A Month and Counting Towards Forever

Alhamdulillah, today makes a month that Ive been married. It seems like only yesterday I got married. So far it's been a good experience and something that has made me grow a bit more as a person. Being able to share my life and dreams with someone else, always having someone there to talk to is such an amazing feeling. A feeling that I thought I would never be able to feel after my last marriage.

My last marriage was such a struggle, a struggle to keep my head above water. All it was doing was pulling me down so far to the point I was so ready to give up and drown me. I'm just so glad to be away from that, to get a new fresh start with someone who was truly ready to be married and share his life with me. I feel amazingly blessed. Allah has blessed me with so much that Im grateful for. When things seemed to be going downhill or I lost my sense of direction, Allah has kept me guided. Just looking back a month or two til now, I really see that patience really pays off. Even when there seems like all hope is lost, it never is. I realize you go through things to make you stronger and sometimes what you think is best for you really isn't. Allah knows what is best for you and Ive learned to put my complete trust in Him because he will never lead me astray.

I may be young but Ive definitely been through a lot and learned a lot. Marriage isn't easy, it takes a lot of work and commitment,but it surely is fulfilling. You have good days and you have bad days, but at the end of the day what matters is that you love that person and they make you happy. To be able to sit back and just think of what makes that person wonderful and to know that they care about you makes it a little easier. I think the secret to making a marriage successful is to keep it fresh. Always trying new things, even though routine is helpful, but its always those little surprises that make the day. And also knowing that marriage is a partnership and not a dictatorship. You both need to work together in order to make it work. And of course never forgetting about Allah. That should always be the first thing, knowing that Allah brought you two together and put love and mercy between each other.

Insha'Allah, I hope that I won't have to go through the heartache and pain of divorce again, that this is my final marriage. I pray to be with my husband til the day Allah calls us back to Him. And Allah knows best. For now Im still counting towards it being forever.

A Nice Reminder

My husband had emailed me this yesterday (yes my husband and I email each other and we live in the same house lol) and I thought I'd share it with you

Upon you is the Taqwâ of Allâh if you are heedless..... He brings you provisions from where you do not know

So how do you fear poverty and Allâh is the Provider..... And he has provided for the birds and the fish in the sea

So whoever thinks that the provisions come with power..... Then the sparrow does not eat anything with the eagle

Then decrease from the Dunya for you do not know..... If the night comes to you will you stay until the sunrise

For how man healthy ones died without any disease..... And how many sick ones lived for a long age

So how many of the young men become and grow up laughing..... And he was sufficed with the unknown from harm and he did not know

So who has lived one thousand or two thousand..... then no doubt one day he'll walk to the Grave

"Whoever thinks about this worldly life and the hereafter would know that he will never gain either of them except by hardship. He should bear this hardship in order to gain the best and more lasting of them" -Ibnul Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah, from the book Al-Fawaa'id

I've Been Burned

Let's see how many times have I burned myself today:-

• Burned myself with hot water in the shower
• Burned my mouth with green tea, maybe next time I should of let it cool down a bit.
• Taking the laundry outta the dryer
• While cooking, TWICE, need to learn not to touch the pot in the oven without oven mits/ and watch out for boiling water.
• And the steam from the iron

Maybe Im just too hot today lol

I really need to stop messing with hot things. Luckily no burn marks.

This reminds me of the time I literallyt branded myself when I was 11 year old. I was working in my dad's restaurant making french fries. I went to take the french fries out of the deep fryer and was shaking the excess oil off of them. Outta nowhere the basket bounces off the back of the deep fryer and hits me on my chin. I tried everything, and I ended up with a scar that look exactly like the Nike logo. My brothers kept making fun of me saying that Im property of Nike now lol. I walked around for weeks with my hijab covering my chin. Now the scar is barely noticeable.

It seems I haven't learned my lesson with hot things yet.

I'm Officially a Driver...well almost

I just got my learner's permit yesterday. Yay for me!!! So now I can LEGALLY learn how to drive. Ive been practicing for the longest and Im already prepared to take my road test. Hell, I should just take it tomorrow. Well I'll give it 2 weeks then take it. Better to be prepared right? No need to rush it.

