. My iman is so high right now and insha'Allah it stays that way. This is surely the end of a horrible chapter and the beginning of a new one. I have been able to take the time to analyze myself and what I want outta life. So now I can say Ive figured out what I wanted and my ex-husband never fit into that picture. I guess I was just in denial for a long time, trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed. Alhamdulillah, I don't regret anything that has happened, but I see it as a great blessing. I benefited both of us. We got to see what we both needed and wanted. We got to find our true selves and what made us happy and Im truly grateful for it. So its out with the old and in with the new. And oh yea, my iddah is over, so Im a free woman, for now lol. Im starting a new journey and insha'Allah you'll be there with every step of the way, insha'Allah. May Allah SWT bless you all.
Now I have a lot of catching up to with reading blogs. Hope I havent missed much lol. Love you all
Alhamdulillah, Im feeling good and have made a lot of progress. A lot has happened this weekend, but I cant yet share it with you, but I can say it was a big transition. In time I'll say. Im finally away from my ex-husband and it feels oh so good. Im not back in NY, but somewhere else, location undisclosed. Im happy, healthy, and very positive. Surely Allah SWT has answered my du'as. Patience does pay off. My iman is so high right now and insha'Allah it stays that way. This is surely the end of a horrible chapter and the beginning of a new one. I have been able to take the time to analyze myself and what I want outta life. So now I can say Ive figured out what I wanted and my ex-husband never fit into that picture. I guess I was just in denial for a long time, trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed. Alhamdulillah, I don't regret anything that has happened, but I see it as a great blessing. I benefited both of us. We got to see what we both needed and wanted. We got to find our true selves and what made us happy and Im truly grateful for it. So its out with the old and in with the new. And oh yea, my iddah is over, so Im a free woman, for now lol. Im starting a new journey and insha'Allah you'll be there with every step of the way, insha'Allah. May Allah SWT bless you all.
Now I have a lot of catching up to with reading blogs. Hope I havent missed much lol. Love you all
Monday, December 8, 2008
Is it Lamb or Sheep?
I was wondering earlier about the difference between a lamb and a sheep? Are they the same? They both say Baaa, lol. But I found the answer. A lamb is a baby or young sheep less than 12 months old. Anything older is considered a sheep. So then it got me thinking again, you eat lamb, you never hear anyone say I'm eating sheep, lol (that cracks me up). Well again, the answer to that puzzling thought is that sheep meat is called mutton, while baby sheep is called lamb. Guess, Im having mutton for dinner tonight.
My Eid
Alhamdulillah, today was a prety good day. The morning started off a bit cold, but warmed up. I always seem to wake up earlier than normal on Eid. I think its just the excitement and anticipation of it. Or maybe it might be cause Im still sick. I was up way before fajr, making breakfast, getting everything together. Im just happy I got to wear my pretty abaya. We left a little late but alhamdulillah got there about 10 min. before the started the prayer. I saw a few sisters I know, you know how that goes.
I wasn't planning on going to watch the brothers sacrifice the animals, but I did. I still can't believe that I actually went and that my stomach was able to handle it. It was me and 2 other sisters and their kids. I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. It was a bit funny at first because the sheep were running all around, trying to knock down the gate. But I actually watched it when they slit their throats. It was horrible when they were still moving around afterwards. Then they went to hacking at the sheep. I dont think that was too bad, well yeah cuz I was standing at a distance. So now I have some of it in the oven cooking and all I can hear right now is BAAAA!! lol. We gave some away already and the hubby went to go spend time with some brothers. My Eid will continue tomorrow in ATL with a few friends. Can't wait!! Insha'Allah everyone had a wonderful Eid
I wasn't planning on going to watch the brothers sacrifice the animals, but I did. I still can't believe that I actually went and that my stomach was able to handle it. It was me and 2 other sisters and their kids. I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. It was a bit funny at first because the sheep were running all around, trying to knock down the gate. But I actually watched it when they slit their throats. It was horrible when they were still moving around afterwards. Then they went to hacking at the sheep. I dont think that was too bad, well yeah cuz I was standing at a distance. So now I have some of it in the oven cooking and all I can hear right now is BAAAA!! lol. We gave some away already and the hubby went to go spend time with some brothers. My Eid will continue tomorrow in ATL with a few friends. Can't wait!! Insha'Allah everyone had a wonderful Eid
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Eid Mubarak
I Caught A Cold
Its cold season and its just caught up to me. My head is so congested I cant think properly and I swear Im gonna cough up a lung or two. I never knew my body contained sooo much mucus and it stil keeps on running. Ahh the wonderful human body!! Insha'Allah I'll feel better soon. Hopefully before I go to ATL Tuesday. Yep, another getaway. Don't you just love those??! Ima try fasting tomorrow, thats if my body lets me. I pray Allah gives me the strength.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Purple Fever
Purple Fever by muslimaheyes
I absolutely love the color purple. It really compliments my skin tone. Its my happy color and Im feeling pretty purplish right now. Im not gasping for air or have severe frostbite lol. What do you think?
