On My Way To The Big Apple

Salaam Alaikum everyone. Im be away for about a week, visiting my family in NYC. I will try to post about how things are going, but I doubt Ima get a chance to. Insha'Allah I'll see you when I get back next week. Keep me in your du'as. Im gonna need them.

A little visit

Well Im apparently going back to NY for a little visit. It was a bit unplanned but I guess it'll be a good thing. Its like I want to visit but then I dont want to. Ima bit stressed about it. I talked to my mom about it earlier this morning and it was the weirdest thing. You think she would of been jumping for joy since she hasn't seen me in 4 months. But it wasn't like that at all. She was 'Oh Really?!! Why?' What do you mean why? Im your daughter and your my mom, that's why and I haven't seen you in awhile. She was like okay, so I'll just see you when you get here. Then she went on saying happy belated birthday and asked what I did. I told her I don't celebrate birthdays. When I said there was some awkward silence on the phone, she was probably thinking what is wrong with this girl? She was even surprised that I didnt have a cake or any presents. Then what really thru me for a loop was when my mom said Merry Christmas. I'm like wait a minute, what made her say that. Mind you my mother is Muslim and knows we never ever celebrated Christmas, so why say something like that? I was a bit shocked like what the hell is going on? My husband was really shocked by it too. I just didn't understand it.
Now Im a bit uneasy about going. I love my mom to death, but I know how she is. Yes she knows Im remarried and all that and she's good about it. But I could almost hear the comments already about the whole birthday thing, the way Im dressing (boy can't wait to hear what she says when she sees I wear niqab), and that Im becoming extreme. I can hear it 400 miles away. I guess my best bet is to stay outta the house for as long as possible. It's only a week right?! But its gonna seem like a lifetime. I just don't like dealing with my family. Its one of the reasons I left in the first place. Im happy to see my mom but I know there's gonna be a lot of tension and the endless cycle of why you are doing this and why you are doing that, that I just don't wanna deal with right now. We love are parents but sometimes they can give you a headache to. WE are suppose to love them and respect them, which I do, but I don't agree with a lot the things she says and does. May Allah bless her and guide her to what is right.

Pretty Photo

Just an interesting photo that I found. Who said niqabis can't have fun in the snow?

Let It Rain

I actually like the rain, when Im indoors. But right now I feel like just standing in the rain and letting the raindrops wash away all the negativity, all the hurt, all the pain of yesteryears and come back refreshed, revived, and anew.

I'm Feeling Teal

I'm loving this abaya. I love black abayas with a touch of color. I wouldn't wear those shoes unless I was going to a wedding or get together but they are still pretty Enjoy!!

What's for dinner tonight

I'm proud of myself. I actually made a good dinner, make that great dinner. I was a bit nervous since this is my first time ever cooking a Jamaican dish. I need to stop doubting myself because I know I can cook. That's what recipes are for. So what did I make....Brown Stew Chicken and boy was Oh so good. My husband loves Jamaican food, and he really enjoyed it, so did I. It was really, really good, if only you can smell a picture. Here's the recipe if anyone wants to try it: http://www.jamaicatravelandculture.com/food_and_drink/brown-stew-chicken.htm. Happy cooking. What's next on the menu....Curry Lamb.

Wearing Niqab Again

Alhamdulillah, Ive made the decision to wear niqab again. And I feel great about it. Since I moved, I'm in a bigger Muslim community so I don't have to worry about scaring anyone or being the only one. I think most of the sisters here do wear it, so I'll fit in just perfectly. I went to the masjid this Friday here and 9 outta the 10 sisters wore it. Masha'Allah, Ive never really seen that. Usually its just one or two here and there.
Also since I bought a few more to add to the one I had. I have 2 flip styles, one single layer, and a 2-layer flip style. I actually like the 1-layer style. I think it suits me best. I'm actually surprise that I bought a Velcro band niqab and it fits my big head-lol. The only thing I don't like about it is that you need to be careful when your putting it on because the Velcro can stick to your hijab and could mess it up, depending on the material.
I went out yesterday and I actually didn't get any weird stares. People were actually friendly. The cashier at the supermarket smiled at me and said have a good day. Maybe people are just used to seeing it nowadays. They weren't fearful at all. Thats a good thing I guess. We'll see what happens, but regardless, Im not taking it off this time around. My niqab is here to stay lol. I never knew why I took it off to begin with. I guess I cared more of what other people thought than what I wanted. Now screw what anyone thinks. If you don't like it you can kick rocks.

Another Year

Alhamdulillah, I turn 22 today. Im not a birthday person and I don't celebrate it. Please don't jump on me like your being extreme. But the hadith goes, "If you imitate a people, then you are of them." And celebrating birthdays is an imitation of the disbelievers, so I try to avoid it at all cost. Now whoever celebrates it, Im never gonna point my finger and say oh that's haraam!! To each his own and if thats what you wanna do, Im okay with it. There isnt too much harm in it. But thats besides the point. Everyone has their own opinion and I respect it.
Twenty-two years sounds like a long time, but time has flew by so quickly. A lot has changed within the past year. This day last year I was married to my first husband, 2 months pregnant, couldn't stand anything lol, and learning more about my deen. I was a bit naive back then, but I guess we all go thru it. Im just grateful that Im able to see another year and to be who I am. The year before last on this day, I remember clearly. I had to be to wrok at 6am. Talk about early. Then afterwards I went shopping because I was going out later that night with a few friends to have fun on my birthday. Of course, I was wearing something I shouldn't have. I was one of those hijabis who had on the skinny jeans short shirts, and hijab. What the hell was I thinking. I was so into my looks. I always had to have a nails done, i didnt really wear make-up, but my clothes had to be up to par. Looking back, Im just grateful Allah SWT saved me from myself and saved me from the life I was living. That's the greatest gift I have ever received. Im a completely different person now and I wouldn't go back to who I was for nothing. You'd probably have to kill me before that I ever happened.
And the older you get the wiser you become. Im also learning that no matter how many years of preparation you may have, you are still never ready when a certain situation arises. ts why Ive learned to live in the moment and just take everything as it comes. Im not a planner and never really been. I like things of the spontaneous kind. I know I still I have a lot to learn, insha'Allah with each passing year, I can take one step closer to being closer to Allah.

5 Things

Tagged by Umm Travis

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago

• I was 12 years old, God that was a long time ago, does a 12 year old really do that much?
  
• I was in 7th grade behaving badly with my friends. Those were crazy good times
  
• Just started taking the train by myself to and from school.
  
• Rebelling against my mom for moving away from my dad
• Thinking I was grown since I was no longer in elementary school
  

5 Things On My To-Do List

• Clean, that'll forever be on my list
  
• Read Qur'an
  
• SLEEP!!!!
  
• Eat
• Put away my clothes that have been sitting in my suitcase for the past week.
  

5 Snacks I Like

• Ice Cream, especially Strawberry
  
• Applesauce, the one with cinnamon
  
• Chocolate Chip Cookies fresh from the oven
  
• Cupcakes
  
• Yogurt
  

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire

• Build my own house with an enclosed courtyard and indoor swimming pool
  
• Donate to the masjids and Islamic schools
  
• Save some money
  
• Take several vacations a year
  
• Give money to those who need it
  

5 places I have lived ( for various lengths of times)

• Brooklyn, NY
  
• Queens, NY
  
• North Carolina
  
• Virginia
• 5th place yet to be occupied
  

5 Jobs I have had

• Sales Specialist, Victoria's Secret
  
• Volunteer Office Assistant
  
• Sales Associate, Macy's
  
• Day Care Assistant
  
• Tutor
  

5 people I Tag

• Desert Veil
• Umm Hasan
• Inspired Muslimah
• Aalia at Chasing Jannah
• Humble Muslimah

And anyone else who wants to do it. Have fun!!