The only thing I don't like about having my permit is my picture. I made the biggest mistake. When I was leaving the house it just completely slipped my mind that I have to take a photo for my permit, otherwise I would have re thought about the hijab I wore. I had on a white underscarf, with a black shayla. Something similar to the picture but without the designs:

Now Im not saying that its bad to wear that combination, it looks pretty chic. But when you have a big head like me, white just makes it look a lot bigger and on camera it just magnifies it even more. So you could only imagine what my photo looks like. My head takes up the whole space.

Now Im wondering if I could retake it, hmm...........

Niqab vs. Batman

Have any of you who wear niqab ever had a child ask you that or thought you were some superhero or villian? Well not the batman part, but why was I wearing a mask, it's not halloween yet. Kids....gotta love them.

I'm Missing My Niqab

No I haven't lost my niqab nor did I destroy it. I just miss wearing it. I felt so secure in it. If you ever been to NY you could understand my reason why I wore it. Men have no shame, especially a lot of Muslim men (not all of them), and they used to always say things about how pretty I was or tried to give me their number, all that crap. I took it off mainly for work and those comments started to come back but I just dealt with it. Now Im living somewhere where I don't really need it. People are a lot more respectful and have manners. I haven't had that stare or weird look from people. I still wear my abaya and haven't heard anything.

So Im wondering will it still be the same here if I wore niqab?

I don't really think so. I live in a military town. There is an army base and air force base right where I live (my husband used to be in the air force so that's why we are here til he finishes his degree). And there isn't a big Muslim community at all. Sometimes I feel my husband and I are the only ones. I know people will start being uncomfortable and give me the 'stare' if they saw me with my face covered. They might start with the whole terrorist thing. Boy have I heard that soo many times.

My husband says its my choice if I want to do it and he wouldn't care either way as long as I was happy. Im just torn between should I do it or should I not. I don't really care what people say to an extent, but I just don't wanna put either of us in a bad predicament. I just miss the beauty of it, how good I felt that no one else could see me besides my family, how I felt like I was in my own little world all my own .

So I guess I wont wear it for now, until we move to a bigger city next year, where there is a bigger Muslim population. There is certainly strength in numbers, I guess. I think we see others doing it and being around other Muslims, it gives you the motivation to do it. We'll see what happens.

A Hug Goes a Long Way

I absolutely love hugs. It makes me feel all happy and warm and fuzzy. I remember before I married my husband, he had asked me what made me happy and I said hugs. So I was in my bedroom watching TV because my hubby was doing homework in the living room, so I didn't wanna disturb him.
All of sudden he comes in the rooms and just gives me the biggest bear hug and I started kissing my face. I said what was that for? He says I know hugs make you happy and I wanna see you happy and I love when you are in my arms cuz that makes me happy. I wanted to cry and it put the biggest smile ever.
This is why I love him, the little things he does. He isn't perfect, no one is, but I accept him for who he is. Even thought we dont sleep in the same bed, it doesn't mean he doesn't care. Showing love means more than just saying it.

Alhamdulillah, I married the right man.

**Sorry for the lovey dovey post, but just needed to get that out**

My Ebay Find

I found this abaya yesteday on ebay. Don't you just love ebay.

An elegant abaya made with soft flowing poly crepe material, light weight and easy to maintain
Comes with matching chiffon shayla (appx. 23"W x 72"L) & a standard valcro closure niqab .

I love the colors of the embroidery, very colorful. Check out the seller's store here (Nabila's Collection) to see available sizes and other items. Luckily this one is a Buy Now item, so you don't have to bid on it. It's just $39.99 and shipping is just $8.95. Not bad, not bad at all.

Am I wrong?

Can someone please tell me if Im overreacting or askinf for too much. Is it too much too ask myhusband to sleep in the same bed as me? Is too much to wanna be comforted by him? Is it wrong for a husband to try and please his wife?
May someone answer that because apparently the answers Ive given are completely wrong. I thought husbands and wives slept in the same bed, besides for those who have more than one wife.
Isn't that why they call it a marital bed.

Im having a hard time with it, Im trying to be an obedient wife and understand, but its hard because it's making me upset. And no matter how much I try to say so, I feel like its falling on deaf ears. He says that Im a violent sleeper, which I know Im not because my ex-husband slept with me in the same bed and never ever complained. And that I disturb his sleep and I dont see how. He doesn't like for me to touch him while he sleeps, which I found out the hard way the other night, which doesn't bother me too much but everything else does. Maybe Im the wrong one, but Im so confused about it.

A husband is really only suppose to separate from his wife in their bed if he is angry at her, but this isn't the case. He said he isn't angry at me, so what's the problem.