Abaya from al-ikhlas for $53.00 (actually all there abayas are half off until friday, just enter code "Eid2008" when checking out)
Lace gloves from forever21.com
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
So How Long Is My Iddah?
This has been a question I had since I got divorced. Okay just to make things clear, I was divorced by khula, meaning Im the one who initiated the divorce, why you may ask? Its very complicated. So, I know the iddah of a woman who was divorced by talaaq (when the husband ask for the divorce) is three menstrual cycles.
Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what God Hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in God and the Last Day. ... 2:228
So now what about a woman who was divorce by khula?
From what I read and researched and from asking the Imam, the iddah is one menstrual cycle. Even though the scholars differ on this point, majority of them say its only one month.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim.
Here's a fatwa from islamqa.com and that I also read in Fataawa Islamiyyah give by Shaykh Ibn Baaz:
If a wife asks her husband for a khula and he accepts, how long is the waiting period?Is it irrevocable i.e can they ever re-marry?
Praise be to Allaah.
If the woman who has been divorced by khula’ is pregnant then her ‘iddah lasts until she gives birth, according to scholarly consensus. Al-Mughni, 11/227.
But if she is not pregnant, the scholars differed concerning her ‘iddah. Most of the scholars said that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, because of the general meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
But the correct view is that it is sufficient for a woman divorced by khula’ to wait for one menstrual cycle, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays, when she divorced him by khula’, to wait out the ‘iddah for one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 946). This hadeeth refers specifically to khula’ divorce whereas the aayah quoted above speaks of divorce in general. But if she waits out an ‘iddah of three menstrual cycles that will be more complete and will be on the safe side, and will avoid an area of scholarly dispute, as some scholars say that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, based on the aayah quoted.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/286.
There is nothing wrong with them remarrying with a new marriage contract.
And here is another one:
Does iddah imply when it is the woman who is seeking the divorce (khula).
Praise be to Allaah.
1 – Khula’ – in principle – can only occur at the request of the wife, and with the husband’s subsequent agreement to end the marriage.
2 – ‘Iddah is obligatory upon every woman who leaves her husband, or whose husband leaves her, whether the cause is talaaq (divorce), annulment of the marriage or the death of the husband, except when the divorce occurs before the marriage has been consummated, in which case the woman does not have to observe ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘Iddah [divorce prescribed period] have you to count in respect of them”[al-Ahzaab 33:49]
3 – With regard to the ‘iddah following khula’, the correct scholarly view is that it is one menstrual cycle, as is indicated by the Sunnah.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim, as we shall see below).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
In the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the woman who ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle, there is evidence for two rulings:
The first is that she does not have to wait for three menstrual cycles, rather one menstrual cycle is sufficient. Just as this is clearly the Sunnah, it was also the view of Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh and her paternal uncle, who was one of the greatest Sahaabah. We do not know of anyone who held a different opinion, as al-Layth ibn Sa’d narrated that Naafi’ the freed slave of Ibn ‘Umar heard al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh ibn ‘Afra’ telling ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that she had ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ at the time of ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, and her paternal uncle had come to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan and said, The daughter of Mu’awwadh ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ today, so should she move (from the marital home)? ‘Uthmaan said, She should move, and there is no inheritance between them, and she does not have to observe any ‘iddah, but she should not remarry until one menstrual cycle has passed, lest she be pregnant. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: and ‘Uthmaan was the best of us and the most knowledgeable.
This view was also shared by Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh and Imaam Ahmad, according to one report narrated from him. It was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
Those who supported this view said: this is in accordance with the principles of sharee’ah. The ‘iddah (in the case of talaaq) was made three menstrual cycles in order to lengthen the time during which the husband may take back his wife, so that the husband will have enough time to rethink the matter and to be able to take his wife back during this time. But in the case of khula’ the wife is not going to go back and the purpose is simply to establish whether she is pregnant or not, so one menstrual cycle is sufficient. They said: this does not contradict the ruling that the ‘iddah for a woman divorced by talaaq is three months. In the case of divorce the ‘iddah is the same whether it is a final talaaq or a revocable talaaq.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/196, 197
Some scholars said that the ‘iddah for a woman who ends her marriage to her husband by khula’ is three menstrual cycles, as in the case of one who is divorced by talaaq, but this was expertly refuted by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, who said:
What indicates that khula’ is not the same as talaaq is the fact that in the case of a revocable talaaq after consummation of the marriage, there are specific rulings which are not applicable in the case of khula’.
1. That the husband has more right to take her back.
2. When the husband issues a talaaq, is it counted as one of three, and after the third it is not permissible for the wife to go back to him until she has been married to another man and that marriage has been consummated.
3. ‘Iddah in the case of talaaq is three menstrual cycles.
So the ‘iddah in the case of khula’ is what is indicated by the Sunnah, namely one menstrual cycle.
And Allaah knows best.
So from my understanding, my iddah is only one month/ menstrual cycle. And Allah SWT knows best. At least that means I can move on sooner than expected. Insha'Allah, may Allah make it easy for me.
*****Edit: I spoke to my Imam and a student of knowledge, and they both said my iddah is only one menstrual cycle. That makes things a bit clearer*******
Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what God Hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in God and the Last Day. ... 2:228
So now what about a woman who was divorce by khula?