Bare with me

Salaams everyone. I know I haven't really posted much. Alhamdulillah I'm fine and if you don't know from my last post but Im actually married right now. Yea thats the big secret. So Im trying to adjust to a new routine and realizing that kids are hardwork, even when they aren't home. Insha'Allah, I'll adjust within the week. Just have to get the swing of things and try to remember that the broom is in the other closet and which cabinet the dishes go in lol. God there's so much to learn. But I couldn't ask for a better life. At least Im constantly busy, which I can't complain about. Hope you all haven't missed me too much. I'll give more details later insha'Allah.

Islamic Survey

Name: Yasmin

Age: 21, bout to be 22 in a couple of days

Location: Some state between NY and VA, USA

Background: African American, Native American, and European

Spouse (if so, name and background): My teddy bear, African American

How long have you been married? Not very long say 72 hours

Kids? None right now, but I have a stepdaughter

Are you a revert? No, but somedays I feel like one.

Have you been to Hajj or Umrah? No, but one day Insha'Allah

How many masaajid have you been to? Way too many to count.

Have you ever been involved with a masjid? Not recently because I keep bouncing around too much.

Who are some of your favorite lectures by? Khalid Yasin, Yasir Birjas, Siraj Wahhaj, Yasir Qadhi

Who are some of your favorite recitors? Mishary Al-`Afasy

Some of your favorite Islamic books? The Wives of the Prophet (SAW), The Sealed Nectar, Stories of the Prophets, and of course The Qur'an.

Describe your most memorable Eid: My most memorable Eids were when I was a child. My parents would by us new clothes and we'd go to the masjid for the Eid prayer and then go out somewhere afterwards. But my favorite Eid was when they had Eid prayer in Prospect Park. To see all those Muslims praying out in the open was a sight to see. SubhanAllah. And then afterwards everyone had a picnic in the park and we got to run around and have a great time with good food and good people.

When did you first start fasting? I think when I was 11, thats when it became wajib on me

When did you start hijab? Since I was 3 years old. I would always wear a hat outisde and in the house, so my mom thought why not put a hijab on her. And Ive been wearing it ever since.

What's your usual outift like when you go out? Abaya, shayla and niqab, the basics.

What do you like about blogging? I love having a place where I can express my thoughts and feelings and reading about other people's lives and experiences. Its crazy how we all can relate to each other one way or another. I also love connecting with sisters all around the world and celebrating in that diversity.

Describe your first feelings wearing hijab
Hijab: Umm...Ive been wearing it since 3 so its become apart of me. I'd feel naked without it. I een sometimes to take it off in the house. Its stuck to me like glue.
Abayah: So this is what Ive been missing?lol. It was so comfortable and chic. Before I started wearing it, I thought you should only wear an abaya to Jumuah. But then it started to become hard to find modest clothes that would cover up certain parts. It made life so much easier. An instant outfit, throw on a matching shayla and shoes, and you're ready to go. I'll never leave home without it
Niqaab: Alhamdulillah, Ive made the decision to wear it again (well I havent really been out the house, so next time I definitely will). I had started wearing it during my first marriage because I got sick and tired of all the little comments like..hey sexy and people staring into my face. I always found niqab to be beautiful, so when I put it on I felt so good. I was in my own little world and I never felt out of place. I thought everyone else around me were the weird ones.

How do you pin your hijab? Basic shayla style. I really hate to pin my hijab under my chin because I feel like its going to choke me. The only time I pin it is if my hijab keeps coming loose or Im wearing a square style hijab, but even then I pin that on the top of my head to because my head looks funny if I leave it down.

What was on the last prayer mat you made salah on? Hmm...it was brown and I cant remember the design. I think it had two columns on it.

What's your ideal iftar? A cold glass of water and dates.

What type of adhaan really gets to you? I can still hear my dad calling the adhaan in my head, even though its been years. It use to give me the shivers. I miss it sooo much.

What's something that annoys you at Jummah: When people start talking during the khutbah or yelling at their kids. Don't you know your not suppose to talk while the khatib is speaking??

What was the last surah you read? (not recited in salah) Surah Yusuf

Do you dry yourself after wudu? Yea I always due, but then I need lotion because my face feels dry afterwards.

Do you brush your teeth for fajr salah? Sometimes.

Whats the last Islamic thing you've been involved with? I cant think of anything right now.

What was the last convention you went to? YEARS ago and I dont even remember what it was about. Thats how long its been.

Have you ever been part of an Islamic matrimonial site? Actually yes. Thats how I met my last husband. Maybe I should have stayed away. But everything happens for a reason.

What color is the rug in the masjid you usually attend? I believe it to be green or was it red. I've only been to the masjid here once.

Is the masjid you usually attend separated? It's one building where the men pray in one room and the women pray in another. And they have separate entrances which I like a lot.

Have you ever stood in a minbar? Yea when I was younger in Islamic school. They had the masjid downstairs and my friends and I were playing around and acting like we were the shaykh giving the khutbah. SubhanAllah I know we were making fun of him. May Allah forgive us.

Have you ever washed a dead body before? No, I dont plan on it. I know I'd be too scared.

What's the last thing you ate in the masjid? Candy lol.

Where's the strangest place you've seen a Muslim working? At a restaurant behind the bar. A Muslim serving alcohol, lovely.

Have you ever posted a flier in the masjid? Never did.

Rate your masjid's bathroom: Haven't seen it yet.

Have you ever used a bidet for istinja?: IS a bidet one of those spray hose things? If so yeah. In school we used them as water guns and sprayed each other with them.

What's the weirdest thing that happened to you in salah? When I was coming up from sujood, my abaya got caught under my feet and ended up ripping my abaya. Luckily it wasn't a big rip, but it sure sounded like one.

Isn't it annoying when the imam tells everyone to shut off their cell phones and someone's phone rings in the middle of salah? Yea. I actually forgot to turn my phone off last jumuah, since I came late and luckily it didnt ring until after prayer was over. Whew!!

What's some of the best halal food you've had (from a non Muslim country)? Oh God, could I name just one. There are so many in NY. Where Im at now, I havent had any yet.

What was it like when you found out skittles were haram? I couldnt let go of the bag because skittles were my favorite candy. I just ended up giving it away to someone.

What's something haram that you think most people don't know? Hmm good question. When I think of one, I'll get back on it.

What's the craziest hijabi fashion you've seen? Oh I just love the super skinny jeans with the tank top and a headscarf. So chic lol (im being sarcastic just in case it didn't come across)

What did you like about this survey?? I really liked it. Good, straight forward questions and no retarted questions like who was your last boyfriend.

I've Found the New Me

Salaam Alaikum everyone. I hope that all you had a wonderful Eid. Sorry I've been away for awhile. Ive been soo busy trying to get things done, and kinda vacationing lol. I went to ATL last weeik and I had soo much fun. IT was great to see my friend that I havent seen in such along time. I didnt wanna leave but insha'Allah next time she'll visit me.
Alhamdulillah, Im feeling good and have made a lot of progress. A lot has happened this weekend, but I cant yet share it with you, but I can say it was a big transition. In time I'll say. Im finally away from my ex-husband and it feels oh so good. Im not back in NY, but somewhere else, location undisclosed. Im happy, healthy, and very positive. Surely Allah SWT has answered my du'as. Patience does pay off. My iman is so high right now and insha'Allah it stays that way. This is surely the end of a horrible chapter and the beginning of a new one. I have been able to take the time to analyze myself and what I want outta life. So now I can say Ive figured out what I wanted and my ex-husband never fit into that picture. I guess I was just in denial for a long time, trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed. Alhamdulillah, I don't regret anything that has happened, but I see it as a great blessing. I benefited both of us. We got to see what we both needed and wanted. We got to find our true selves and what made us happy and Im truly grateful for it. So its out with the old and in with the new. And oh yea, my iddah is over, so Im a free woman, for now lol. Im starting a new journey and insha'Allah you'll be there with every step of the way, insha'Allah. May Allah SWT bless you all.

Now I have a lot of catching up to with reading blogs. Hope I havent missed much lol. Love you all

Is it Lamb or Sheep?