Sorry for rambling but Im just a bit confused by it all and don't know what to do? Im trying to win his affection, I do everything that a wife is suppose to do, what is it that Im not doing?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My Beauty Faves

Just felt like sharing some of my fave beauty products that I j'adore at this moment

Lotion

Bath and Body Works is the way to go. They have the most amazing stuff ever, a for a reasonable price. I like them a whole lot better than Victoria's Secret, even though the are part of the same Limited Brands Co. (I used to work there so I know and I used to get a discount there, that's the only part I miss about the job). Some of my faves :

I love the scent of Black Raspberry Vanilla and Sweat Pea. I don't really like fruity scents but this has just the right amount fruityness and sweetness. I more towards sweet smells. Now their signature collection body creams are just $5 each, great deal!!

Body Wash

I just started using this stuff and I'm in love. Ive been using dial as long as I remember, mainly the bar soap because it's antibacterial. The only thing about antibacterial soaps, they sucked the moisture right outta my skin. But regualr beauty bars sometimes would irritate my skin. Now Ive found something that is the best of both, it contains both antibacterial and moisturizing ingredients. I swear my skin has never felt cleaner or smoother and Ive tried alot of other stuff as well. And the smell is lovely. For some reason I have thing with jasmine. Since my name is yasmin(arabic for jasmine flower) I have an addiction to jasmine, weird connection right?

Perfume

I don't but perfume on a regular basis but a few that I sooo want right now (hint, hint to the hubby) I've been wanting this ever since I smelled it in a magazine last year and for some reason I still haven't got it. But it's definitely on my want list. It's a very fun and playful fragrance. Here are a few of the notes: water lily, lady apple, mandarin meringue, and golden apricot skin are melded with sheer floral notes, accented with dark chocolate, pink frosting accord, amber, warm woods, musk, and vanilla-sounds good enough to eat.

Also

My fave for a long time, Miss Dior Cherie by Dior, of course. I love the very feminine and romatic smell it has. Top notes are wild strawberry leaves and green tangerine. The heart features caramel popcorns surrounded by violets, wild strawberry, and pink jasmine( gotta love that jasmine). The base is created of fresh patchouli leaves and crystalline musk. Don't you just love the bottle. I have a thing for pretty bottles. This is the original one. They have just recently put ot Miss Dior Cherie Eau de Printemps. I don't like it that much, has a bit more of an orangey smell which I don't like. This is more of a fall/winter fragrance but hey in the house, it can be any season you want.

You can buy these frangrances at Sephora, Dillard's, or Macy's.

I just recently decided to change my face scrub and this stuff is like magic in a bottle. My skin is so much clearer and smoother, and less oily thanks to this stuff. I guess those Neutrogena commercials don't lie, because Im surely a believer.

You Are Having a Brown Day

Today you are your normal responsible, serious self. You're getting done what needs to be done. And you're not too worried about how you're feeling. While you're all business, you are still warm and approachable. You are busy, but you're not too busy for a little fun down time.

What Color Day Are You Having?

Okay this quiz is an absolute lie, normal, serious self, not worried about how I feel, yea right. It's like this test was mainly made for happy people because the choices were all choices like content, peaceful, confident, nothing like angry, pissed, underweather. What happened to the angry people choices. I'm feeling a bit more on the red side. They need to write a disclaimer/warning for this quiz:-

WARNING. Take this quiz only if you are feeling normally happy and content. Do not take this quiz if you show any signs of depression, anger, violence, emotional upset, or any other emotion besides happy. Failure to do so might end up with false results and may result in you cursing us. We are not responsible for any ill feelings you may have for you have been forwarned.

I know it's only a quiz and what's the probability of it accurately telling you how you feel? Just felt like letting off a little steam, so Im taking it out on the quiz. Better than taking it out on a person cuz that won't be pretty. But at least it makes wanna get a mood ring. Don't you remember those?

Ok let me stop before this post ends up sounding crazier than it already does.

Random Thoughts

I haven't really had the will to blog, I guess we all get to that point. I have post that Im still working on but kinda procrastinating.

I don't know Im just feeling blah right now, Ive been feeling that way for the past 2 days. You think I should be in that whole newlywed marital bliss but its like been there done that.

