Saturday, November 22, 2008

Close Call

I came very close to deleting my blog last night. I swear, I was so ready to hit the delete blog button. I just became overwhelmed with everything. THere were a few things said last night, not on my blog but made by someone else that kinda hurt me. I then was reading thru my blog last night and going thru old post wondering what happened to the days that I felt like that. I broke down crying after I read one of my post titled A Hug Goes A Long Way. I couldnt help it because its not that way anymore. The excitement that I felt when I first got married, how happy I was, how blessed I felt, its turned into sadness, anger, but alhamdulillah I am still blessed. You just never know what the future may hold, all you can do is ask Allah SWT to help prepare you for whatever that may come your way. And I was totally not prepared for this in the least. Im not ready to move, Im not ready to let go. There's still so much to say and do that I don't want to stop. These are some other things that I read in my blog that made me cry.

I feel blessed. Insha'Allah, I'll feel like this everyday of my marriage, which I hope it'll be til the day I die. Until next time from my fairy tale come true

I hope that I won't have to go through the heartache and pain of divorce again, that this is my final marriage. I pray to be with my husband til the day Allah calls us back to Him. And Allah knows best. For now Im still counting towards it being forever.

Like I said I never saw it coming, caught completely off guard. But I guess that's life. You get knocked down and you have the choice whether to stay down or get back up and brush yourself off and keep moving. I always try to remember what Allah SWT says in the Qur'an

Fa inna ma'al 'usri yusra

Inna ma'al 'usri yusra

Verily, along with every hardship is relief.

Verily, along with every hardship is relief. (Surat Ash-Sharh, v. 5-6)

And also the words of our beloved Prophet (SAW):

There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that touches the believer, even the pricking of a thorn, except that Allah decrees a good for him or effaces one of his sins because of that.” (Sahih Muslim, V. 4, Hadith # 6241)

If I constantly remember that, I'll be okay. Im getting there.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Yasmin. And people said hurtful things online?? SubhanAllah, ppl should be more considerate. If u need me I'm here for u, and you are still in my duaas. InshAllah things will get better for u. Just remember that Allah has not forgotten about you and inshAllah He will bring you that special someone. Luv u for the sake of Allah.


Naimah Umm Khadijah said...

Hold on in there sis, keep strong, insha Allaah you'll get through this. Keep making plenty of du'a, Allaah can change this whole situation around for you in an instant.
I will share with you something which happened about 2 years ago now, me and my husband got divorced, it was mainly my decision, I felt I wasn't happy etc.. many reasons, all prob from shaytaan, anyway we were apart for about 8 mths, and after a few months, I realised the mistake I had made, especially as we have kids together, I asked if he would take me back, and he was so insistant on not coming back, he had been hurt and felt angry, I tried so many times, crying on the phone to him, subhanAllaah I felt so down at that time, and it just felt like there was no hope for us, but I didn't give up, I went through his family, and alhamdulillaah they stepped in, and gave him advice, masha'Allaah his heart softened and he took me back. I couldn't hardly believe it when he did.
So sis, my point of mentioning that, is to remind you of the mercy of Allaah, alhamdulillaah I had another chance, insha Allaah your marriage will too.

Inspired Muslimah said...

Hang in there yasmin,, and I know its easy to say than my sister, but you are in my prayers...May Allah(S.W.T) ease your pain.

Yasmin said...

Thak you so very much,
Naeemah, no it was my husband that had said something, sorry for not making that clear. The reason I wanted to delete the blog is cuz of everything I wrote before when things were good. It had just made me sad and I just wanted to act like it never happened. But my blog isnt going anywhere.

Naimah, salaam sis, thank you for telling your story. I found it to be uplifting, even tho Im not sure it might happen to me, but it definitely shows me not to give up cuz you never know what may happen. He is actually leaving in a couple of weeks for 3 weeks. Maybe that time apart might help and he'll have a change of heart when he comes back.

Inspired Muslimah, ameen to your du'a. Im gonna hang in there.

hijabee said...

I pray that you feel better inshallah

H.M. said...

Inshallah khiar sis...your right remember that verse, because its so true:)

Your always in my duaa's sis, glad you havent deleted your blog...hang in there.

Iva said...

I just came across your blog while i was googling.

May Allah make everything easy for you sis. I had tears in my eyes sis. SubhanAllah, this is a test from Allah. If you be patient, the reward is with Allah.

I love you for the sake of Allah.

S. E. Jihad Levine "Sister Safiyyah" said...

Salaams Dear:

Like the other sister, I was divorced from my dear husband for 3 years. In between, I was married to two awful brothers. And I got out. But after 3 years, Allah (swt) brought my first husband back to me. Alhamdulillah!

It was all a huge test ...

Dear sister; you hang in there. From what I read on your blog since you married this brother, you went into this marriage with all of the best intentions. You have tried so hard to please this brother. If Allah (swt) does remove this brother from you, maybe He knows that the brother is not good for you.

You deserve the best sis, and Allah (swt) will see to it that you get it :)

love and hugz

Zaenab said...

aww bless you! dont worry though InshaAllah things start getting better from here :)

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry for what you must be going through right now in your marriage. I dont know exactly what is wrong, but I have also felt at times in my marriage that I wanted it to end. Looking back at such times I tremble on how could I ever have thought of giving up on this marriage. Not because its perfect but coz its just life's wisdom at teaching me things I couldnt imagine. Look for the answer inside you, I swear you will find it - and that is the only thing that will make sense to you.

M.J. said...

You're so strong sister, masAllah. May Allah SWT bless you.

Anonymous said...

salam aleikum, I'm so late, now your have a precious son from that union, alhamdullahi. being muslims doesn't mean we'll be compatible, insha Allah a fulfilling marriage is in your future, just don't rush into it and make your imperfect family a part of your decision making. Family keeps us grounded