I was wondering earlier about the difference between a lamb and a sheep? Are they the same? They both say Baaa, lol. But I found the answer. A lamb is a baby or young sheep less than 12 months old. Anything older is considered a sheep. So then it got me thinking again, you eat lamb, you never hear anyone say I'm eating sheep, lol (that cracks me up). Well again, the answer to that puzzling thought is that sheep meat is called mutton, while baby sheep is called lamb. Guess, Im having mutton for dinner tonight.

My Eid

Alhamdulillah, today was a prety good day. The morning started off a bit cold, but warmed up. I always seem to wake up earlier than normal on Eid. I think its just the excitement and anticipation of it. Or maybe it might be cause Im still sick. I was up way before fajr, making breakfast, getting everything together. Im just happy I got to wear my pretty abaya. We left a little late but alhamdulillah got there about 10 min. before the started the prayer. I saw a few sisters I know, you know how that goes.
I wasn't planning on going to watch the brothers sacrifice the animals, but I did. I still can't believe that I actually went and that my stomach was able to handle it. It was me and 2 other sisters and their kids. I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. It was a bit funny at first because the sheep were running all around, trying to knock down the gate. But I actually watched it when they slit their throats. It was horrible when they were still moving around afterwards. Then they went to hacking at the sheep. I dont think that was too bad, well yeah cuz I was standing at a distance. So now I have some of it in the oven cooking and all I can hear right now is BAAAA!! lol. We gave some away already and the hubby went to go spend time with some brothers. My Eid will continue tomorrow in ATL with a few friends. Can't wait!! Insha'Allah everyone had a wonderful Eid

Eid Mubarak

Wishing all my lovely readers a very blessed Eid full of joy, happiness, love, and mercy. May Allah reward you and grant you Jannah. Love you all for the sake of Allah.

I Caught A Cold

Its cold season and its just caught up to me. My head is so congested I cant think properly and I swear Im gonna cough up a lung or two. I never knew my body contained sooo much mucus and it stil keeps on running. Ahh the wonderful human body!! Insha'Allah I'll feel better soon. Hopefully before I go to ATL Tuesday. Yep, another getaway. Don't you just love those??! Ima try fasting tomorrow, thats if my body lets me. I pray Allah gives me the strength.

Purple Fever

Purple Fever by muslimaheyes

I absolutely love the color purple. It really compliments my skin tone. Its my happy color and Im feeling pretty purplish right now. Im not gasping for air or have severe frostbite lol. What do you think?

Abaya from al-ikhlas for $53.00 (actually all there abayas are half off until friday, just enter code "Eid2008" when checking out)

Lace gloves from forever21.com

So How Long Is My Iddah?

This has been a question I had since I got divorced. Okay just to make things clear, I was divorced by khula, meaning Im the one who initiated the divorce, why you may ask? Its very complicated. So, I know the iddah of a woman who was divorced by talaaq (when the husband ask for the divorce) is three menstrual cycles.

Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what God Hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in God and the Last Day. ... 2:228

So now what about a woman who was divorce by khula?

From what I read and researched and from asking the Imam, the iddah is one menstrual cycle. Even though the scholars differ on this point, majority of them say its only one month.

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim.

Here's a fatwa from islamqa.com and that I also read in Fataawa Islamiyyah give by Shaykh Ibn Baaz:
If a wife asks her husband for a khula and he accepts, how long is the waiting period?Is it irrevocable i.e can they ever re-marry?

Praise be to Allaah.

If the woman who has been divorced by khula’ is pregnant then her ‘iddah lasts until she gives birth, according to scholarly consensus. Al-Mughni, 11/227.

But if she is not pregnant, the scholars differed concerning her ‘iddah. Most of the scholars said that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, because of the general meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

But the correct view is that it is sufficient for a woman divorced by khula’ to wait for one menstrual cycle, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays, when she divorced him by khula’, to wait out the ‘iddah for one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 946). This hadeeth refers specifically to khula’ divorce whereas the aayah quoted above speaks of divorce in general. But if she waits out an ‘iddah of three menstrual cycles that will be more complete and will be on the safe side, and will avoid an area of scholarly dispute, as some scholars say that she should wait for three menstrual cycles, based on the aayah quoted.
Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/286.
There is nothing wrong with them remarrying with a new marriage contract.

And here is another one:

Does iddah imply when it is the woman who is seeking the divorce (khula).

Praise be to Allaah.

1 – Khula’ – in principle – can only occur at the request of the wife, and with the husband’s subsequent agreement to end the marriage.
2 – ‘Iddah is obligatory upon every woman who leaves her husband, or whose husband leaves her, whether the cause is talaaq (divorce), annulment of the marriage or the death of the husband, except when the divorce occurs before the marriage has been consummated, in which case the woman does not have to observe ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘Iddah [divorce prescribed period] have you to count in respect of them”[al-Ahzaab 33:49]

3 – With regard to the ‘iddah following khula’, the correct scholarly view is that it is one menstrual cycle, as is indicated by the Sunnah.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ended her marriage to her husband by means of khula’ at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded her to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle. (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1185; Abu Dawood, 2229. Also narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3497) from the hadeeth of al-Rabee’ bint ‘Afra’. The two hadeeth were both classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim, as we shall see below).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

In the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the woman who ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ to observe an ‘iddah of one menstrual cycle, there is evidence for two rulings:

The first is that she does not have to wait for three menstrual cycles, rather one menstrual cycle is sufficient. Just as this is clearly the Sunnah, it was also the view of Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh and her paternal uncle, who was one of the greatest Sahaabah. We do not know of anyone who held a different opinion, as al-Layth ibn Sa’d narrated that Naafi’ the freed slave of Ibn ‘Umar heard al-Rabee’ bint Mu’awwadh ibn ‘Afra’ telling ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that she had ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ at the time of ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, and her paternal uncle had come to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan and said, The daughter of Mu’awwadh ended her marriage to her husband by khula’ today, so should she move (from the marital home)? ‘Uthmaan said, She should move, and there is no inheritance between them, and she does not have to observe any ‘iddah, but she should not remarry until one menstrual cycle has passed, lest she be pregnant. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: and ‘Uthmaan was the best of us and the most knowledgeable.

This view was also shared by Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh and Imaam Ahmad, according to one report narrated from him. It was also the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.
Those who supported this view said: this is in accordance with the principles of sharee’ah. The ‘iddah (in the case of talaaq) was made three menstrual cycles in order to lengthen the time during which the husband may take back his wife, so that the husband will have enough time to rethink the matter and to be able to take his wife back during this time. But in the case of khula’ the wife is not going to go back and the purpose is simply to establish whether she is pregnant or not, so one menstrual cycle is sufficient. They said: this does not contradict the ruling that the ‘iddah for a woman divorced by talaaq is three months. In the case of divorce the ‘iddah is the same whether it is a final talaaq or a revocable talaaq.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/196, 197

Some scholars said that the ‘iddah for a woman who ends her marriage to her husband by khula’ is three menstrual cycles, as in the case of one who is divorced by talaaq, but this was expertly refuted by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, who said:

What indicates that khula’ is not the same as talaaq is the fact that in the case of a revocable talaaq after consummation of the marriage, there are specific rulings which are not applicable in the case of khula’.
1. That the husband has more right to take her back.
2. When the husband issues a talaaq, is it counted as one of three, and after the third it is not permissible for the wife to go back to him until she has been married to another man and that marriage has been consummated.
3. ‘Iddah in the case of talaaq is three menstrual cycles.
So the ‘iddah in the case of khula’ is what is indicated by the Sunnah, namely one menstrual cycle.

And Allaah knows best.

So from my understanding, my iddah is only one month/ menstrual cycle. And Allah SWT knows best. At least that means I can move on sooner than expected. Insha'Allah, may Allah make it easy for me.

*****Edit: I spoke to my Imam and a student of knowledge, and they both said my iddah is only one menstrual cycle. That makes things a bit clearer*******

Back from my break

Sorry for not blogging in awhile. I just took a mini-vacation (just for the weekend). I got back not that long ago and at least now I can say Im thinking a lot clearer. Ahh the good things that can take place in a couple of days. ALhamdulillah Im feeling a bit better, and I think Im ready to move on and start life. Now the question is how? Insha'Allah only time will tell. But Im definitely on the move. We''ll see where life takes me. I'll keep you posted. Love you all for the sake of Allah.