Im just not feeling myself especially today. Im usually outgoing, smiley, laughing but today I dont wanna do any of that. Im probably moping about what I don't know. I feel sick, my head is hurting, Im feeling awfully tired, I don't have an appetite for anything, my stomach is hurting, I feel hormonal, and it's not that time of the month. Maybe I should see a psychologist, maybe there's something wrong or maybe its just all in my head. I feel so run down.

Sorry for all the rambling but this the one place I feel I can let out my feelings and emotions. Insha'Allah I'll feel better.

It Ends Right Now

Most of you know the drama of my life when I was previously married. I had cut of all connection to my ex-husband. I didn't wanna speak to him or anything.

So it was a bit weird that 3 days I had called one of my friends and she told me that he had called her asking for my number. Alhamdulillah she thought I had changed my number because when she called me to try to see if it was okay to give him my number, my phone was disconnected thanks to no signal. Apparently it seems he erased my number but then it seems like it found it, remembered it or something cuz he texted me yesterday.

It was just so weird. He would send me like 10 messages at a time saying things like 'I miss you, do you still love me, I love you and I want you back, Im so depressed that you aren't in my life, I messed up, I need you'. Does he think Im crazy? Does he think that Im gonna come running back to him.

HELL NOOO!!!! He surely is taking me as a fool right now. I know he's tryna play on my emotions, seeing if Im some sort of feelings for him, but he is completely mistaken. After what he did, I cut my losses a long time ago. There's no way in the world Im going back. I texted him back saying that he can't say things like to me and that Im a married woman, but he kept texting me back. I told my husband about it and he doesn't like it, but he doesn't wanna get involved and I don't want him too. Im tryna settle it on my own. I shouldn of changed my number a long time ago, but you know 21 year olds, we can't remember anything lol.

What he is doing is so disrespectful. What made it even more disrespectful that he sent a text asking me if I consummated my marriage. Subhanallah!! That is none of his damn business. I know he has some alterior motive behind this.

As is says in the Sharia (Islamic Law), if a husband divorces his wife with 3 divorces, she cannot remarry him until she marries another husband, consummates that marriage, and that husband divorces her.

I know that is what he is thinking, but it's not gonna happen. I feel sorry for him in away but it's time to move on a get on with life. He messed up and now he's feeling the pain because he lost someone he know was good. Now it's my husbands time to shine-lol. Insha'Allah, he'll be able to move on and find somone else. May Allah make him a better person and ease his heart.

Now first thing on my list of things to do:- CHANGE MY NUMBER. Hopefully that'll get the message thru lol

Daughters of Another Path

As most of you know, I was born Muslim. But I love to hear the stories of those who have reverted to Islam. They are always so inspiring and sometimes bring tears to my eyes. They struggles the faced to tell their families, friends, and the negativity the sometimes dealt with. I read a book not that long ago called Daughters of Another Path: Experience of American Women Choosing Islam by Carol Anderson.

The author is the christian mother whose daughter converted to Islam, In the book she explores the path that American Christian woman have taken towards Islam. I really loved the book because it was very objective; the author was honest with her feelings but yet never criticized anyone for their beliefs. It's very relatable and a lot the stories are inspiring. I also love how it tells bothe sides of the stories, first from the daughters and then how their families felt. So you get a true understanding of the whole picture. It even includes the survey that the author had sent out to help compile the book. I highly suggest it to all muslim and non-muslims alike, especially those who are new reverts, it can serve as a guideline and inspiration of how to deal with the struggles you might face with your families.

Here is the description on the back cover:-

The rapid growth of Islam in America is a current phenomenon. Why are our American daughters leaving their Christian bacgrounds and choosing Islam, a religion that requires discipline, submission, and being "different?"

Daughters of Another Path reveals some of the resons and thought processes that led these daughters into a new journey in their spiritual life.

You will experience some of the hurt and frustratuon of paretns and families as they deal with their daughters' choosing another path.

Yet it is a heartwarming book by a non-Muslim mother telling her story of reconciliation with her own daughter's conversion to Islam and includes stories of fifty-three other American women who have chosen Islam.

Happy Reading :)

Watch Out! Muslim Woman Driving!

I just got back from my first driving lesson and Im proud to say I didn't kill anyone or hit anything and my husband's car (or my soon to be car) is still intact with no scratches. Alhamdulillah it went better than I expected it. I was soo nervous.