From what I read and researched and from asking the Imam, the iddah is one menstrual cycle. Even though the scholars differ on this point, majority of them say its only one month.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim.
Here's a fatwa from islamqa.com and that I also read in Fataawa Islamiyyah give by Shaykh Ibn Baaz:
If a wife asks her husband for a khula and he accepts, how long is the waiting period?Is it irrevocable i.e can they ever re-marry?
Praise be to Allaah.
If the woman who has been divorced by khula’ is pregnant then her ‘iddah lasts until she gives birth, according to scholarly consensus. Al-Mughni, 11/227.
But if she is not pregnant, the scholars differed concerning her ‘iddah. Most of the scholars said that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, because of the general meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
But the correct view is that it is sufficient for a woman divorced by khula’ to wait for one menstrual cycle, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays, when she divorced him by khula’, to wait out the ‘iddah for one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 946). This hadeeth refers specifically to khula’ divorce whereas the aayah quoted above speaks of divorce in general. But if she waits out an ‘iddah of three menstrual cycles that will be more complete and will be on the safe side, and will avoid an area of scholarly dispute, as some scholars say that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, based on the aayah quoted.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/286.
There is nothing wrong with them remarrying with a new marriage contract.
And here is another one:
Does iddah imply when it is the woman who is seeking the divorce (khula).
Praise be to Allaah.
1 – Khula’ – in principle – can only occur at the request of the wife, and with the husband’s subsequent agreement to end the marriage.
2 – ‘Iddah is obligatory upon every woman who leaves her husband, or whose husband leaves her, whether the cause is talaaq (divorce), annulment of the marriage or the death of the husband, except when the divorce occurs before the marriage has been consummated, in which case the woman does not have to observe ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘Iddah [divorce prescribed period] have you to count in respect of them”[al-Ahzaab 33:49]
3 – With regard to the ‘iddah following khula’, the correct scholarly view is that it is one menstrual cycle, as is indicated by the Sunnah.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim, as we shall see below).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
In the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the woman who ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle, there is evidence for two rulings:
The first is that she does not have to wait for three menstrual cycles, rather one menstrual cycle is sufficient. Just as this is clearly the Sunnah, it was also the view of Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh and her paternal uncle, who was one of the greatest Sahaabah. We do not know of anyone who held a different opinion, as al-Layth ibn Sa’d narrated that Naafi’ the freed slave of Ibn ‘Umar heard al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh ibn ‘Afra’ telling ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that she had ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ at the time of ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, and her paternal uncle had come to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan and said, The daughter of Mu’awwadh ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ today, so should she move (from the marital home)? ‘Uthmaan said, She should move, and there is no inheritance between them, and she does not have to observe any ‘iddah, but she should not remarry until one menstrual cycle has passed, lest she be pregnant. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: and ‘Uthmaan was the best of us and the most knowledgeable.
This view was also shared by Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh and Imaam Ahmad, according to one report narrated from him. It was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
Those who supported this view said: this is in accordance with the principles of sharee’ah. The ‘iddah (in the case of talaaq) was made three menstrual cycles in order to lengthen the time during which the husband may take back his wife, so that the husband will have enough time to rethink the matter and to be able to take his wife back during this time. But in the case of khula’ the wife is not going to go back and the purpose is simply to establish whether she is pregnant or not, so one menstrual cycle is sufficient. They said: this does not contradict the ruling that the ‘iddah for a woman divorced by talaaq is three months. In the case of divorce the ‘iddah is the same whether it is a final talaaq or a revocable talaaq.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/196, 197
Some scholars said that the ‘iddah for a woman who ends her marriage to her husband by khula’ is three menstrual cycles, as in the case of one who is divorced by talaaq, but this was expertly refuted by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, who said:
What indicates that khula’ is not the same as talaaq is the fact that in the case of a revocable talaaq after consummation of the marriage, there are specific rulings which are not applicable in the case of khula’.
1. That the husband has more right to take her back.
2. When the husband issues a talaaq, is it counted as one of three, and after the third it is not permissible for the wife to go back to him until she has been married to another man and that marriage has been consummated.
3. ‘Iddah in the case of talaaq is three menstrual cycles.
So the ‘iddah in the case of khula’ is what is indicated by the Sunnah, namely one menstrual cycle.
And Allaah knows best.
So from my understanding, my iddah is only one month/ menstrual cycle. And Allah SWT knows best. At least that means I can move on sooner than expected. Insha'Allah, may Allah make it easy for me.
*****Edit: I spoke to my Imam and a student of knowledge, and they both said my iddah is only one menstrual cycle. That makes things a bit clearer*******
Back from my break
Sorry for not blogging in awhile. I just took a mini-vacation (just for the weekend). I got back not that long ago and at least now I can say Im thinking a lot clearer. Ahh the good things that can take place in a couple of days. ALhamdulillah Im feeling a bit better, and I think Im ready to move on and start life. Now the question is how? Insha'Allah only time will tell. But Im definitely on the move. We''ll see where life takes me. I'll keep you posted. Love you all for the sake of Allah.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)