Sorry for the hiatus

I know I havent blogged in a couple of days. Just taking sometime to myself trying work on me (mostly been blogging on my private blog). Tryna let everything go, and just focus on things that are more important, like my ibaadah. Alhamdulillah, Im doing okay. Im learning to be less emotional and focus my feelings to other things. Im just emotionally attaching myself from everything. And alhamdulillah its working. Just one step at a time, thats all it takes. Im not worrying about anything anymore. Whatever happens, happens and I'll accept it. Yeah I have a few bad moments, but I just brush them off and keep on moving. I know Im a strong person and Ive been through alot and I'll be able to get through this as well. Im on my way back to me.

I was tagged by Umm Travis from Tea Break Thoughts. Insha'Allah I'll get to it soon. Love you all for the sake of Allah.

Eid Outfit

Alhamdulillah, I can't wait for Eid, which is actually in a few weeks. Its crazy how time flies. It seems like Eid-ul-Fitr was yesterday. Its the first time in a long time that I have something new to wear for it. Insha'Allah this is what I'll be wearing:

A wonderful sister bought this for me from Egypt (thanks again). I absolutely love it. The picture isn't that great of quality, but its a deep purple, with beautiful detailing. I love the hood as well, which Im going to pin to my hijab (I forgot to add it in the pic). I can't wait to wear it, even though I have worn in around the house in some cases because I like it soo much.

Now the only problem what shoes am I going to wear with it? I got these black satin ballet flats that look cute with it, but we'll see.

Close Call

I came very close to deleting my blog last night. I swear, I was so ready to hit the delete blog button. I just became overwhelmed with everything. THere were a few things said last night, not on my blog but made by someone else that kinda hurt me. I then was reading thru my blog last night and going thru old post wondering what happened to the days that I felt like that. I broke down crying after I read one of my post titled A Hug Goes A Long Way. I couldnt help it because its not that way anymore. The excitement that I felt when I first got married, how happy I was, how blessed I felt, its turned into sadness, anger, but alhamdulillah I am still blessed. You just never know what the future may hold, all you can do is ask Allah SWT to help prepare you for whatever that may come your way. And I was totally not prepared for this in the least. Im not ready to move, Im not ready to let go. There's still so much to say and do that I don't want to stop. These are some other things that I read in my blog that made me cry.

I feel blessed. Insha'Allah, I'll feel like this everyday of my marriage, which I hope it'll be til the day I die. Until next time from my fairy tale come true

I hope that I won't have to go through the heartache and pain of divorce again, that this is my final marriage. I pray to be with my husband til the day Allah calls us back to Him. And Allah knows best. For now Im still counting towards it being forever.

Like I said I never saw it coming, caught completely off guard. But I guess that's life. You get knocked down and you have the choice whether to stay down or get back up and brush yourself off and keep moving. I always try to remember what Allah SWT says in the Qur'an

Fa inna ma'al 'usri yusra

Inna ma'al 'usri yusra

Verily, along with every hardship is relief.

Verily, along with every hardship is relief. (Surat Ash-Sharh, v. 5-6)

And also the words of our beloved Prophet (SAW):

“There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that touches the believer, even the pricking of a thorn, except that Allah decrees a good for him or effaces one of his sins because of that.” (Sahih Muslim, V. 4, Hadith # 6241)

If I constantly remember that, I'll be okay. Im getting there.

Where Im at Now

I know its been a couple of days since I posted. Im still just trying to sort things out. Everything is still a but hard and emotional for me. Im just taking everything day by day with the help of Allah SWT to guide me. Nothing has really changed, everything is still the same. The pain is still there, but its a bit subsided. I feel it a little less. Im still a bit angry but Im starting to accept everything and just trying to put things into perspective. Im looking forward to the next month. Insha'Allah I'll have a lot of time to myself to think about things and see where life takes me. I still hope for my husband and I to work things out, Im still holding on to that little hope because you never what could happen but Im not holding too tight. May Allah guide us both to what is best.

Black Sequins

I absolutely love this sequin covered jacket from Forever21. And the price is absolutely amazing, only $27.80. Not bad. You can dress it up, dress it down. I would wear it over a black abaya to glam it up a bit.

Rainy Night Ramblings

I can't really sleep, haven't been able to do that much lately, so I thought I would just write. At least its comforting and helpful when I have so much on my mind. I think I always get that way when its raining. Its thundering and lightning and the rain is coming down hard. Its actually kind of soothing. *Sighs* God I have so much on my mind right now. Im thinking about everything that is going and finding ways to come to terms with everything. My soon to be ex-husband and I had went out today, well to jumuah and to run errands and it was a hard thing to do. I still him as my husband. Everytime I look at his face, it still puts a smile on my face. The way he looks at things, the way he smiles, I still notice all these little things and it makes it hurt just that much more. I mean he is still acting the same, he still looks the same, so it seems like nothing has changed. We still laugh together and talk. I remember today, when I was getting my glasses we were sitting down waiting for them too bring the frames and I just stared at him asking myself is it really over? Is it? This man that Im so fond of? Could he really have meant what he said? Is there anyway for all this to work? A million questions and thoughts popped into my head. Subhanallah, the way I feel about this man if he but knew. I still like Im his wife and he kinda still treats me like I am. Right now we seem like best friends. I see something when I look at him, there's this feeling that comes over me and it just draws me closer to him. Its been that way for as long as I can remember. I mean he has his quirky, weird ways but I think thats what I like about him is because he's different. Ya rabbi, all this stuff came pouring into my head all I one moment and I can't stop feeling this way. Why? Shouldn't I be angry at him, cursing him, not talking to him? I can't. I don't have it in me. I still care about him soo much. I think thats what makes it harder. I want all this to work but I just don't know how. I look at him and see all the things that could be, things that would make our life happy. Maybe its just wishful thinking, maybe Im just dreaming a bit too much. Maybe Im just hoping too much knowin good and well its hopeless. I should let go but par of me won't let me. Im still holding on, being patient hoping everything will get better. Only Allah knows and insha'Allah I pray things will get better.

Im sorry if what I wrote makes absolutely no sense, but I just needed to get that all out.

My New Glasses

I can finally see again, well I'll be able to finally see on Monday when I go to pick them up. I absolutely love them. I wanted something different, non-traditional. They're a new brand (well I dont think they are) called Vogue, yes like the magazine. The spokesperson for them is Giselle Bundshen. You might seen ads in some fashion magazines. I wanted these DKNY frames but of course they never have what I want. At least Im happy now, we'll see how long that last..anyways

Do you like?

Where Im At Right Now

Divorce has many emotional stages:-

Denial: "This is not happening to me. It's all a
misunderstanding. It's just a midlife crisis. We can work it
out."
Anger and resentment: "How can he [she] do this
to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? This is not fair!"
Bargaining: "If you'll stay, I'll change" or "If I agree to
do it [money, childrearing, sex, whatever] your way, can we get back
together?"
Depression: "This is really happening, I
can't do anything about it, and I don't think I can bear it."
Acceptance: "Okay, this is how it is, and I'd rather accept
it and move on than wallow in the past."

[source]

I've been throught the denial part. I think I'm still kind of denying it. Ive done the bargaining, trying to find some way to make it all work, hoping it was just phase or thinking we just needed more time.

Right now, Im at the anger and resentment part. Im just soo angry at him right now. I feel like why did you marry me in the first place if this was the case. I really feel like beating the crap outta something. May someone find me a punching bag?? Im serious!!

Im tryna keep my anger under control. A'udhu billahi minas Shaytanir Rajeem. I even started to lash out at him earlier and tried to pick a fight, maybe try to make him feel bad because of everything which wasn't a smart thing to do, but at least I apologized.
We'll see how the next stage goes.