My husband just pulls into a parking lot (of a church no less) and then tells me to get in the drivers seat. I thought that he was just gonna show me how to turn, put the car in reverse, etc just the basics you think. NO. He tells me to take the car onto the road. Mind you, the last time I was behind the wheel of a car I was like 15, it would be 19 but sittin behind the wheel of you mom's car to turn it on doesn't count.

At least I didn't freak out, it just made me a bit more nervous. I know the guy who was driving behind was getting mad or I think he was, but at least he didn't curse at me or honk he's horn. If it was NY, those swear words would of been flying like crazy. But thank God people are a bit nicer and patient down here.

If it was my driver's test, I think I would of failed 1) for taking my hands off the wheel. My hubby is saying Im dangerous because of it. The car didn't spin outta control or crash so no big deal right? 2) I turned without signaling and didn't come to a complete stop, oh well I'll remember it next time I guess. I think that's all, but overall I did a good job.

My husband was making fun of me because I was stopped at a school bus and a little girl got off the bus and crossed the street. He kept saying 'don't hit her, don't hit her unless you wanna go to jail'. Mind you the girl was crossing like 100 ft away and the car was at a complete standstill. I know, he's just messing with me. Insha'Allah, we'll see how tomorrow's driving lesson goes, if I live to tell about it, just kidding ;)

I Have an Itch, Should I Scratch?

Please don't get weirded out by the post title. I don't have a yeast infection or a crazy skin condition lol. The itch I'm talking about is the baby itch. Some of you know what I'm talking about. That feeling that you just wanna have a child of your own to love and care for. It's funny cuz that feeling usually comes around when you spend a lot of time around another persons child, and for me I can't even tell the last time I was around a baby, maybe back in Ramadan at the masjid. Maybe I could be wrong but Im having that feeling.

I really dont wanna rush things. Im enjoying being newly married and spending time with my husband. People say that I should wait and just enjoy my marriage and enjoy each other first because once a child comes along everything is gonna change. I completely agree with it and I don't wanna rush anything but it's like my soul is craving a child, for lack of better words. I fully understand the responsibility that I child requires and that its not easy but there is so much blessing to it.

In my previous marriage, I became pregnant early on, about 2 months after we had gotten married. I ended up miscarrying around 2 1/2-3 months. Yea it was sad, but it was the qadr of Allah and now I see why it happened.

I've talked to my husband about it even before we got married and he said he's caught between 2 things. He said he wants to wait til after he finishes grad school, which is next year, but then on the other hand he really wants to have a child now, just one, and also to get his mom offhis back. You know how mothers are when they want grandchildren-thankfully my mom isn't part of that group but I know she'll be happy either way. I then asked him again after we got married and he said he wants to have children pretty soon.

So now Im thinking is soon like weeks, months away? Yea I know Im crazy but like I said it's that damn itch that won't go away. It's getting so bad that Im watching all those baby shows, like the one on TLC A Baby Story. I think he watched it with me, maybe he got the hint because honestly in a way that's what I was hoping to do. I would just accidently stumble across the show while channel surfing and become interested like Ive never seen it before. I know Im bad lol.

Insha'Allah, in the near future you might be reading about a bun in hte oven, but for now I'll try to be a bit more patient.

A Girl Can Never Have Too Many Abayas

This is soo very true. All I ever really wear is abayas, so the more the merrier. Since I couldn't think of anything for my dowry, my husband suggested that he just buy me abayas, whichever ones I want as long as I dont go overboard with it, like max out his credit card overboard. That's a girls dream and my dream come true. Soon as he said that, I already knew the ones I wanted. I had to convince him about ordering things from oversees because he's a bit finicky about it since it takes longer and he says you never know if they'll actually send it to you. But Im pretty confident. All of them are from websites that I or friends who purchashed from and haven't had any trouble alhamdulillah. Well here are a few of the ones I picked and are in the process of ordering:

This one is absolutely pretty. It's from Tahura.com. What I love about tahura is that they custom make the abaya for you. You choose the measurements, the color of the designs (they have a long list of colors), and whether you want the abaya open or closed. That's just unbelievabley awesome. I like the colors the chose above, but I would probably do white and another neutral.

Also from tahura, this is my favorite out of all of them. Too bad it's not made out of the material display. As it says on the website satin material in pictured abaya for iluustration purposes only. All abayas will be cut from the normal 'softtouch' tahura abaya material. It would be nice if they did, but it's still beautiful. Im gonna order it as is.