Yâ hayyu yâ qayyüm, bi rahmatika astaghithu

(O You, the Everlasting and All-Sustainer, persistently do I invoke Your mercy)

‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi
yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin
huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan
min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana
rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi

(O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female
slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and
Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You
named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your
creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that
You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a
departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)

Ameen

Feelings

I cried soo hard last night. I can't remember the last time I ever cried like that. Im just sad, angry, but most of all hurt. Im feeling the hurt more than anything else. I think the reality of everything has sunk in and it completely sucks. I hate feeling this way but right now I can't help it. I wish things were different. I wish I didn't feel this way. I feel like doing nothing but crying, like there is just a dark cloud hovering over me everywhere I go. May Allah ease my pain.

Guess The 2nd Time isn't a Charm.

Well where do I start? There is so much to say.*sighs* Here I go. Ive decided, well mutually decided to end our marriage (we decided to just end it by khula). I know it seems so sudden and you may say you've only been married a month? But trust me this was the right thing to do. The reason why is becaus it started to turn into a loveless marriage. Why continue to be with someone that has very little attraction to you. You need that in order to make a marriage work. Love, emotion, all plays into that factor and it was surely lacking. Im kinda suprise that Im taking this well, I guess becuase I saw it coming but just didn't want to admit to it. We are just not meant for each other. We are two different people who see things different ways.
Am I hurt? Yeah I cant lie about that because its the last thing I wanted, especially me being married before and that ending in divorce, for good reason. I know this happened for the best. At least we were honest with each other instead of carrying on acting like everything was okay when it really wasnt. I would of felt deceived then. I mean we weren't mean to each other, we never hurt each other, none of that craziness. Some things just dont work out, some people are just not meant to be together. Im accepting of what Allah has decreed even though I wish things were different. Alhamdulillah he is a great man, very respectful, religious. I have nothing bad to say about him and never will. But I guess I need more outta of marriage and he saw he wasn't giving me what I deserved. So instead of being miserable, we just let it go. There's no hard feelings at all. And we've talked through everything and everything will be find. I'll be okay. Life goes on and there's probably someone better out there for me, just haven't found them yet. Insha'Allah I will. But Im not gonna fret I put my trust in Allah. Hopefully the third time is a charm.

Fall Colors

Have you ever just sat back and watched the world outside you? How amazing the creation of Allah is? Im really loving the fall right now. Where I live there are so many trees around, not like how it was in NY, tree here, tree there. Here I feel like Im living in a forest somewhere and its absolutely beautiful. Everytimw Im driving with my husband and cant help but stare out the window and daydream. I love looking at all the gorgeous colors of trees, from the yellows, reds, oranges. It almost looks the trees are on fire. I wish the trees would stay that solor all year long. It really brightens up the world. Too bad all the leaves are gonna fall off and die and the trees will be bare. Thank God for Evergreens. Mentioning trees, I need to find out what kind of trees are here in NC. They are tall and very skinny, and look like the slightest gust of air might knock them over. But they are cute, not really an eyesore. I love nature minus all the bugs. If it werent for that I would lie in the grass and roll around. Here's an outfit inspired by fall....



Fall colors by muslimaheyes

Just Another Random Post

Im feeling so down and out today, why, I have no idea. I don't feel doing anything. I struggled to get up this morning, my body was aching, I had to force myself to pray (subhanAllah), I didn't wanna talk to my husband, I didnt even wanna be around him. Even last night before I went to bed, I locked the bedroom door so he wouldn't come in. Yea its bad. Did he do something? Maybe or maybe it's just me letting out my anger in a very quiet way. Sometimes I feel like I have some type of resentment towards him for no reason, like Im angry at him. Maybe its a deeper issue. maybe its because I feel like Im not being treated how I need to be treated. Just make dua for me.

Am I Dreaming or Was History Just Made???

Barack Obama will be the 44th president of the United States of America.

I just gained a new found hope for this country.

Congragulations!!!WooooooHoooooooo!!

A Mother's Advice

I had received a really sweet email from my mother, may Allah bless her. I got soo emotional after reading it. We try to talk at least every other day, but she is a very busy woman. She works 2 jobs and I don't know how she does it. She's such a strong woman that I'd admire and respect so much. We've had differnces but she's always been there for me when ever I needed her. And being so far away from her makes me sad, but I know she's only a plane ride away. I love my mom so much and I know for sure she loves me.

Waikum as Salaam,

My crazy but loving daughter,

It's good to hear from you. Everything here is the same, but I miss you. But, I'm truly glad that everything is going well. I sincerely hope that you and [hubby's name goes here] have a wonderful life together. Remember to be considerate and patience with one another. Always be truthful and talk out your problems or disagreements. And most importantly try never to go to bed angry. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR ROAD TEST. Insha'llah you'll be a licensed CRAZY driver.
Please give [hubby's name goes here] my Salaams and to PLEASEEEEEEEE! send me at least one picture. It would be nice to see you soon, but if you don't come to NY, then maybe I might be able to make it down there. Well bye for now. Talk to you soon!

Love Always,
Mom

Elegance

It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. So what do I do? I get creative! Hope you like as much as I do.



Enjoy!!

The Color of Love

Im now addicted to polyvore. I love how you can put together outfits. This outfit is somewhat of my personal style. Red is my favorite color. It just brightens up my day. Now all I need is a red coat and I'll be good to go.

It'll all come back to you

I went to jumu'ah last friday, and the imam gave a khutbah about sincerity in your deen. He went to say how to achieve that is by giving sadaqah. I can't find the exact hadith he used, but when I find I'll put it here. So after jumuah, my husband and I ran some errands, I had to go to the eye doctor to get anew prescription for glasses, and so on.

So we had went to the mall to kinda comparison shop for frames that I'd liked. I found one but didnt get them because I wanted to look at another store, but they were closed. As we were walking in the car, my husband wanted to see something in J.C. Penney. So while we there, he was looking at some shirts, I wondered in to the handbag section which was very near. Handbags are a girls thirdbest friend, right after diamonds and shoes.

While I was looking around, my husband comes up to me, showed me a card and asked if it was a real J.C. Penney gift card (I used to work at JC Penney), I said yeah why? Some guy was talking to my husband saying that he'd sell him the gift card and other things I couldn't really hear. Automatically I thought it was a scam, but they kept talking. My husband isn't naive about things, he has that businessman mentality. Afterwards, my husband tells me to get whatever bad I wanted and he'd be right back. Now Im wondering what in the world is going on? Who is this guy and what does he want? I didn't like the guy because he asked my husband if I was his mother!!! Can you believe that?! Maybe because my husband just looked young that day.

Anyways, Im sitting here thing in my mind trying to figure out was going on. I finally picked out a bag and my husband took everything to the checkout and paid for everything. I asked my husband what just happened not like I really wanted to know. But he told me that the guy was stranded and didn't have any money to get home. So he had a $200 gift card that he wanted to sell for $140. My husband talked him down to $85 and the guy accepted. So thats why they were talking for a long time. Luckily it wasn't a scam. I know my husband is smarter than that. But alhamdulillah everything worked out for us. The bill came out to a little over $200, and with the gift card, brought it down to almost nothing. So we basically got $200 worth of stuff for $100, thats half off. Im not complaining because I got the bag I really wanted.

So you're wondering how does this all relate? I kinda gave you the long version of the story but as we were walking to the car my husband had told me that he had given sadaqah at the masjid.

Allah says:“The likeness of those who spend for Allah’s sake is as the likeness of a grain of corn, it grows seven ears every single ear has a hundred grains, and Allah multiplies (increases the reward of) for whom He wills, and Allah is sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knower).” (Surat Al-Baqarah.v:261)

So whatever you give in sadaqah, it'll will come back to you multiplied. I had said to myself, boy was that fast. That is the mercy of Allah. He gives to whom He wills and takes from who He wills. So why do we hold back from giving sadaqah when we know it'll be returned to as more than what we put out. We don't even have to spend a dime in order for it to be considered as charity. Your time, performing good deeds, even something as simple as a smile is sadaqah. Here are a few Ahadith about sadaqah:

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “To smile in the company of your brother is charity. To command to do good deeds and to prevent others from doing evil is charity. To guide a person in a place where he can not get astray is charity. To remove troublesome things like thorns and bones from the road is charity. To pour water from your jug into the jug of your brother is charity. To guide a person with defective vision is charity for you.” (Bukhari)

Hudhaifah (ra) narrated that the Prophet (saw) said, "Every favor done is a Sadaqah (charity)."

Abu Hurairah narrated that “Abu Dharr said to the Messenger of Allah, ‘The wealthy people have all the rewards; they pray as we pray; they fast as we fast; and they have surplus wealth which they give in charity; but we have no wealth which we may give in charity.’ Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: ‘Abu Dharr, should I not teach you phrases by which you acquire the rank of those who excel you? No one can acquire your rank except one who acts like you.’ He said, Why not, Allah’s Messenger (SAW)? He said: ‘Exalt Allah say: "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is Most Great) after each prayer thirty-three times; and praise Him say: "Alhamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah) thirty-three times; and glorify Him say: "Subhan Allah" (Glory be to Allah) thirty-three times; and end it by saying, "La ilâha illallâhu wahdahu la shareeka lahu, lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu yuhyi wa yomeetu wa Huwa ‘ala kulli shai’in Qadeer." ( There is no god but Allah alone, He has no partner, to Him belongs the Kingdom, to Him praise is due and He has power over everything.) Your sins will be forgiven, even if they are like the foam of the sea.’” (Abu Dawud)


Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said, “Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your cause’, and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.’” (Bukhari)

May Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful give us opportunities to do many ways of giving sadaqah for His pleasure and reward us best life, especially in the Hereafter. May we spend our lives, time, money and efforts or everything in us to do deeds that Allah accepts as forms of sadaqah solely for His Sake. May our Rabb save us from the Hell-Fire by protecting us from being miser. Ameen.

A Month and Counting Towards Forever

Alhamdulillah, today makes a month that Ive been married. It seems like only yesterday I got married. So far it's been a good experience and something that has made me grow a bit more as a person. Being able to share my life and dreams with someone else, always having someone there to talk to is such an amazing feeling. A feeling that I thought I would never be able to feel after my last marriage.

My last marriage was such a struggle, a struggle to keep my head above water. All it was doing was pulling me down so far to the point I was so ready to give up and drown me. I'm just so glad to be away from that, to get a new fresh start with someone who was truly ready to be married and share his life with me. I feel amazingly blessed. Allah has blessed me with so much that Im grateful for. When things seemed to be going downhill or I lost my sense of direction, Allah has kept me guided. Just looking back a month or two til now, I really see that patience really pays off. Even when there seems like all hope is lost, it never is. I realize you go through things to make you stronger and sometimes what you think is best for you really isn't. Allah knows what is best for you and Ive learned to put my complete trust in Him because he will never lead me astray.

I may be young but Ive definitely been through a lot and learned a lot. Marriage isn't easy, it takes a lot of work and commitment,but it surely is fulfilling. You have good days and you have bad days, but at the end of the day what matters is that you love that person and they make you happy. To be able to sit back and just think of what makes that person wonderful and to know that they care about you makes it a little easier. I think the secret to making a marriage successful is to keep it fresh. Always trying new things, even though routine is helpful, but its always those little surprises that make the day. And also knowing that marriage is a partnership and not a dictatorship. You both need to work together in order to make it work. And of course never forgetting about Allah. That should always be the first thing, knowing that Allah brought you two together and put love and mercy between each other.

Insha'Allah, I hope that I won't have to go through the heartache and pain of divorce again, that this is my final marriage. I pray to be with my husband til the day Allah calls us back to Him. And Allah knows best. For now Im still counting towards it being forever.

A Nice Reminder

My husband had emailed me this yesterday (yes my husband and I email each other and we live in the same house lol) and I thought I'd share it with you

Upon you is the Taqwâ of Allâh if you are heedless..... He brings you provisions from where you do not know

So how do you fear poverty and Allâh is the Provider..... And he has provided for the birds and the fish in the sea

So whoever thinks that the provisions come with power..... Then the sparrow does not eat anything with the eagle

Then decrease from the Dunya for you do not know..... If the night comes to you will you stay until the sunrise

For how man healthy ones died without any disease..... And how many sick ones lived for a long age

So how many of the young men become and grow up laughing..... And he was sufficed with the unknown from harm and he did not know

So who has lived one thousand or two thousand..... then no doubt one day he'll walk to the Grave

"Whoever thinks about this worldly life and the hereafter would know that he will never gain either of them except by hardship. He should bear this hardship in order to gain the best and more lasting of them" -Ibnul Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah, from the book Al-Fawaa'id

I've Been Burned

Let's see how many times have I burned myself today:-

• Burned myself with hot water in the shower
• Burned my mouth with green tea, maybe next time I should of let it cool down a bit.
• Taking the laundry outta the dryer
• While cooking, TWICE, need to learn not to touch the pot in the oven without oven mits/ and watch out for boiling water.
• And the steam from the iron

Maybe Im just too hot today lol

I really need to stop messing with hot things. Luckily no burn marks.

This reminds me of the time I literallyt branded myself when I was 11 year old. I was working in my dad's restaurant making french fries. I went to take the french fries out of the deep fryer and was shaking the excess oil off of them. Outta nowhere the basket bounces off the back of the deep fryer and hits me on my chin. I tried everything, and I ended up with a scar that look exactly like the Nike logo. My brothers kept making fun of me saying that Im property of Nike now lol. I walked around for weeks with my hijab covering my chin. Now the scar is barely noticeable.

It seems I haven't learned my lesson with hot things yet.

I'm Officially a Driver...well almost

I just got my learner's permit yesterday. Yay for me!!! So now I can LEGALLY learn how to drive. Ive been practicing for the longest and Im already prepared to take my road test. Hell, I should just take it tomorrow. Well I'll give it 2 weeks then take it. Better to be prepared right? No need to rush it.

The only thing I don't like about having my permit is my picture. I made the biggest mistake. When I was leaving the house it just completely slipped my mind that I have to take a photo for my permit, otherwise I would have re thought about the hijab I wore. I had on a white underscarf, with a black shayla. Something similar to the picture but without the designs:

Now Im not saying that its bad to wear that combination, it looks pretty chic. But when you have a big head like me, white just makes it look a lot bigger and on camera it just magnifies it even more. So you could only imagine what my photo looks like. My head takes up the whole space.

Now Im wondering if I could retake it, hmm...........

Niqab vs. Batman

Have any of you who wear niqab ever had a child ask you that or thought you were some superhero or villian? Well not the batman part, but why was I wearing a mask, it's not halloween yet. Kids....gotta love them.

I'm Missing My Niqab

No I haven't lost my niqab nor did I destroy it. I just miss wearing it. I felt so secure in it. If you ever been to NY you could understand my reason why I wore it. Men have no shame, especially a lot of Muslim men (not all of them), and they used to always say things about how pretty I was or tried to give me their number, all that crap. I took it off mainly for work and those comments started to come back but I just dealt with it. Now Im living somewhere where I don't really need it. People are a lot more respectful and have manners. I haven't had that stare or weird look from people. I still wear my abaya and haven't heard anything.

So Im wondering will it still be the same here if I wore niqab?

I don't really think so. I live in a military town. There is an army base and air force base right where I live (my husband used to be in the air force so that's why we are here til he finishes his degree). And there isn't a big Muslim community at all. Sometimes I feel my husband and I are the only ones. I know people will start being uncomfortable and give me the 'stare' if they saw me with my face covered. They might start with the whole terrorist thing. Boy have I heard that soo many times.

My husband says its my choice if I want to do it and he wouldn't care either way as long as I was happy. Im just torn between should I do it or should I not. I don't really care what people say to an extent, but I just don't wanna put either of us in a bad predicament. I just miss the beauty of it, how good I felt that no one else could see me besides my family, how I felt like I was in my own little world all my own .