Im always looking for something a bit different and this abaya makes the cut. This one is from 2hijab.com It has a beautiful ribboned trimmed hood and flowing sleeves. To get a better look at it click here. The pictures will say enough.

For my satin craving, this abaya from al-hijaab is so beautiful. It looks too nice for everyday, but for those days I just wanna look glam and chic, this will do the trick. And the plus side, it comes with the matching shayla FREE!!!! That makes my day lol.

And last but not least Im gonna get a plain black open style abaya, once I find one I like. A girl can never have too many of those. It's an abaya wardrobe.

Nothing to Fear

Well you already know I got married the other day. The thing behind it is that I never told my family about my intention. Why you may ask? Because 99.9% of my family are non-Muslim, only me and my mom are, and they don't really understand the concepts and the reasons of marriage in Islam.

You think I would of told my mother, but I still didn't even let her know. Was it selfish of me? I don't think so. I believe I was looking out for my best interest. Was I scared? In a way I was. I wasn't scared of the idea of getting married or moving away to another state, or what my family would of said because their opinion wouldn't have changed my mind. I was a bit scared to tell my mother because of the way she reacted when I told her I got married the first time. She was SO upset.

It was mostly my fault, the way I went about getting married to my first husband. I had told my mom about him and she met him, but we never made our intentions clear. I told my mom that I wasn't planning on getting married and I was gonna wait....Yeah right!!! I ended up getting married a week later, and I didn't show up at home the next day or the day after that because I had moved in with my ex-husband. I had came back home to get the rest of my things and my brothers were there and they already knew I was married because I was packing my things and leaving. My mom called me the next day I asked me if I got married? I told her yes and she flipped on me. She was angry at the fact that I didn't tell her anything at all, that she heard from someone else. It was sad how she found out.

The story is a bit complicated but I told my best friend right before I got married. She then told her mother who passed it on to someone else and then that someone else passed it to others and then everyone was going to my mom to say congratulations on something she had no clue about. Now how is this all linked together? My mom teaches at an Islamic school. My friend attended high school at the school my mom works at. My friend's mom also worked at the school and still knows all the staff and keeps in touch. So my friends my mom called one of the teachers and that were it started to spread. Then as always, the story started to change. People started saying the reason I got married was because I was pregnant, which I was totally NOT!! This is what happens when a bunch of women who have nothing better to do but talk and gossip all day do. I figured my mom was pretty embarrassed so she called me to set everything straight. She told me that I should of had let her know because she wanted to be there when I got married. I felt really bad that I hurt my mom, but I was so caught with someone who in the long run turned out to be bad for me.

So the second time around, you think I would have done things differently, well not quite. Instead of straight out telling her I kinda hinted it to her. I told her I was interested in my husband and all the good stuff. She was pretty impressed and wanted to talk to him. He had called her and talked to her for a little while. I told my mom that I was flying down to NC to visit him and I was going to be away for a week. I bet she figured I was getting married but of course she didn't say anything. I spent 3 days looking for the right words to say to her, to let her know I was getting married. Finally I told her the next day. Well actually I didn't say it my husband did. I was way too nervous because I didn't know how she would react to it since my mother is very unpredictable. When my husband handed me back the phone the first thing my mom said to me was thaat I was a chicken and she was gonna pluck my feathers like one. lol. I know my mother is crazy. She said I should of just spit it out and said it. She wasn't gonna kill me or anything. She said she was happy for me and that this might be the best thing for especially after what happened in my last marriage. She said that me starting off new, in a new place, new house, new people will be good. Also she told me to make sure that I visit my relatives who live out here and she said she'll always be my mother and she'll always be there. Pheww!!! What a relief that was but I know its not the end of what she has to say. I'm going back to NY tomorrow to get a few more of my things so then my transition will be complete, then I'll be flying right back down Saturday.

Why is that most of us are scared to tell our parents things? Is it out of fear or disappointing them or what they are gonna say? I think for me it was more of hurting my mom because Im living in a different state and I won't be as close to her as she likes. Im the only girl and the oldest so you know how that goes. But Im older and have to spread my wings and take flight. I can't stay in the nest forever. I think parents never really want to think of that day and dread it but they know it'll happen. But I know my mom will be okay,she knows Im an adult and have to make decisions on my own and alhamdulillah she respects it. She never really interferes with my life, she lets me live but of course still gives me advice along the way. I'll still love her no matter where in the world I may be. May Allah make things easy for her and myself. Ameen