So I guess I wont wear it for now, until we move to a bigger city next year, where there is a bigger Muslim population. There is certainly strength in numbers, I guess. I think we see others doing it and being around other Muslims, it gives you the motivation to do it. We'll see what happens.

A Hug Goes a Long Way

I absolutely love hugs. It makes me feel all happy and warm and fuzzy. I remember before I married my husband, he had asked me what made me happy and I said hugs. So I was in my bedroom watching TV because my hubby was doing homework in the living room, so I didn't wanna disturb him.
All of sudden he comes in the rooms and just gives me the biggest bear hug and I started kissing my face. I said what was that for? He says I know hugs make you happy and I wanna see you happy and I love when you are in my arms cuz that makes me happy. I wanted to cry and it put the biggest smile ever.
This is why I love him, the little things he does. He isn't perfect, no one is, but I accept him for who he is. Even thought we dont sleep in the same bed, it doesn't mean he doesn't care. Showing love means more than just saying it.

Alhamdulillah, I married the right man.

**Sorry for the lovey dovey post, but just needed to get that out**

My Ebay Find

I found this abaya yesteday on ebay. Don't you just love ebay.

An elegant abaya made with soft flowing poly crepe material, light weight and easy to maintain
Comes with matching chiffon shayla (appx. 23"W x 72"L) & a standard valcro closure niqab .

I love the colors of the embroidery, very colorful. Check out the seller's store here (Nabila's Collection) to see available sizes and other items. Luckily this one is a Buy Now item, so you don't have to bid on it. It's just $39.99 and shipping is just $8.95. Not bad, not bad at all.

Am I wrong?

Can someone please tell me if Im overreacting or askinf for too much. Is it too much too ask myhusband to sleep in the same bed as me? Is too much to wanna be comforted by him? Is it wrong for a husband to try and please his wife?
May someone answer that because apparently the answers Ive given are completely wrong. I thought husbands and wives slept in the same bed, besides for those who have more than one wife.
Isn't that why they call it a marital bed.

Im having a hard time with it, Im trying to be an obedient wife and understand, but its hard because it's making me upset. And no matter how much I try to say so, I feel like its falling on deaf ears. He says that Im a violent sleeper, which I know Im not because my ex-husband slept with me in the same bed and never ever complained. And that I disturb his sleep and I dont see how. He doesn't like for me to touch him while he sleeps, which I found out the hard way the other night, which doesn't bother me too much but everything else does. Maybe Im the wrong one, but Im so confused about it.

A husband is really only suppose to separate from his wife in their bed if he is angry at her, but this isn't the case. He said he isn't angry at me, so what's the problem.

Sorry for rambling but Im just a bit confused by it all and don't know what to do? Im trying to win his affection, I do everything that a wife is suppose to do, what is it that Im not doing?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My Beauty Faves

Just felt like sharing some of my fave beauty products that I j'adore at this moment

Lotion

Bath and Body Works is the way to go. They have the most amazing stuff ever, a for a reasonable price. I like them a whole lot better than Victoria's Secret, even though the are part of the same Limited Brands Co. (I used to work there so I know and I used to get a discount there, that's the only part I miss about the job). Some of my faves :

I love the scent of Black Raspberry Vanilla and Sweat Pea. I don't really like fruity scents but this has just the right amount fruityness and sweetness. I more towards sweet smells. Now their signature collection body creams are just $5 each, great deal!!

Body Wash

I just started using this stuff and I'm in love. Ive been using dial as long as I remember, mainly the bar soap because it's antibacterial. The only thing about antibacterial soaps, they sucked the moisture right outta my skin. But regualr beauty bars sometimes would irritate my skin. Now Ive found something that is the best of both, it contains both antibacterial and moisturizing ingredients. I swear my skin has never felt cleaner or smoother and Ive tried alot of other stuff as well. And the smell is lovely. For some reason I have thing with jasmine. Since my name is yasmin(arabic for jasmine flower) I have an addiction to jasmine, weird connection right?

Perfume

I don't but perfume on a regular basis but a few that I sooo want right now (hint, hint to the hubby) I've been wanting this ever since I smelled it in a magazine last year and for some reason I still haven't got it. But it's definitely on my want list. It's a very fun and playful fragrance. Here are a few of the notes: water lily, lady apple, mandarin meringue, and golden apricot skin are melded with sheer floral notes, accented with dark chocolate, pink frosting accord, amber, warm woods, musk, and vanilla-sounds good enough to eat.

Also

My fave for a long time, Miss Dior Cherie by Dior, of course. I love the very feminine and romatic smell it has. Top notes are wild strawberry leaves and green tangerine. The heart features caramel popcorns surrounded by violets, wild strawberry, and pink jasmine( gotta love that jasmine). The base is created of fresh patchouli leaves and crystalline musk. Don't you just love the bottle. I have a thing for pretty bottles. This is the original one. They have just recently put ot Miss Dior Cherie Eau de Printemps. I don't like it that much, has a bit more of an orangey smell which I don't like. This is more of a fall/winter fragrance but hey in the house, it can be any season you want.

You can buy these frangrances at Sephora, Dillard's, or Macy's.

I just recently decided to change my face scrub and this stuff is like magic in a bottle. My skin is so much clearer and smoother, and less oily thanks to this stuff. I guess those Neutrogena commercials don't lie, because Im surely a believer.

You Are Having a Brown Day

Today you are your normal responsible, serious self. You're getting done what needs to be done. And you're not too worried about how you're feeling. While you're all business, you are still warm and approachable. You are busy, but you're not too busy for a little fun down time.

What Color Day Are You Having?

Okay this quiz is an absolute lie, normal, serious self, not worried about how I feel, yea right. It's like this test was mainly made for happy people because the choices were all choices like content, peaceful, confident, nothing like angry, pissed, underweather. What happened to the angry people choices. I'm feeling a bit more on the red side. They need to write a disclaimer/warning for this quiz:-

WARNING. Take this quiz only if you are feeling normally happy and content. Do not take this quiz if you show any signs of depression, anger, violence, emotional upset, or any other emotion besides happy. Failure to do so might end up with false results and may result in you cursing us. We are not responsible for any ill feelings you may have for you have been forwarned.

I know it's only a quiz and what's the probability of it accurately telling you how you feel? Just felt like letting off a little steam, so Im taking it out on the quiz. Better than taking it out on a person cuz that won't be pretty. But at least it makes wanna get a mood ring. Don't you remember those?

Ok let me stop before this post ends up sounding crazier than it already does.

Random Thoughts

I haven't really had the will to blog, I guess we all get to that point. I have post that Im still working on but kinda procrastinating.

I don't know Im just feeling blah right now, Ive been feeling that way for the past 2 days. You think I should be in that whole newlywed marital bliss but its like been there done that.

Im just not feeling myself especially today. Im usually outgoing, smiley, laughing but today I dont wanna do any of that. Im probably moping about what I don't know. I feel sick, my head is hurting, Im feeling awfully tired, I don't have an appetite for anything, my stomach is hurting, I feel hormonal, and it's not that time of the month. Maybe I should see a psychologist, maybe there's something wrong or maybe its just all in my head. I feel so run down.

Sorry for all the rambling but this the one place I feel I can let out my feelings and emotions. Insha'Allah I'll feel better.

It Ends Right Now

Most of you know the drama of my life when I was previously married. I had cut of all connection to my ex-husband. I didn't wanna speak to him or anything.

So it was a bit weird that 3 days I had called one of my friends and she told me that he had called her asking for my number. Alhamdulillah she thought I had changed my number because when she called me to try to see if it was okay to give him my number, my phone was disconnected thanks to no signal. Apparently it seems he erased my number but then it seems like it found it, remembered it or something cuz he texted me yesterday.

It was just so weird. He would send me like 10 messages at a time saying things like 'I miss you, do you still love me, I love you and I want you back, Im so depressed that you aren't in my life, I messed up, I need you'. Does he think Im crazy? Does he think that Im gonna come running back to him.

HELL NOOO!!!! He surely is taking me as a fool right now. I know he's tryna play on my emotions, seeing if Im some sort of feelings for him, but he is completely mistaken. After what he did, I cut my losses a long time ago. There's no way in the world Im going back. I texted him back saying that he can't say things like to me and that Im a married woman, but he kept texting me back. I told my husband about it and he doesn't like it, but he doesn't wanna get involved and I don't want him too. Im tryna settle it on my own. I shouldn of changed my number a long time ago, but you know 21 year olds, we can't remember anything lol.

What he is doing is so disrespectful. What made it even more disrespectful that he sent a text asking me if I consummated my marriage. Subhanallah!! That is none of his damn business. I know he has some alterior motive behind this.

As is says in the Sharia (Islamic Law), if a husband divorces his wife with 3 divorces, she cannot remarry him until she marries another husband, consummates that marriage, and that husband divorces her.

I know that is what he is thinking, but it's not gonna happen. I feel sorry for him in away but it's time to move on a get on with life. He messed up and now he's feeling the pain because he lost someone he know was good. Now it's my husbands time to shine-lol. Insha'Allah, he'll be able to move on and find somone else. May Allah make him a better person and ease his heart.

Now first thing on my list of things to do:- CHANGE MY NUMBER. Hopefully that'll get the message thru lol

Daughters of Another Path

As most of you know, I was born Muslim. But I love to hear the stories of those who have reverted to Islam. They are always so inspiring and sometimes bring tears to my eyes. They struggles the faced to tell their families, friends, and the negativity the sometimes dealt with. I read a book not that long ago called Daughters of Another Path: Experience of American Women Choosing Islam by Carol Anderson.

The author is the christian mother whose daughter converted to Islam, In the book she explores the path that American Christian woman have taken towards Islam. I really loved the book because it was very objective; the author was honest with her feelings but yet never criticized anyone for their beliefs. It's very relatable and a lot the stories are inspiring. I also love how it tells bothe sides of the stories, first from the daughters and then how their families felt. So you get a true understanding of the whole picture. It even includes the survey that the author had sent out to help compile the book. I highly suggest it to all muslim and non-muslims alike, especially those who are new reverts, it can serve as a guideline and inspiration of how to deal with the struggles you might face with your families.

Here is the description on the back cover:-

The rapid growth of Islam in America is a current phenomenon. Why are our American daughters leaving their Christian bacgrounds and choosing Islam, a religion that requires discipline, submission, and being "different?"

Daughters of Another Path reveals some of the resons and thought processes that led these daughters into a new journey in their spiritual life.

You will experience some of the hurt and frustratuon of paretns and families as they deal with their daughters' choosing another path.

Yet it is a heartwarming book by a non-Muslim mother telling her story of reconciliation with her own daughter's conversion to Islam and includes stories of fifty-three other American women who have chosen Islam.

Happy Reading :)

Watch Out! Muslim Woman Driving!

I just got back from my first driving lesson and Im proud to say I didn't kill anyone or hit anything and my husband's car (or my soon to be car) is still intact with no scratches. Alhamdulillah it went better than I expected it. I was soo nervous.

My husband just pulls into a parking lot (of a church no less) and then tells me to get in the drivers seat. I thought that he was just gonna show me how to turn, put the car in reverse, etc just the basics you think. NO. He tells me to take the car onto the road. Mind you, the last time I was behind the wheel of a car I was like 15, it would be 19 but sittin behind the wheel of you mom's car to turn it on doesn't count.

At least I didn't freak out, it just made me a bit more nervous. I know the guy who was driving behind was getting mad or I think he was, but at least he didn't curse at me or honk he's horn. If it was NY, those swear words would of been flying like crazy. But thank God people are a bit nicer and patient down here.

If it was my driver's test, I think I would of failed 1) for taking my hands off the wheel. My hubby is saying Im dangerous because of it. The car didn't spin outta control or crash so no big deal right? 2) I turned without signaling and didn't come to a complete stop, oh well I'll remember it next time I guess. I think that's all, but overall I did a good job.

My husband was making fun of me because I was stopped at a school bus and a little girl got off the bus and crossed the street. He kept saying 'don't hit her, don't hit her unless you wanna go to jail'. Mind you the girl was crossing like 100 ft away and the car was at a complete standstill. I know, he's just messing with me. Insha'Allah, we'll see how tomorrow's driving lesson goes, if I live to tell about it, just kidding ;)

I Have an Itch, Should I Scratch?

Please don't get weirded out by the post title. I don't have a yeast infection or a crazy skin condition lol. The itch I'm talking about is the baby itch. Some of you know what I'm talking about. That feeling that you just wanna have a child of your own to love and care for. It's funny cuz that feeling usually comes around when you spend a lot of time around another persons child, and for me I can't even tell the last time I was around a baby, maybe back in Ramadan at the masjid. Maybe I could be wrong but Im having that feeling.

I really dont wanna rush things. Im enjoying being newly married and spending time with my husband. People say that I should wait and just enjoy my marriage and enjoy each other first because once a child comes along everything is gonna change. I completely agree with it and I don't wanna rush anything but it's like my soul is craving a child, for lack of better words. I fully understand the responsibility that I child requires and that its not easy but there is so much blessing to it.

In my previous marriage, I became pregnant early on, about 2 months after we had gotten married. I ended up miscarrying around 2 1/2-3 months. Yea it was sad, but it was the qadr of Allah and now I see why it happened.

I've talked to my husband about it even before we got married and he said he's caught between 2 things. He said he wants to wait til after he finishes grad school, which is next year, but then on the other hand he really wants to have a child now, just one, and also to get his mom offhis back. You know how mothers are when they want grandchildren-thankfully my mom isn't part of that group but I know she'll be happy either way. I then asked him again after we got married and he said he wants to have children pretty soon.

So now Im thinking is soon like weeks, months away? Yea I know Im crazy but like I said it's that damn itch that won't go away. It's getting so bad that Im watching all those baby shows, like the one on TLC A Baby Story. I think he watched it with me, maybe he got the hint because honestly in a way that's what I was hoping to do. I would just accidently stumble across the show while channel surfing and become interested like Ive never seen it before. I know Im bad lol.

Insha'Allah, in the near future you might be reading about a bun in hte oven, but for now I'll try to be a bit more patient.

A Girl Can Never Have Too Many Abayas

This is soo very true. All I ever really wear is abayas, so the more the merrier. Since I couldn't think of anything for my dowry, my husband suggested that he just buy me abayas, whichever ones I want as long as I dont go overboard with it, like max out his credit card overboard. That's a girls dream and my dream come true. Soon as he said that, I already knew the ones I wanted. I had to convince him about ordering things from oversees because he's a bit finicky about it since it takes longer and he says you never know if they'll actually send it to you. But Im pretty confident. All of them are from websites that I or friends who purchashed from and haven't had any trouble alhamdulillah. Well here are a few of the ones I picked and are in the process of ordering:

This one is absolutely pretty. It's from Tahura.com. What I love about tahura is that they custom make the abaya for you. You choose the measurements, the color of the designs (they have a long list of colors), and whether you want the abaya open or closed. That's just unbelievabley awesome. I like the colors the chose above, but I would probably do white and another neutral.

Also from tahura, this is my favorite out of all of them. Too bad it's not made out of the material display. As it says on the website satin material in pictured abaya for iluustration purposes only. All abayas will be cut from the normal 'softtouch' tahura abaya material. It would be nice if they did, but it's still beautiful. Im gonna order it as is.

Im always looking for something a bit different and this abaya makes the cut. This one is from 2hijab.com It has a beautiful ribboned trimmed hood and flowing sleeves. To get a better look at it click here. The pictures will say enough.

For my satin craving, this abaya from al-hijaab is so beautiful. It looks too nice for everyday, but for those days I just wanna look glam and chic, this will do the trick. And the plus side, it comes with the matching shayla FREE!!!! That makes my day lol.

And last but not least Im gonna get a plain black open style abaya, once I find one I like. A girl can never have too many of those. It's an abaya wardrobe.